Mum is getting more and more aggressive, Advice?

Look out for yourself. Don't take this lightly. If you're feeling afraid, then it's time to get help. Contact the geriatrician now. It will be easier to relay your observations candidly without mom present and s/he can know what to look for during the appointment. It would be best to WRITE your concerns so they become part of your mom's patient file (that way they must be dealt with). Drop off a letter before the appointment.

Like above, anytime there is a change in behavior suspect a medical issues such as a UTI. If a UTI isn't causing the change in behavior it could be depression or dementia. Dementia can change the personality. It's good she is seeing a specialist soon. Remember, her behavior is not a result of anything you have done or said; don't take it personally. good luck

Seroquel/Haldol did not take my MIL's mind away. It calmed her down and gave her some peace. She had been agitated to the point of crazy and her aggression took things to a new level. She was biting, kicking and spitting. Swearing at everybody and making up crazy stories. Sorry, but screaming and biting and hating is not the way to live. She was receiving the best and kindest care possible but nothing worked. Yes, oh yes, we tried about everything first.

If you haven't "been there" please do not think less of us who found help with meds.

I hope I don't do these things to my one and only child. It is tough.....

Aggression can be a sign of many problems. First and most it's her way to address something bothering her while she cannot express it verbally. Yes, it could be UTI, depression or something else.... The fastest way is to give her a pill, but first you should try to talk to physician to see if she could be checked for it and, maybe, you can start from remedies: calming teas and oils. Diffused, rubbed into skin, swallowed - any way you can deliver it. Be ready do not see results over night. Remedies need time to make improvements.....
Just make sure it's all the best quality and safe to use that way. I usually suggest young living oils.

Thank goodness for this blog that kazzaa needs so desperately at this time in her life. I'm thinking about you and praying for each of us to have grace, understanding and new coping skills each day. Such informative, kind and loving advice. This communication is making all the difference in my caregiving life these days. Thanks to all of you. Here's hoping your 4th of July holiday is one to fondly remember!

Professional analysts by traditional or alternative practitioners because seroquel/Haldol takes your mind away then put you to sleep. But you manage what is affordable. You could test to fine an old school regular doctor that is over the age of 60,maybe one at a College Med Center. Her night terrors may be easily treated, don't freak,but dont wait.

I understand kazzaa. My MIL had a terrible combative period lasting for months. At first, I avoided meds because she became just a bit zombie-like. But in the end, medication was better than serious aggression. You can adjust dosage till it's good. Haldol and seroquel were our answer.

You may all think that I'm a fringe lunatic, but I took my mother for hypnotherapy because she would wake up in the night laughing like a lunatic and being very aggressive with me. Sometimes she would be screaming. When I would try to awaken her, she would be very angry and aggressive, which is not in her nature. The hypnotherapist did remote work for her and her demeanor no longer goes awry. She is her old loving self - still can't remember names, but that is not why I consulted the hypnotherapist. I'm taking her back to see if she can be helped in remembering. It's not paid for by most insurance and the cost is about the same as seeing a psychologist. Make sure that the hypnotheapist is certified. The one we saw was certified by the National Guild of Hypnotists.
You've got to figure that if a hypnotist can get people to bark like dogs or cluck like chickens on stage for entertainment, they can change a person's behavior. It might be worth a shot.

I think most certainly mom needs to be put on some medication to keep her calm when one of these attacks come on. For her saftey as well as the rest of the family. No one wants to have their mom live in a facility but sometimes there does become detrimental to the patient to not have professional care around the clock. For example my moms bed was lowered almost to the floor to keep her from hurting herself. At home she was constantly undressing herself. The professionals asked us for money and got jump suits that snapped down the back. It was the most stressful, exhausting and terribly sadest period that my family had every been through. Words can't do it justice. You look into your mothers eyes and she's not in there anymore. Right now you're main concern should be for the safety of the entire family. Seek the help of an Elder Care Attorney, always better to be prepared for the unknowns!

Kazzaa, it sounds like your mom needs medication. Don't know if it's UTI or just her progressing in her dementia disease. My mom became aggressive similar to your mom. This lasted for months because my dad refused to give her prescription to calm her down - because it made her just sit and stare off into space. He preferred for her to be up and moving, even if it meant she was violent.

No, you cannot reason with her. Are you able to find out what exactly is irritating her to be so aggressive? With my mom, she hated being inside the house. She wanted OUT. (sundowning) She was more aggressive in the late afternoons - when she would literally attack us. At nights, she's at the door, banging it, wanting to get out.

In the meantime, because your mom is becoming aggressive, please make it a point to watch her carefully. Look into her eyes, her facial expressions, is her hands closed fisted? These were signs of my mom when she was about to attack us. Sometimes, her face is very neutral, but her hands were clenched as she slowly walked toward us. We Ran. Then she ran after us. Inside the home, we learned to listen for her before entering the room. We had to make sure that we had an exit away from her. Because when she attacks, we didn't want to be cornered and have no way out. Lock your bedroom door at nights. Between now and her doctor's visit, you just need to be pro-active. And hide anything that might hurt her. We had to hide all the knives (for our safety.)

Sorry that your mom is becoming aggressive and that you have to deal with it until her appointment. Any way of pushing it up? Call to see if there was any last minute cancellation? {{Hugs}}