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Your husband is getting a great job! Hurray! Your parents should be thrilled for him and you. Yes, you will be moving. This presents them with choice: move near you (after you find a new home), move near your brother, move where they would like to live (that may not be near either of you), or stay in place. It is their choice. Support them in making their choice and help them with this choice: discussing visits, help with moving, etc. Approach this as the wonderful adventure for the whole family, because this situation is exactly that.
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I agree with Taarna, just because you are moving for your husband to fulfill his dream doesn’t mean that your parents can’t follow or move elsewhere. Be enthusiastic about it, they may enjoy being in another part of our country, seeing places they might not have seen before. Present it as new places to take the kids for nearby day trips.
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This is a very tough situation. Your parents are attached to your young children- every grandparent I know loves their grandchildren and finds happiness with family and being close to family when possible. At your parents' ages, it is a huge thing to move, to leave their doctors and the friends they have just made (not easy to make new friends at that age in a new place), and security is a big issue as you age. I don't think they are being unreasonable at all- they are reacting to something they did not expect and it will take time for them to come to grips with this. I think it is wonderful that you will spend a year helping them adjust and take time to decide what they will do. Your husband will come home many weekends and on holidays so your separation is going to go by quickly. Follow your heart, continue to love them, pray if you are so inclined, and have patience with your parents. They obviously love you and you love them. They will understand as the shock wears off and reason and love take over. All the best to you.
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disgustedtoo Jan 2020
I might agree, but the fact that the mother has rejected ALL the offers made except the delay in daughter/grandkids moving sounds manipulative to me.

OP could STILL assist them in whatever they decide to do even if she moved now. It doesn't require staying there for that long! TN-PA is only about 9 hours, nothing in today's world. Staying behind for that long is only playing into mom's hands.
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Go WITH your husband and kids at the onset and dont prolong the agony of stretching this out. It will only add more problems and pressure in the long run. Make the break and let your parents decide what they want to do. No offense, but IMO you are only feeding the monster with your current plan and could possible hurt your marriage. Good luck to you
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Samsung137 Jan 2020
I'm replying to myself. I'm a parent with adult children. I want whats best for them and that also means career success. If I moved close to my children and they received an opportunity to move to fulfill dreams I would be thrilled for them. I would be sad, but I would encourage them to go and I would NEVER, EVER make them feel obligated to take care of me or me make them feel guilty. As an adult, I made an adult decision to move close to them knowing there are no guarantees in this life. I'm not helpless! Parents should be happy when children get opportunities. Bottom line!
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I think there needs to be more compassion for the grandparents than many people are showing here. They moved to TN at their daughter’s request- a move they really didn’t want to make. Now they will be left alone in a place where they never wanted to be in the first place, and away from their grandchildren whom they love very much. I understand their anger and hurt. People are saying “they can just move,” but moving is a huge, expensive, exhausting process. It’s not that easy to just up and move.

I understand that adult children have a right to their own lives and their own decisions. But I’m certain this is damn painful for the grandparents because we are in a similar situation. Our daughter moved 2000 miles from where we all lived, to go live in a warmer climate. Our grandson, who had been a daily part of our life since his birth obviously went with them. We are not overbearing, over involved grandparents. We picked him up daily after getting out of work and had him at our house until one of his parents got home. This was at their request. We had him for some amount of time each weekend at their request so they could get some things done. We bonded fiercely with him and loved our time with him. When they moved we were devastated and broken hearted. We also understand they have every right to go.

Now we are retired and considering our possibilities on where to live. We have obligations here to our very elderly parents, which complicates things. The state they went to is not someplace we’d have otherwise considered moving to. And there is no guarantee they wouldn’t move again.

Of course they have the right to do whatever they want. But please have some compassion for the grandparents. This is damn hard, and two years later we still miss our grandson terribly. Visiting is expensive (flights, hotel, rental car, etc.) and FaceTime, while nice, is not the same.
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lealonnie1 Jan 2020
I'm sorry you're so angry over the move your daughter chose to make with her family. While we can certainly have compassion for the OPs parents, we can also have compassion for the husband & the situation he's been offered here. The OP has kindly offered practically the MOON to her parents already, and they've refused her amazing generosity ie:

-we would pay for their move including the complete moving package where the moving company packs/boxes all of their items;
-I am planning on staying with my kids for an additional school year in order to help my parents prepare for a potential move to MO to be closer with my brother and his family;
-I offered paying for a furnished location in Pittsburgh for when they come to visit;
-we even offered to buy a 3rd car so when they come to visit they will have their own transportation.

