My 84 y/o father has fallen twice in the past year or so. Any suggestions on how to present a walker?

Firstly, walkers themselves can be very dangerous if one uses them incorrectly, and if there is any dementia present then it would be difficult to get the training to stick. But just giving a walker can be dangerous. People tend to use the walker by putting it way out in front, the catching up with their bodies, and they lean forward without the support under them, causing further falls. People tend to forget them and trip over them. So they are marvels when needed, but if not needed can be more problematic than not. So there is that to consider. What were the reasons for the falls? You say balance; but are there any other contributing factors? When there are balance issues as so often happens, there are wonderful and simple balance exercises that truly work very very well. Is it possibly a medication problem, such as the age old "take a blood pressure pill, blood pressures goes low, person rises from sitting position or up at night to pee and down they go" sort of thing?
This is worth discussion, and in times such as this one hour with a physical therapist is worth twenty with an MD in my humble opinion. I think PT is so overlooking in how much it can help the elderly. Ask your MD for a PT consult.
If, after assessment, a therapist recommends a walker I would vote against the sit on them walkers, because without expertise in them they tend to make people walk too far behind them, and people go down from getting on and off the seat. I would then explain to Dad that a fall that breaks a fragile bone could mean he had to move into care, or a higher level of care, or even be bedridden with all the complications that entails.
If none of that works, and it might not, it is a matter of time. Balance is the issue with my bro, as well, and he totally refuses to do the exercises that improved it so much in rehab. You can only do so much and the rest is out of your hands. Wishing you good luck, and Dad, too.

I agree with Alva dear, a meeting with a therapist would be helpful, maybe even to introduce him to the walker. Parents don’t like to listen to kids. What do you know!? But often will obey “Experts”.

I think the type of walker you use depends a lot on the elders mental abilities. To use the Rollator type, four wheels, seat, brakes, you have to be quite with it. My mom was ok with one for a short while after hip replacement but as her dementia started she wouldn’t remember to set the brakes and it would roll away from her when she tried to get up from her chair and she would fall. The lift and drag type is better for lots of elders.

The biggest battle is getting elders with any dementia at all to remember to use the walker. I never won this battle with my mom.

I did it with a visit to my dad’s primary care doctor who wrote a Rx for it, then we went to a medical supply store, and they had him try different ones and fit him with the best one for him. The store staff then did a “rollator class” for him to teach him all about it and its use. It was much better coming from the doctor and medical supply people than from me. Now he’s literally attached to it for every step

StrugglingSue, my Dad was also falling outside trying to use a cane. After one ER visit I decided it was time for him to try using a rollator walker, one that has hand brakes and a seat. Oh my gosh, he was so happy you'd think I had bought him a Mustang.

Dad learned quickly how to use this type of walker. He liked that it had a basket in front so when he went out to get the mail, driveway has a slope to it, he could just toss the mail into the basket and head back up the driveway.

It was my Mom who didn't want my Dad to be outside in public with his new walker, someone might think he was old. HELLO, he was in his 90's. Dad ignored Mom which was brave on his part.

There are many reasons a person might fall.

i agree with Alva. Be very careful about introducing walkers without proper education.
Also make sure his shoes fit properly and that his feet and nails are in good shape.

Ask his doctor to order PT to help him with his balance and to evaluate his need for a cane or walker.
Check his BP and pulse often. While sitting and when he stands.
Is he on any medication? That should also be looked at.

My aunt uses a cane. She does very well with it. I asked therapist about a walker and was told it wasn’t recommended for her. That she did better with the cane.
Your dad may need neither.
My dad never fell. My mom used a rollator walker which she was using when she had her defining fall. She never used it again and always used the lightweight walker with the two tennis balls after that.

But you are on the right track in wanting to save him from a fall that leaves him with a broken bone. Your life and his changes after a bad fall.

While you are at it, make sure he gets a bone density test.

The worst thing is for him to be afraid to walk and want to stay in his chair all day.
Sometimes elders haven’t thought it out but just feel safer staying in one spot. Not a good plan for longevity if that is something he’s concerned with.

He could also be showing signs of a mental condition that is affecting his balance.

One of the best books I’ve read to help me frame my approach to elder care is “Being Mortal, Medicine and what matters in the end” by Atul Gawande.
It elevates the conversations we have with our loved ones about living out their lives.

On the other hand, when you start having to sacrifice your own health to enable your parents bad decisions, it’s time to look for other caregivers. It’s a fine balance. Let us know how it works out.

Thanks to everyone for the great advice!

