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Daughterof1930

Not rude at all
Where I volunteer there is an Adult Wellness program. A gentleman, went straight from the stall, out the door and up the steps, where he had to hold on to the railing. He did not wash his hands and had had a BM.

Try going up steps without holding on to the railing and see how you would feel.
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I learned from trying signs with my LO who has dementia that signs did not work. They often don't think to read a sign and if they do, they can't process what it says. They may say the words, but, it doesn't seem to have meaning. I used to put a BIG sign in bright letters on the wall at the toilet that said PRESS THE BUTTON FOR HELP. This was in the AL. A staff member would come and assist them with toileting. But, she would sit there forever, because she just didn't process the sign to press the button. So, she had to be taken to the bathroom each time and cleaned up by staff.

I'd likely secure the bathroom door, so you can supervise all visits into that room and help her with hand washing.
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At least she is washing her hands
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Daughterof1930 Feb 2019
Completely not helpful plus rude. If that was your goal you met it. Perhaps check into some compassion for others
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Your mom needs to be tended to while she is in the bathroom.
If she is washing her hands in the toilet is she cleaning her self well after she urinates or has a bowel movement?
Once you are in there with her and are making sure she cleans her self well, or you have to help then you can more easily divert the hand washing to the sink.
By the way I do not think this is uncommon, I have had several people mention this in the support groups that I attend.
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Somebody who is washing their hands in the toilet isn't likely to be reading a sign telling them to stop or to be swayed by logic, her brain is broken so that's never going to work. I think you've reached a point where she needs to be accompanied into the bathroom and guided to wash properly in the sink - fill it up with nice warm soapy water while she does her business. Take the lock off the door and get one of those little door buzzers or chimes so you know when she is in there.
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