The parents have refused all of her incredibly generous offers. So, while 'compassion for the parents' should be given, the OP and her family should also have the right to move on with their lives, no?
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I can tell you regret begging your parents to move to TN, but they are adults and old enough to know there are no guarantees, especially with such a young family. You don't mention they need taken care of. You do mention, twice, that you are close to your mom, and that you appreciate financial security. It's possible you appreciate feeling in control.
They've been in TN for a few years now..and have had to opportunity to make friends and become involved in their community. Have they been able to do that? Or have they been relying on you and your kids for their happiness? Have you been trying too hard to keep them happy and cared for, even when it's not quite time for you to step in?
Moves are hard for everyone, but they are also an adventure to try something new. It all depends how you look at it. And time heals a lot. If you're as close as you say you are, then the blame/anger will pass.
Your parents can stay in TN a little longer and enjoy the mild weather as they age..and you can visit back and forth. Nothing is forever! They may decide a move is what they want...but for now as their daughter, if I were you I would stay out of trying to convince them one way or the other.
best wishes.
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You persuaded them to move to be near you - so obviously they are now annoyed that you are moving away. They have uprooted from their friends and the area they knew and now you expect them to live there without you. That does not mean I think your husband should not take the job and you should not move. I think he should and you should - BUT - I think you owe it to your parents to talk to them about the type of accommodation they would like, and to move them with you to Pittsburgh OR to close to your brother (who although he doesn't plan to move, may do so in the same way your plans have been changed). You need to find the best solution for them to maintain your relationship and give them a life they would like - maybe you need to move them back to where they moved from. Look at all options and find the one that suits everyone best.
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disgustedtoo Jan 2020
She made multiple, very generous offers, all rejected. The only option her mother accepted was for her and the kids to stay in MOM'S house for another year and a half (and will likely drag that out, driving more of a wedge into this family - OP already mentioned animosity between hubs and mom!) You can lead a horse to water, but in this case the horse is refusing to even go to the water, much less drink from it! One can feel empathy, one can make amends, one can feel torn, but it really sounds like this mother is running the show, or rather circus...
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If you decide to let your husband live in a new city without you and your children for the next year, please make sure you are able to support yourself. You don't mention having to change your own job so I assume you are a full time homemaker. Spend the next year making sure you have the skills to support yourself and your children should you ever need to.

You are going to be in a very vulnerable position if you put your marriage under that much stress and don't have a Plan B for "my husband will understand."
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notrydoyoda Jan 2020
Yes, she will be vulnerable. Things could be made worse if she lives off her parent's money. My that will be hard to leave in 14 months.

Also, her husband will be vulnerable as a man by himself in the big city. If I had been him, I would have been suspicious of this and taken the children with me.
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Sometimes you feel that we might all have been better off living in a village for life - moving around is so difficult. Yes, at 72 I would be thoroughly upset if I had been ‘begged’ to move close to a daughter, who then decided to move away herself. My daughter was upset when DH and I decided to move to Alice Springs, but agreed that it was better for us than aging on an isolated farm. We are part-way through planning a house with enough bedrooms for them to come for holidays, and guess what? They are now moving to Ireland for 5 years. I’m glad that they are expecting us to come for a holiday part-way through, as well as them doing the same in the other direction.

What I would suggest is that you do your best to help your parents with something that will work for them – help to find somewhere near your new base (perhaps rented! ready for the next move), or a plan for visits (you pay from that wonderful new salary), or do the ground work for a really nice AL that will help them make new friends easily.