My dad only used his as a seat to watch tv. He liked how high the seat was and he could get up easily, unless he forgot to set the brakes. He ended up with a gnarly black eye one time and an egg on his forehead another.

He was fitted in rehab and trained how to safely use it. I recommend getting him fitted and trained as alvadeer recommends.

Unfortunatly people fall and I would ask the PT if they can teach him how to fall if he won't use a walker.

Does Dad like living independently and being at his own home? That's my convincing (usually) argument...I mean...what if next time you're not so lucky, you fall, break something and wind up needing surgery to fix a broken hip? Way better to use the damn walker. And if he won't...remember...you tried. He's entitled to his autonomy, making decisions for himself, even if bad choices. It's what we would all want. :-)

Would your father be able or willing to use walking sticks or hiking poles like hikers use? Some seniors here walk with hiking poles so they feel more "sporting" than "frail."

FYI If he’s mentally good, a rollator is much easier to use. It takes mental acuity since it needs to be locked to use it safely but I much prefer it to my cane particularly outdoors or for longer distances. Medicare might cover it if he will go to get a prescription for it. Sorry I don’t recall how much it was, insurance covered mine

Get a rollator. Those regular metal walkers are not really that easy to use - try one yourself. The rollator rolls along easily, has brakes, and a seat if he tires and needs a place to sit.
My mom was totally against a walking device or anything that would make people think she was 'handicapped'. We took a road trip and I brought a rollator with us (didn't tell her). We stopped to visit a site that was going to be quite a walk and I got it out. She was mad - said she didn't need it. I said I was taking in just in case she needed to sit down and I pushed it along. About half way, she needed a rest and I let her use it. She walked the rest of the way. On the way back, she took a sit for a breather and then said she would try to walk with it. Not far, but was seeing it really helped to have the support. Next stop we made - no arguments. Took a while but she eventually said it was a good thing. That was about 15 years ago. She is 95 now and still uses a rollator. (When she has been to rehab, they only gave her that metal frame looking walker and it was much too hard for her to move...even w/the tennis balls on the legs).

Is your father a veteran? My husband hated to use the metal walker but the VA clinic here in Texas gives out beautiful rollators to the veterans and he really likes it. He sits in it when we go out to eat too because the seat is higher and is easier for him to get up from than a regular chair. He's even started helping me in the kitchen again because he can sit and do certain tasks.

Most elders are going to be resistant to a walker. Show him by using it first yourself. There is a stigma attached to a walker. But it may save his life from the next fall so it is IMPERATIVE that he use it!!

Actually, I had the same problem. I presented it as the only thing that would allow me to get him outside. Took it and him on an outing and reminded him that this was all possible thanks to the walker. He began asking to use it and he gets out a lot more often.

+1 AlvaDeer: Ask your MD for a PT consult.

If Dad chooses to work with PT for assesment & walking aide trial there will more chance he will accept it & use it. The dignity of choice in his own care is huge. Depends on his temperment of course... plenty of stubborn furniture grabbers out there.. Hope your Dad can adjust as required - it's to increase his own safety after all.

My dad has a couple rollators. One in the house, one outside since he takes walks. He fell at the grocery store about 1-1/2 years ago when I was with him (we used to have him steady himself by using the cart) but after that, I told him we would no longer leave the house without his walker. His caregivers have the same instructions when they come over to take him out. He quickly came to realize that if he wanted to be mobile, he would have to use his walker. If I see him without it and he is struggling, I remind him he needs to use it. Getting him to use it was easier than I thought it would be once he realized we would not leave the house without it.

My aunt bought two bench walkers, and my mom refused to use it except for placing things on the seat and pushing them around with it so that she wouldn't carry them in her arms any more.  Then when I got her and put her in a facility, we tried using a quad cane ( much to her chagrin), and the employees said that a bench walker would be better for her.  By this time I had given it back to my aunt, and I had to retrieve it from her for my mom's use.  My mom started using it at the facility and now she won't go anywhere without it.  It has to be THEIR idea to start with, or someone else's idea--not yours.  Won't work if it is.  Try having someone else suggesting it, or use someone else who has one suggesting it to him.

Hi I’m a PT I know how hard it is to convince a patient esp one that is very independent to use a walker. If he is safe inside his home environment then tell him dad let’s use the walker when you go outside on even. Terrain where can fall easily . Use your upper body strength to offload the legs for safer ambulation. Usually if the patient doesn’t feel restricted to walker at all times it’s more acceptable..

