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I'm new to this? My mum was diagnosed with mci - but what we see and live with is way beyond that. I am her main caregiver feeling very alone. Also mum had uti in January was in hospital 12 weeks with phychosis and delerium. Consultant says because mum had a history of depresssion. It's harder to diagnose and basically what was I pushing it for. Mum has difficulty dressing washing eating - she asks me the same question over and over again. She was a healthy 9stone up until the last 3 months were she has lost a stone and a half. We were sent down the route of a physical problem - even the doctor there said mums eating problems were coming from her mind. She had small vascular changes in her ct scan - iscchemic changes - spelling prob wrong. She scores 64 out of 100 in ace-r test and 21 in mmse. She is with me at mi ute for a week. She wont sleep alone as she is frightened. Daddy lives with her a home. I noticed mammy starting to dote a bit 2 -3 years ago but that is looking back. Its hard to find her in her eyes anymore but when she is with me she is at her happiest. Gosh im so long winded. My question is really why her GP is giving her shots to drink and she says mum has dementia but ultimately she has to work with consultant. Mum cannot walk to shops... full of fear. This is the lonliest illness.

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Welcome, you'll find this site full of folks sharing the same experience as you.

Is there something in particular that you're struggling with now ?
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Hi - i just updated there now - if you get a chance to read thanks
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Pleaser, where are you?
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Northern Ireland x
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Like mum got up this morning. She has increased difficulty getting out of bed. And maybe wets herself a few days a week.
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I'm not familiar with the system of GPs and consultants. Is any of these doc's a psychiatrist? It sounds as though your mom needs some psychiatric medications to help her with anxiety and agitation.
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She has a physchiatrist. I think my main worry is that mammy has definitely progressed further than mci. When she goes to phyc she doesnt tell the truth then she is exhausted after her show - mum is on 2 antidepressants and risperadone 500mcg. What i cannot understand... is why thet cannot see how far gone mum is. Mum is a great actor - my dad nursed his own mother through dementia and k ows too mum is alot worse than the physc evaluates. Does anyone else have this experience?? The phys said to me - you do realise that if we diagnose your mum it is a difficult procrss labelling her. But how do we get the help we need without the disgnosis sorry im babbling
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What would you be able to access if you have a diagnosis? Does it matter, in terms of services she would be able to get?

Why is it a difficult process to " label her"?
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You Mom sounds a great deal like mine 4 months ago.
Month over month the decline was visible. Slowly losing more function. Loss of appetite and the weight loss that went with it

They only answer seemed to be the TIAs ...

the doctors were finally willing to admit they had no real answers and no treatment.
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The NHS works slightly differently in NI, so I'm not sure if your system implemented the GPs referral incentive a couple of years ago - but it certainly doesn't sound like it.

What kind of social services support is your father getting? Has he had, or could you get him, a Carer's Assessment?

Your mother's mental health picture must be hugely complicated; but even so I think the time has passed for her GP to be talking about what sounds like 'watchful waiting.' When is your mother next due to see her Older Age Psychiatrist? If that isn't scheduled, be a squeaky wheel about it. You're right, you need a thorough baseline assessment or you haven't got a prayer of getting her the right kind of help. Worrying about 'labelling' is surely beside the point - it's 2017 for Pete's sake, aren't we supposed to be challenging stigma?
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Thankyou both .... she is having seeing her phychiatrist who wants to do a baseline test in next couple of weeks but she has no idea what day date or year it is. My father did not get a carers assessment. To be honest I am so disappointed at the lack of support. Ive had mum at mine for 5days now and I know its selfish of me but i am wrecked - i have 2 teenage kids and 2jobs but cannot leave her alone af all - i found the physc to be patronising. I know my mums lost and please know i am as good as gold to her. Katie Kate how is ur mum now? Countrymouse thank you for all. I dont want my mum labelled i just want to know how in Gods name they can allow her to be the way she is and say it is just mild cog impairment when my mum has so obviously got dementia
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You want to know how?

Are you sure you do?

Have a quick think about how many people in your area alone are living at home with dementia. Then think about how many care/home help providers, community mental health nurses, older age psychiatrists, geriatricians, radiologists, neurologists, district nurses, physios and occupational therapists it would take to provide them all with the care that, according to the NHS Patients' Charter + your local authority's statutory responsibilities, they are entitled to.

If they can keep your mother off the list, they will. But to be fair, they haven't - they've referred her. The Memory Clinic assessment should involve interviews with a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, and your mother will be seen with you or your father - who's going? Best if you both can, if possible - and separately, on her own.

Do not coach her during tests even if you have been asked to be present. If she says anything that is completely away with the fairies you can tell the interviewer what is actually true when your mother has finished speaking, but don't interrupt her and don't get into discussions with her - she'll need all her energy to concentrate. Take some treats for her and a good book for you, because it can go on a bit.

Why didn't your father have a carer's assessment? Did he not want one, not know about it or was it refused? As I said, I'm none too sure about what rules apply in NI; but he must have entitlements to support - have you tried looking them up online?
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Thank you cm i will look up carers assess - daddy defo wasnt given one - can i write you later as i have mum here - shes going back to daddy today after a week with me. Thank you so much for taking time out to answer me cm - i really appreciate it.
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