I hope that you and DH don’t take the approach that your own interests come first, and parents just have to suck it up. It isn’t a good outcome for a Happy Families game!
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Are your parents close to your brother in Missouri? If they get along fine and you feel that your parents will be looked after if needed and welcomed with open arms, then let them move to your brother's location. You can't expect an elderly couple to continue bouncing around with no stability. They get use to their doctors, pharmacies, hair stylists, everything and to keep uprooting them would be unfair IF they have another avenue to take. If their minds are okay, let them decide if they want to move close to your brother or what they would like to do but your husband's job is very important to him and to you too. Good Luck
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The key to your parent’s angst is the fact that YOU “talked them in to” moving in the first place. My guess is that they really didn’t want to do so, but you, and perhaps your husband, persisted and pestered them until they did. After five years, they may have finally made an adjustment to Nashville. Now you want to move to a city that is much colder and, to them, less attractive than either their former home state of New York or Nashville. I think you and your husband have, in the past, been very selfish where your parents are concerned and it’s no surprise that your mother is fed up with your husband and you as well. My sense is that you are probably overly dependent on your mother and breaking your bond with her is going to cause a lot more damage to yourself than you think. I also wonder about any job opportunity with so few applicants. Have you visited and thoroughly checked out the employer and place you’ll be moving? Are you sure Pittsburgh is the right choice for you and your husband. Do you have children that will also be uprooted?

Your parents very reluctantly moved to Nashville to be with you. Does your husband now want to get away from your parents because their presence in your life is perhaps too oppressive? Both of you need to grow up and face the responsibility of what you have done by badgering them to move near you in the first place. Move if you will; your relationship with your parents will never be the same again so consider carefully whether this job opportunity is right for your husband and will materially benefit you both financially more than keeping your family together. Somehow, I doubt it. And oh, they can move to Missouri where your brother can take them off your hands until you decide you want them back again. You sound like you think your aging parents can and should just continue to move from one place to the other whenever they become inconvenient to you and your husband’s plans. You are the one who talked them into moving. Live with what you’ve done and stay where you are.
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inkandpaper Jan 2020
Sometimes we have to make tough choices. And noone can predict the future. The OP has more responsibilitly to nuture her children than she does her parents. The kids need to be with their parents together. ANd ultimately the grandparents too should do what is best for the grandkids.
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This is a tough situation for all concerned. But the truth is that things do change and depending of what you do for a living you may be living in multiple places quite often.

In late November 2015, my Dad had a stroke, so I was traveling between my home in Las Vegas and their home in Los Angeles. They were determined not to leave Los Angeles, but it was becoming obvious to me that they could no longer be self dependent. Furthermore their home was in pretty sad state, and there was no place for me to stay with them in that home.

A month later an opportunity came up for my husband that required us to move to Puerto Rico. While my husband ended up living in PR during that year, I stayed behind and took care of my parents.

Eventually I was able to convince them to move to Vegas, so at least I could be in the same home with them while taking care of them. During all this time I was taking them around to look at AL homes, but again they steadfastly refused to make the commitment.

By the holiday season of 2016, I decided that I really needed to go and be with my husband, so I made all the arrangements for them to be cared for in my home, so that DH and I could be together for six weeks.

Low and behold..... my mother didn't like that option - instead they both agreed to come to PR with me, and go into a an AL situation.

Now we are three years later, my Dad passed away from AZ, and my Mom is on her own at the facility in PR. When we come back to Vegas for the four months each year, we bring her with us, along with a care taker who stays in our home. In PR the same caretaker takes care of her in the AL home. I think the continuity in people around her is more important than where she physically is.
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If you and/or your husband coaxed (or even suggested) them into coming to live near you, then in my opinion, you should honor that as a moral obligation, and back out of the job change...If neither of you did that, then you are free to move as I see it. May God bless you all as you deal with this very difficult situation...

Grace + Peace,

Bob
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IMHO, your husband should take this job and parents can move to Missouri, with brother and DW.
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I am sure you are torn but in the end you have to put your family first. Your mom and dad will have to adjust. This must be breaking your heart. I am so sorry. Many hugs for you.
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When my son died, my daughter had me move in with her to another city. Her house has a mother in law suite, so it was perfect. Jump forward a few years, she got married and moved to Kentucky. She is letting the bank repo the house. Me, I'm scrambling to find a place to live. My brother has a travel camper I can sleep in, which is in another state. My stuff will have to go in storage. Do what you need to do for this move. Dont expect your folks to like it. They will adjust. I'm still very upset with my daughter, and maybe always will be. This has been hard on me emotionally, physically, and financially. You and your husband have to still raise your children and plan for their's and your futures. No one will walk away with good feelings from this, so dont expect that. Help your folks move to your brother's place and get on with your lives.
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In retrospect some of my posts might seem a little rude, but are mostly fed by those who are labeling you cruel for "doing" this to your parents. You are not being cruel.

