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Thank you so much Carol for responding...
Mom is amazingly cognitive...crossword puzzles, we play scrabble and Tri-omios , cards and more...she is pleasant, thankful does not complain, knows everyone's name and duty and.she loves music and good conversation especially about the area she grew up. Our family knows many in the area...most of her friends have moved on or passed.
She has a few family members (a couple aunts and sister and bro) who visit on occasion....but they do not play any board or card games. (I do)
She might be up for the move to NY where a daily or almost daily visit from myself and husband would be key....
my guilt would be in moving her away from her handicapped step sister and brother whom she helped raise...and an elder aunt who visits and from people who know the area she grew up in and our family heritage.
I am typing and thinking...more rhetorical but none-the-less concerns
After her house sells there will not be a place fur my family to stay while visiting...another puzzle piece.
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I am an only child, living in another state that is a 3 hour drive away from Mom. She needs 24 our care, wheelchair bound 7/8 of the time. On O2 and Catheterized. She is wanting to be in a nursing facility and has been moved to a wonderful one with extended family near her.
I can only get to her occasionally to visit...would love to have her in our home but know it is not possible.
Should I consider moving her to our state, away from a state she grew up in and knows very well, and where people know her ? Also ,dealing with new doctors who
do not know her nor her history ....and a nursing home filled with residents who would not be familiar with her stories and history?
RIght now I am trying to prep the house to put on the market....clean it out, visit attorneys, doctors, fill out medicaid applications...seeking advice and going to care meetings at her new 'home'...etc
caught in the middle
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That depends on the family member. Many times they fight the move since they may be leaving friends and a whole lifestyle behind. If the person is not too cognitively aware, you may be able to make it work. Either way, lots of support and understanding will be needed. Moving isn't easy for anyone, and it's harder for elders. Yet, it is easier, of course, to care for someone if they are nearby. Good luck,
Carol
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