Very thoughtful answers, all of them. From my experience, learning to use a walker is very challenging for anyone, especially those with dementia. As with anything, we all should "try it ourselves". If it was your only way to move throughout your home, you too would resist. It's complicated. It requires a larger girth to traverse. If one of the legs catches on a doorway, a corner of the sidewalk, a step, the likelihood for a fall is very high. When you fall with a walker, you fall ON a walker. That too, causes injury. All that said, using a walker safely improves with assistance of the caregiver.
PT can help teach you how to help
-Walk in front, hands on walker
-Coach LO how to walk into the walker space, and then move walker ahead

Often my dad refused a walker. PT taught me how to properly support him as we walked together. I was strong enough to keep him from falling. She instructed me to help him from a sitting position with a grip - hand to hand (my thumb under his thumb, my fingers over his wrist - like you are going to arm wrestle). Then, you put your other arm around their back, holding around their waist or holding their pants' waist, or some folks use the "walking belt". I also ALWAYS held his NON dominant hand. Dad was left-handed. Because his left hand was free, he was able to hold onto the counter, the door frame, etc. This gave him support but independence and choice, too. Walking together worked for us and also using a walker with me walking backwards worked too.
One more thing about the walker - it causes the person to "look down" which changes their perspective completely. You're not prepared for what's ahead when you're looking down, up, down, up. Again, I suggest you (all or us) try the walker, or the diapers, or as many changes as we demand for our loved ones. It opens our eyes and gives us a sense of what they are dealing with. That learned perspective can help us help them better.

My best to you!

My dad REFUSED to think about using a walker or rollator before this. He is very unsteady and has needed something for awhile now. He has a bowed back which really hurts him when he stands much so he is always using a buggy at the stores (thank goodness!) One day while we were out he had no buggy and we were close to Lilys...(the store that has the products on TV) He loves that store! So we went in and there was a rollator. I said "dad, while we are in the store just use this since there is no buggy." He DID....and he loved it! So we bought one and he has used it ever since! At least that is one way to present...worked for us! :)

I am on track with those who are reminding you that the priority in your mother's situation is not "who is to blame," but is the urgency of keeping her clean. She needs a caregiver or home health side to help her stay clean. Whether that is family or hired help depends on what your family can arrange. If her protests and resistance make caregiving impossible, it is time for a Competency Hearing.

Lots of good ideas in this discussion. My 88 year-old mother was prescribed a rollator by her pcp two years ago. She has never used it. She tells me she doesn't need it. BUT, she needs someone else's help to get up from a chair and walk anywhere. She is visually impaired due to macular degeneration, but she shuffle through the house by groping for furniture, walls, anything to help her walk. Mention the rolator and she screams she doesn't need it. I tried telling her I would not take her outside the house without it. She doesn't care because she can get my brother to take her where she needs to go (mostly medical appointments). He would rather pout up with the struggle of keeping her from falling than listen to her screech about the rollator. I don't know the answer to this question. And, yes, I have tried using it myself. I think my mother doesn't have the upper body strength to use it. She also absolutely refuses a wheelchair of any type. I know it's frustrating.

Add a basket and/or tray - my Mom hated it but we got a pink one (she calls pinky), won't use it always but with the basket (which holds her always in use box of tissues) it seems to be convenient to her so she keeps it close. STILL won't use it in each room even though we made each home area accessible with it.

My aunt never wanted to use a walker and SHE NEVER DID! Instead, she grabbed onto your arm as you walked beside her. This is a very bad idea for a number of reasons. It pulls the other person down and it is not sturdy enough for the elder! But "at least it doesn't make them look old." I recall my aunt telling me "You're not doing it right." Hmm??! I'M not doing what right?!! She was the woman who would not use a walker.

My husband’s grandma wouldn’t even use a cane. Heaven forbid a walker! She wouldn’t even wear sensible shoes saying they were ‘old lady’ shoes. She wore high heels! She was in her eighties.

She would hold onto the stair railing and make it up two flights of stairs in a huge old uptown New Orleans home. How she didn’t break anything is a mystery. The old saying that God looks after ‘fools and drunks’ comes to mind.

I had a nurse tell my mom to retire her cane and use a walker. I got tired of her saying that she didn’t need one. So I asked her nurse to tell her. She was able to convince mom that it was a great idea! I was grateful to her nurse for making her see it was in her best interest.

She used it from the day I bought it. It was a rollater with a seat. She loved having a seat that opened up to place her purse in.

My uncle had a three wheel one. I guess they are space saving.