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She has become hostile, delusional and combative. She has become extremely insensitive. She isolates herself and has no desire to see family members. She has no desire to socialize.

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73 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, anxiety, arthritis, cancer, depression, heart disease, incontinence, lung disease, mobility problems, osteoporosis, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection.

Apart from age-related decline, which shouldn't be anything very remarkable at 73, almost all of the other issues listed could produce the effects you describe either directly or indirectly. Especially the cancer, the lung disease, the heart disease, the depression, the sleep disorder and the uti. And the osteoporosis, if it's causing painful degeneration or undiscovered fractures.

Actually. If she literally has all of these conditions, bona fide and diagnosed, she must feel absolutely dreadful all of the time. What are you asking of her in the way of sweet temper, consideration for others and party-going?
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You don't mention if your mother suffers from Alzheimer's/dementia? It sure sounds like it. Has she been tested for a UTI as well? Sudden changes in personality can often be attributed to an infection, such as a UTI. If not, then she should definitely be given a cognition test for dementia.

Why did you move a 'narcissistic' mother into your home, knowing that she suffers from such a personality disorder??? Now you'll have to figure out how to get her into managed care of some kind, like Skilled Nursing with Medicaid to fund it, once you get her a clear and concise diagnosis. Otherwise, you're in a for a wild ride I think! Delusions and wandering are common with dementia, especially as it progresses.


You don't ask a question here in your post, so how can we help you on the forum today?
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2022
Oh you mean, hurtful beasty you! :-) I bet that someone is having a super crap day and reading through their emotions, as we all do on occasion.

I find your answer very helpful and not the least bit hurtful or full of insinuations or assumptions.
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Perhaps she's gaslighting you?

I found out this is what my mom has been doing to me and my brother
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Firstof5 Dec 2022
My mom does it, too. It took a long time to figure it out that she does it to make herself feel better.
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Sounds like she may be suffering from another UTI(since you listed that as one of her issues in your profile)or could be dementia(which you haven't listed as her having).
Being paranoid, delusional, combative, and hostile are all symptoms of dementia. Has she been seen by a neurologist to see if that is what is going on? If not I would take her to one ASAP, so she can be properly diagnosed.
Your profile says that she's living with you, so it may be time to start looking into placing her in the appropriate facility like assisted living that has a memory care attached in case she doesn't have a UTI but dementia as that will only get worse.
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leolonni, I thought your answer was very hurtful. True she didn't give us the full story, so there is no reason to answer her post with all sorts of insinuations and assumptions. I think "you don't ask a question here in your post, so how can we help you on the forum today?" would have been a good reply by itself.
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lealonnie1 Dec 2022
How on earth is it 'very hurtful' to ask the OP how we can help her today?? Not to mention, the original post DID NOT have 'any advice' tacked onto the title, the admin added it later on, as they often do. And where's your helpful answer to this OP? Try not to confuse asking honest questions with intentional hurtfulness.
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Assuming she has no diagnosis and doesn’t want to get one, she’s assumed to be of sound mind. Leave her to her notions until the inevitable physical crisis.
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