My 94 yr old dad hasn't been taken to a specialist for dementia. Sister has told me he has it. Should I believe her? - AgingCare.com

My 94 yr old dad hasn't been taken to a specialist for dementia. Sister has told me he has it. Should I believe her?

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Oldest sister has told me he has dementia which was said to her by his primary doctor. Years back when she was in charge of all his needs. Will this be true or is she still wanting to pull the other leg?

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Thank u all for ur comments n answers. As me n mt sister its sisters n 2 brothers. I guess everyone wants a piece of wht is given to me. Idk but this is all a big conflict and i wish they all could just get along.for my parents sake. they dnt even bother asking how they r.for whn the day comes. I think im the only one thts going to b thr as i have been all these yrs. So sad tht its 11 of us plus their children n grandchildren which is quite a bunch are not going to b a their parent funeral. Cuz by the look of things none of thm seem to care. Ive tried sending messages n emails on parents health r what dr. Saus whn i take thm to c drs. N they dont answer but i get something new r make repairs to our parents house they want to knw how i paid dnt even notice how nice r how much better it looks.i try to make things more comfortable for both parents. All n all im doing a preety damn good job w hubbys help too. They just dnt knw how to appreciate. I guess
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Reply to Ng78580
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Spot on, Jeanne.

And anyway, Ng, when your parents' estate is as you say not going to be a big deal, is it really the will that you and your sister are arguing about, or is there some other burr in her bustle?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Thank you, Jeanne, for the comment. That was what I wanted to say, but then I realized that I would just be parroting you, not speaking from my own knowledge.
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Reply to realtime
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Having dementia does NOT prevent a person from making or changing a will. What is important is whether the person could understand what he was signing.

So all this discussion of who can make the diagnosis and whether it has to be in the person's medical record, etc. is not relevant.

Here is an article about this by AC's legal expert: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elder-cant-sign-will-trust-power-of-attorney-153521.htm

The lawyer who helped with the will several years ago apparently was satisfied that Dad did understand what he was signing. I think your sister would have a very hard time contesting it.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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As I understand it, you need to know whether your parents were legally competent to make their wills and give you their power of attorney five years ago. Ng, I have been trying to formulate some suggestions for you, and have realized that I really am not knowledgeable enough to do it. I'm sorry to have put you to the trouble of answering my questions.
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Reply to realtime
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Realtime, dnt knw exactly the date but it was like 15 or 20 yrs ago ive been caring for parents like 10 -15 yrs now. so whn she was the caregiver itwas way some yrs ago.
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Reply to Ng78580
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Grammyteacher wish all familys were like urs all my family wants is to hurt me r gossip abt me n my 3 adult children.n husband. Really i dnt knw wht it is tht they all want frm me. Idnt have much n wht my parents signed over is not much either they dont even care abt our parents last wishes they are rude n angry for no reason and at me i wish i could figure all this. if someone has an idea plz let me knw try not to stress as i have my parents to stress over with
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Reply to Ng78580
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Your sister could be a liar as well.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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I cared for my mom through her Alzheimer's with little help from my siblings. Now that she is gone, we will equally share her estate. I feel that is the way it should be. We each had our joys and challenges in life but we all shared a mother, we will all share her estate. Being thoughtful and caring of all is a good place to be.
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Reply to Grammyteacher
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I was told a psychiatrist had to diagnose the patient, and a short admittance was required as well, for an official diagnosis of dementia. I’d think the GP would refer a patient suspected of dementia to a Geri Psych unit.

Maybe each state is different but that’s what we had to do for my mom. She was so good at acting normal she fooled a lot of people. But I thought, she won’t fool a psychiatrist!
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