Not sure if this just a vent or a plea for help.
Some background, I will try to keep it short. *warning* I failed to keep it short!
My step-MIL lives with us and I am her primary caregiver. We bought a retirement home in NV about the same time she moved into our WA home (about 2 years ago). Our plans for moving to NV have been pushed up, so we have been packing and preparing to fly out on Friday.
She is doing everything in her power to stop this move ie: says she can't walk, making herself sick, stopped eating...... I have taken her to her Dr. and all say she is fine. I am at my whits end with the stress of the move, packing, arranging for pets to move, I don't know what to do or tell her any longer.
We (my husband & I) are the only "family" willing to care for her. She is 92, almost totally blind but until the last 2 weeks got around ok. No dementia, ate well etc, so isn't in need of NH care.
She has 2 choices, get on the plane and move to NV with us or go into a nursing home. She needs full time care with dressing, cooking, laundry, toileting, all areas of daily living. I quit working when she moved in and have been providing all her care except the 2 hours in the morning a caregiver comes in to help bath and dress her. She has LTC insurance that covers that expense.
How can I help make this transition easier for all of us? I have set up her suite in NV to be as close to the one she has here, have packed and made room for all the things she thinks are necessary, have tried to accommodate and be sensitive to her anxiety, but I am about to loose it!
She is mad/upset about her son (not my husband) not caring that we are moving her out of state. He see her maybe once per year if I call daily to harass him, never calls her unless he needs $$$ and has told me "I hate her" .
Her granddaughter has told her she would move her to the city she lives in, but that she would have to live in a nursing home as granddaughter is unwilling to care for her in her home.