For 8 years you lived ~5 hours further away (NY vs Nashville, maybe more, depends on where in NY.) While you maybe begged and/or convinced them to move, it sounds like they wanted to be closer, so they might have moved w/out your input. Ultimately it was their decision. Life throws curveballs all the time. People change jobs for many reasons and it often requires moving. Sometimes it isn't even by choice. This should have been considered by everyone, so some of this falls back on them too.

"This is one of those jobs that, for a 30-something year old, doesn’t come up often. Great career growth and much more pay." If this change benefits everyone and makes life better, parents should be accepting/understanding the change. They should even be happy about it! They won't be around forever and having stability in your life will be good for everyone.

"My parents are extremely hurt and angry that my husband would consider leaving, uprooting the family and moving them to another state since they moved down here to TN for us." This might be an understandable reaction, but it's rather selfish. They are ONLY thinking about themselves, not what is best for you and the grandchildren. Would I be sad if my son moved further away? Sure. Would I be happy for him if it meant a better life for them? Absolutely. We can still have a relationship. None of us will wither and die as a result. Another move might be hard for them for many reasons, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

"My parents, and I to a point, are concerned they will lose their bond with their grandkids too." Why would this change their "bond?" If it's strong, it will remain. They would only be ~9 hours away if they don't move, which isn't that big of a deal. You could visit them, they could visit you. Often if need be.

They have options, including some generous ones you have offered, but have rejected them all. That colors the picture with even more selfishness on their part. The only one accepted is that you and the kids stay - that will put a strain on your marriage, the relationship between you and hubby, he and the kids and lead to more stress and anxiety. Your parents are adults, presumably in good health - it isn't like you are abandoning someone with physical or mental issues. They aren't really even that old yet. If the time comes when they need help, alternatives can be considered. You still can be "the one" who helps take care of them w/out all this hoopla.

"...I have a family & future of my own to consider." Yup. Again, they won't be around forever, less time than your own family and future. There are ways to continue a good relationship, including a move that you have offered to facilitate and pay for.

"...the relationship between my mother and husband have shifted terribly. They blame each other for one reason or another." THIS is going to damage multiple relationships. Husband agreed to the plan for you to stay longer (however begrudgingly) but mom is steadfastly refusing to consider anything. Who is being unreasonable there?

I don't think extending your stay in TN is beneficial to anyone. It will only fuel mom's desire to keep things as they are. The offers you made (excluding staying longer) are overly generous and should be presented again as the choices they have. You should move, if not right away, at least at the end of THIS school year, not next year. It is only delaying the inevitable and will make it harder if/when mom continues to refuse to consider any other option.

Healthy life and relationships TBD in a post to this post.
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disgustedtoo Jan 2020
My parents enjoyed their grandchildren without living nearby. They traveled. They went to FL for the winter. This continued well into their 80s. They had a life of their own, including keeping a good relationship with the grandkids. Friends. Other family. Activities that they enjoyed. It sounds like your mom is too wrapped up in smothering. She needs to have her OWN life and her OWN interests, beyond you and the grandkids. My former MIL would have preferred that we live with her and had constant instant access to the grandkids. She often said she LIVED for the day she became a grandmother. While it is great to have grandkids, one shouldn't LIVE for just this. My daughter chose not to have kids (MIL's daughter also had no kids, by choice.) That is often not feasible and many times not even a good idea! We lived close enough for frequent visits, but not enough in her view. Living any closer would have been suffocating for all of us!

Also keep in mind that as the kids grow older and have their own interests and activities, they will spend less time with you AND the grandparents too - is she going to demand they curtail these interests and activities too? My former MIL was so angry about the kids not visiting when SHE wanted it and threatened to cut them off from any inheritance! THAT is not a healthy relationship. I wouldn't want my grandson (or my kids) to "love" me because he/they might get inheritance when I pass on!

Personally I would revisit the other offers and present them as their choices. I would start the "move" process by spending all w/ends, school vacas and holidays with your husband, while you negotiate your own move (the sooner the better.) Moving mid-year isn't the end of the world for the kids and school. My parents moved several times, mid-year and we were older. It will be easier for the kids when they are younger, esp at the age your kids are now.

Mom is only going to dig in her heels harder if you delay this move. She is a grown woman, she'll get over it, at least to some degree. If she doesn't, that's really HER problem, not yours. Sure, you love her and have a good relationship. But, if it's that good, it WILL weather this storm. It isn't your job to provide their happiness - that comes from within. You have mentioned that their marriage isn't a good one - if you allow this to continue, you could end up repeating their relationship in your own. You have many years to look forward to in your own relationship, and should foster that. We are not living in the 50's, when life might have been simpler and multiple generations would/could live together or close.

