Mum refused to go to respite. Any advice?

If she won't go to rehab, you should. Let the idiots fend for themselves. You have spoiled them to the point that they have no regard for your life.

Try this for the weekend. Let brother stay with her and you go to his place, turn off the phone and just sleep until Monday?

You need to take care of YOU first!! I would walk away and let mom and brother know that you need to recover and a break to do that. You are sorry if that doesn't fit in to there plans but you need a break so if mom wont go into respite care then you have to do what will be best for you. Its OK to choose YOU first. You can't provide care when you need care yourself.

kazzaa, why are you still there? You've been writing about how miserable you are, how much stress you are under, and threatening to move out for months now (if memory serves, which it doesn't always).

If you continue to put up with this, it will continue to happen.

I am taking as much as a break as I can which means depending on friends for the odd stay over I havnt spoke to my mother since the other day my brother is going to stay the night while im not there I am texting him with lots of things to do so his head will be wrecked by the time im finished my so called BREAK.
Youre so right JB it is a joy when you have the house to yourself and not having to worry or watch them wasting away watching TV all day.
Its not easy giving up cigs its been very tough aswell as having to stick to a very strict low cholesterol diet OUCH! And yes JB youre right I have the odd glass of red wine now so unfair when all you want to do is drink the whole damn bottle!!!
In fact the best thing to do is drink a glass of red wine with dark chocolate only about two squares though.
im eating nothing and have lost 7lbs just fish and veg and nuts I have a STRESS TEST on Monday where they put you on a treadmill boy am I dreading that. Have been very dizzy all week as my body is getting used to the ASPIRIN the doctor said I would be on it for life which I am always a bit dubious about I must ask Ferris what she thinks I do not like the fact of taking meds for life?
My mum has been on so many meds for the past 30yrs and I can see what its done to her but then again she had no choice as her diet and lifestyle were just awful.
Maybe having the mini stroke was the best thing that could've happened to me as I couldn't go on with smoking and eating the crappy comfort food that I was I wasn't even eating I was grazing on chips and chocs and the odd proper meal? then mum I always make sure she eats a well balanced meal? yep go figure why we take so good care of them and total disregard for our own health? I don't have a problem with healthy food as im quite a good cook and can make anything tasty its the cigs I miss they were my best friend funny isn't it I can look at a chesseburger and go UGH stroke but I miss smoking? Such an awful addiction they say its harder to give up smoking than heroine?
Anyway today is my dads anniversary hard to believe its 2 months, miss him so much and still go to the phone to ring him! I know hes around me and can feel him and I know hes helping me through this nightmare!
hugs to all lifes a big piece of KAK sometimes!
And JB my music guy never rang(sniff) but its not the right time he will ring when im smokefree and beautiful ( he actually didn't smoke)
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Kazzaa where are you? This idea might just be so bonkers it slips through the system because no one knows how to stop it - why don't you take the respite care place and stay there? You've just had a ministroke. You'd have three square meals a day and total quiet. Chairobics and jigsaw puzzles to do if you felt like it. You couldn't smoke, unless you hung around outside the kitchen with the staff. Sell the idea to your community mental health team - this could WORK!

LOL yes I would just love to be in respite with all the old dementia patients!!! I know country mouse you have got to be taking the piss!!

im fine trust me as long as I can escape a couple of nights a week and let my bro take over ill be fine AND wreck his head in the meantime! Win win!!

You see I have a beautiful little cat who adores me and even this week he was all out of sorts as I wasn't there much my bro dosnt like animals although he would never harm him BUT I need to go in everyday and see hes alright hes been my only comfort since all this shit in my life happened.
Sorry CM but am going to have to pee my pants laughing at your suggestion what a great place to go for respite knowing me id probably end up helping out and changing their depends!!! LOL

I will be fine and as JB says you have to go to that respite in your head and just calm down its hard but the alternative of another stroke is enough to make you mentally take your time out. I am a lot less stressed now as I havnt seen mum for 3days!!
I will continue to pop in and out during the day but have the peace of mind to know I can piss off at night and do what ever I want. Just a shame I cant get drunk!
the stroke didn't cause any damage but its a huge warning that the next one may not be so pleasant.
Anyway ive stopped smoking and am gorging on blueberries,oranges,nuts,fish anything that reduces your cholesterol its at 7.2 I need to get it down to at least 6 or lower I refuse to take statins I think they mess up your mind later on and now there is a lot of research to suggest this. taking meds for life is not an option for me id rather live a healthy life and starve than take those.

It sounds like you're doing well, kazzaa. You'll probably be doing better after the stress test is over. I don't like it when things like that are hanging over my head. What I like to do when something is, is think "This too shall pass." Then I think of Monday evening when it will be behind me. That works for me.

I wouldn't be afraid of the aspirin. It is from the bark of a species of willow tree. I think it grows in South America -- I would have to check the range. The natives used to chew the bark of the tree and knew of its good properties before scientists separated the wonder drug. In small doses the COX-2 inhibitor effect is minimal, so not harmful to the stomach. The risk of the blood being too thin is also slim. I take a low-dose Bayer aspirin each day as part of my health program. I figured if the natives chewed the bark, then so can I. I feel good about low-dose aspirin for any adult, particularly those past 40. (Not that we are, of course. Everyone knows we're only 39.)

I just checked on the willow tree range. I see the bark was used both in the old world and the new. So I guess anywhere there is a willow or similar tree, chewing the bark was considered good medicine.