One of these neurologists referred her to occupational driver test which she failed on cognition. My mom lost a part of her independence which was very sad. Now I would like to move onto planning for her future but this is the situation. I moved in with her 1 1/2 years ago but my home is 2 states away. She does not like my home and I don't want to live in her State either so I suggested that we sell both our homes and try to agree on a home and location but she seems resistance. The earlier to move the better. Any suggestions on how to meet somewhere in the middle? I do not want to move her against her will. I am the only option she has and we live very well together. Sometimes she's ok with leaving this house and then she changes her mind. Even her only best friend is moving to her daughters in another State.

angelalutz, your question is basically "how to meet somewhere in the middle?" but you say she is resistant and changes her mind. Not sure what suggestion would work except to say that since you will be providing her care I hope you know what you are signing up for. Please read around this forum under caregiver burnout. Many a loving, well-meaning adult child has gone down this path only to hit the burnout wall. If you can move her to the state where you want to live I'm asking you to consider having her live in AL and not with you, if financially possible. Or at least prepare your mind and heart that it might become a necessity. Since you are intending to be her caregiver for now you should live where you want to live so you have a support system and social life. I'm glad you get along with her but please remember she's changing. You are doing a loving thing and I hope you stay flexible as you help your mom navigate her ALZ journey. I'm glad she has you!
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Reply to Geaton777

Since Your Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's then She is no longer capable of rational thinking then It is best that You as Her Daughter and best Friend decide for Both of You. A nice little bungalow built to facilitate wheel chair axcess and toilet etc. Choose carefully remember the Kitchen dining room, & living area is where you need the sun to shine all day. Rarely do People think of this when purchasing a new home and It is so important.
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Reply to anonymous275053

Stay or go where you want to go.
Your mom can not make decisions any longer so do not base your life on what she wants.
If you are going to look for a house look at houses that are either built handicap accessible or have been properly adapted. You want wide hallways, wide doorways, no stairs or at least a bedroom and a handicap bathroom on the main floor. You want a roll in shower sometimes called barrier free or 0 edge.
I could go on but I think you get the idea and I am sure that others will have more suggestions.
I also suggest that you contact an Elder Care Attorney and make sure you have all the paperwork that you need. And is there a possibility that you will have to apply for Medicaid for her if so make sure you are ready for that
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Grandma1954

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