In the end, it is your choice how you manage this. If you choose to placate mom, understand this might damage your own relationship with hubby and kids. If your relationship with hubby is good, I wouldn't jeopardize it. It could affect you and the kids for a long long time. If you stand your ground and move, either mom will choose an option and get past her anger or not. YOU can't make her happy.

As the saying goes, you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you CAN'T please all of the people all of the time.
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I think there are a lot of strange family dynamics going on:

*Why did you go through such effort to persuade your parents to move to Nashville to begin with when they seemed to be so resistant to the move? Why didn't you let them be if they didn't want to relocate. You were so persistent then, but now, hey it's no biggie to sever this close proximity.
*Why did the parents move when they were apparently happy where they were? (Note to parents: do not chase your kids around the country unless you plan on making multiple moves.)
*You're not planning on moving your kids to PA until 2021? Why? Is this a good move for your kids?
*Was the job interview/relocation a joint decision or something your husband decided to pursue on his own? I'm not picking up anything upbeat or unified about this decision. I would be curious to know more about the job and how your husband is just one of a select few to qualify. Hope the job is worth all the trouble it seems to be causing.

Sorry this post is so judgmental. It sounds like you are caught in the middle, trying to please everyone to no avail. Personally, I think the problems go deeper than a major relocation and unhappy parents.
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notrydoyoda Jan 2020
Amen and you are right, it does go much deeper than the surface issues.
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Mich,

By staying with your parents for the next year plus, you are denying your children a relationship with their father. I am sorry, but their relationship with their Dad is far more important than one with your parents.

Your decision is telling your kids that Dad is the least valuable person in your family. That it does not matter that they will not see him daily over the next 16 months.

It also shows that you do not value the presence of your husband in your life. You are choosing to spend time with your mother at the expense of your marriage. The price may be your marriage. Is that a price you are willing to pay?

I am a parent, soon to be grandparent. At the moment all my kids live within a couple hours of me, but I do not expect that them to restrict where they live based on where I live. I also would not move to where they live, should they move. I am still working, but beyond that I have a life in the community I live in. Should. my son and grand baby move away, I would miss them and try to see them at least once a year (depending on how far they moved), but I would not move myself.
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I am also curious about the whole move to TN thing. How was the subject brought up and why? What were their objections and what did you say to convince them to move?

I could understand staying until June when school gets out but after that you need to move to PA. Why are you staying an entire extra school year? Now the move will be even harder for the kids....or is that what your parents are banking on?
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You said “My parents, and I to a point, are concerned they will lose their bond with their grandkids too."

So where is the concern for your husband and his bonds with his kids?

Where is the concern for your kids and their bond with their dad?

Sorry if this sounds harsh but your husband & children’s bond with each other is far more important than their bond with their grandparents.
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elaineSC Jan 2020
Well said. Agree 100%.
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I'm under the impression, that the OP is going to pursue her already chosen direction.

Like some have posted, I see daughter/mother enmeshment and codependency all over this which means emotionally she's more married to mom than to her husband.

Using the children as emotional glue for her parent's poor marriage will lead them to be victims of Childhood Emotional Neglect for their focus will be on their grandparents' emotions instead of learning how to handle their own emotions as well as be nurtured in the process. I would get the children away from two unhappy and unhealthy adults instead of allowing them to be emotionally vacuumed. From this they will learn that their main role is life is to keep everyone happy. That's unrealistic and unfair.
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HelloImMinsu Jan 2020
100% spot on. She sounds like she needs a good therapist.
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And this is why you never move to be nearer to your children
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
There is an older couple in my neighborhood that followed their kids around. They love it here. The last job that their son took, they told him that they were no longer moving to be near them and they would keep in touch and visit but they were happy to stay here.
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Although I do appreciate most thoughtful responses on here and read each and every one of them, I do not appreciate being called names such as "idiotic." I have voluntarily put my heart on my sleeve in hopes of seeking others' input; those who have been through varied life experiences that can offer their stories as a way to help me see things with a different perspective. I guess it is quite natural that once one puts their heart on their sleeve within the public domain, and cannot possibly include every detail about a certain situation, one is then subject to negative commentary as well. So be it. I still value your insights even those I may disagree with.

