Mom's 90, living 1500 miles away with dementia mid-stage. How do we move her to memory care near us?

That is a problem. You can't force someone to go across country if they don't want to. Often the best we can do is try to keep them positive about the trip. Does she like flying? Will she be okay on the plane? If she likes flying, the trip can be rewarding.

Mid-stage dementia can be unpredictable. I hope someone will have some better advice for you. The only advice I can think of is to try to keep it positive, try to make it fun, and play things by ear. A sedative may also help to help keep her from becoming agitated.

Please let us know how it goes. I don't envy you this task. I hope it goes smoothly.

Thanks, moving is a traumatic experience for any of us, much less a mid-stage dementia patient. Keeping her positive is a key & a challenge. She was one of the very first flight stewardess in the 40's! But she has not flown in 10 years.
Already got the script for the sedative.
Its gonna be a crap shoot on the day we actually move on who she is that day.
So, i go back & forth on wether or not one can actually force someone on a plane.
I'm in agreement that you cannot push someone to do something they dont want to do. But when they have a disease that really destroys their memory & their thought process, thats where I'm struggling.
wish us luck

I too wish you all much luck in this move. As you said, you never know who Mom is going to be on that day and how much pressure she is feeling. I can tell you to begin everything early because they cannot be RUSHED. One sure way of making them angry and not willing to cooperate is to be in a hurry. When catching a flight we always seem to be in a hurry, so watch this segment of the trip. You should probably contact the airline and let them know that you are moving your parent who has dementia and you don't know how their behavior may be that day and is it possible to sit you close to the front to make it easier to get on and off. I think with the problems that have occurred since 911 it may be better to inform them ahead of time and ask for assistance or at least make them aware of what type of temperament they may possibly be dealing with and not assume she is drunk or on drugs and kick you off the flight.

I would try to keep everything light and upbeat. If you know of ANYTHING that makes her happy then use it. Looking at pictures or listening to music or chatting about who she is going to see when you arrive, just keep it positive.

Personally I would resort to drugs if I had to, just to keep her calm but beware that if she is not use to these drugs it may make her confused and it could actually make her worse rather than better. It all a real unknown since their temperament can change so rapidly.

I hope you are not having to deal with bringing a bunch of stuff with you as far as bags and boxes because this may cause problems with moving through crowds and waiting to pick them up. It is better to just make the trip as fast as possible and get where you need to be rather than worrying about all the extraneous stuff.

My heart really does go out to you and I will be praying for you that this goes so well you cannot even believe it....as in "a piece of cake!"

Thanks for the responses. They help. You are spot on with the airport rush! Had not thought of that. We will be focused on getting her to the first plane, w/o much but a suitcase for her.
We will rent a car, so will be researching the easiest/quickest way to do that..
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Again correct about the sedative, doing research, but everyone is different in their reaction. Thinking of doing a test trail, but just thinking about it.

The airlines, we are looking at Southwest, seem to be confident that they can make accommodations on the spot. In other words they will do what they can but dementia is out of their realm. They, in conversations, feel her being in a wheelchair will be enough special treatment. At this point I can only hope for the best & do what I do worst which is have the "No Worries Man" attitude!
More preparatory phone calls today & buying tickets.

One of the ?'s that we are dealing with is do we spend more or less time with her prior to the move. IF its too soon after we arrive then not will we be wiped, but she may not be ready, But she gets so excited to see us she gets so tired after a few days she cant get out of bed.
Who knew this was coming on the eve of our retirement?

Like it "piece of cake" THAT will be our focus
Thanks again

Thanks again