There are some other reasons I would choose to stay another year with my kids that I haven't explained. But I believe I have received some good perspectives thus far to discontinue this thread and contemplate my next move. Whatever it will be, it will be for myself, my kids, my husband and my parents as well. Over time I am hopeful things will work themselves out, one way or another.

I want to seriously thank all those that took time from their busy lives just to respond to my post in such a thoughtful manner. It has been so helpful in my world which has turned upside down in a matter of a few months. Thank you for that!! It is much appreciated.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
I have not read through all of the replies but I agree that you don’t deserve to be called idiotic. I am sorry that you you hurting. Sure. everyone is entitled to their opinion but we should all be respectful of each other. So, I apologize for any lack of compassion for your feelings.

I don’t think their is a solution that will please everyone in this situation. There are different options but no matter which option is put into play, someone will be hurt and I believe there will be regrets in either situation. Am I correct? I am trying to see things from your point of view.

I feel that you are torn and wish you did not have to choose this situation because it’s emotional and an awkward position to be in. I don’t think you see either your parents or your husband as being right or wrong. I feel that you see both sides equally. I don’t feel that in itself is inherently going against your husband. It’s simply how you feel. You’re entitled to that. All of us experience certain feelings about certain situations that may never be practical but nevertheless the are what we dream of.

A part of you wants nothing more than to wholeheartedly support your husband and children, yet the other half wants to make sure that your parents are taken care of, not just physically but for you to be a part of their lives. just as you’ve always been. I understand that completely but that isn’t possible if you support your husband so it has become an unrealistic dream. You can’t have it both ways.

The question becomes how much is your husband willing to sacrifice. Also, how much are you willing to give to your parents and what example do you want to present to your children.

I do think if you go that your parents will adjust. I really believe that. I’m not saying that in order to convince you of anything. I also think your husband naturally wants his wife beside him. What man wouldn’t? Does that mean in the end that he won’t be flexible? I have no idea. I am not married to him. You are. This is going to make or break you.

By that I mean that I know couples that have been in long distance relationships and although it wasn’t ideal they made it work. I also know couples whose relationships eventually ended permanently.

I taught school with a woman who moved many states away with her two sons and her kids hated it and she moved back here to Louisiana until her children graduated high school. I thought that was odd but somehow they made it work. Another teacher stayed here while her husband worked in another state for years because she and the children simply did not want to go because her husband was unsure about the job and he told them that he would go and test the waters alone. I don’t know how either of these couples could afford all the plane tickets to visit each other but they did.

I know another couple that the woman wanted a high paying job in the medical field and her spouse said that he was not willing to leave his job and they divorced because she made up her mind to go with or without him. So, you’re not alone in this dilemma. You’re going to figure it out. It’s your choice. Yes, you felt like you needed to discuss it but the decision is yours and I wish you well no matter what you decide. Just be careful because you are taking a risk of losing your husband if you don’t stand beside him. You can’t clone yourself and be in both places at the same time.

I congratulate your husband on his ambitions. He’s doing this for all of you. It’s not just for his future but yours and your children. Let him know that you are genuinely appreciative of that. He could be a lazy bum, but he’s not. He’s a go getter!

Yes, you love your parents and grateful to them also. You want them to be satisfied but you simply can’t have both. They don’t want to move so respect that. If you choose to move, isn’t it fair for them to respect you and your husband? Of course, it is.

Sorry the message is so long.

Take care. 💗
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I don't agree with you pushing your parents to move, then down the road your hubby gets a great job offer (which is wonderful) and I understand that everyone has there own life to live, BUT your parents probably feel alittle abandoned put yourself in their shoes. They moved for you and now you might be moving from them. Money is great, but we all know that it isn't the answer to everything
My mom is in AL and I have given up a lot to take care of her, because she and dad gave up a lot for all of us kids. The world is so danm selfish anymore it pretty much makes me sick. Good luck and remember when they pass on please don't have any regrets.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
Her parents and your parents are different people. We can’t compare because we don’t know what she is going through. Each of us have to do what is right for us individually.
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We'd love to hear back from you. Let us know how things are in 14 months or anytime before then.
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Congrats on deciding to make the move. You only have one life to live, and the truth is that it sounds like your husband is in the prime of his professional life. Personally I think that any functional family would only want the best for their kids. Go forth without guilt - this too shall pass.
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