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She is 87, and has been at her community based residential facility place A for one year and I found a better faciltiy. Place A is like being at a circus all of the time, and Place B is quiet and home like. Place A has end of life commitment but there are a lot of residents there in wheelchairs and jerry chairs that are yelling out all of the time. This is very upsetting to both my mom and the family and feels like a nursing home. Mom is in the early to mid stage of dementia. They only people mom has bonded with at Place A has been the caregivers and they are so busy with all of the high need residents that mom has been in same clothes for 4 days straight and they don't put on her compression stockings.

Mom's health is stable: AFIB under control, eyesight is going, dental under control, hearing not a problem, knee replacement over 18 months ago and great recovery. Her physical health is well monitored and all visits are current. She is just starting to forget family members.

The pros for staying are obvious: less disruption to mom and she has already put in 12 months of her 24 month commitment. (In Wisconsin all CBRFs ask for a 2 year verbal financial commitment before taking a new resident.) We have the funds to start over for another 24 months - but it will be really tight and we will have to give up some luxuries (phone, weekly beauty shop trips)

The question really is: Do the pros outweigh the disruption to mom's life?

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Elderly residents do not get "used" to facility. If she already has dementia, the new facility will be better considering the care and quality of life offered, while the old one soon will be unfamiliar too, if she is starting to forget family members. The most stress comes from not being cared properly. And the best comfort comes from attentive caregivers.
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I moved my mom from one assisted living facility to another last spring. She had been at the first one for almost two years, and as her dementia progressed, I felt that the staff at A was not making much of an effort to get her out of her apartment and involved in activities. She also was wearing the same clothes for several days, even though the staff was supposed to help her dress and undress each day. The move was a little disorienting for her, but by the end of the second week she did not even remember moving, or having lived in the previous facility. I'm not sure what stage she is in, but she can still dress herself (the staff helps her select clothing each day), remembers to go to meals, knows family members and can use her phone. She does not remember going to activities or visits from family. The move was the best thing for mom. I wish I had moved her sooner.

I suggest you talk to the administrator at your mom's current facility, explain that it doesn't seem to be a good fit for her and see if you can work something out. If you mention your concerns about clothing, etc, they may be willing to adjust the fee. Even if they won't, your mom will be happier in a better facility.
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In the same clothes for four days and not doing prescribed medical procedure? Can you get the ombudsmen involved? I would try to get an adjudication to absolve you of the need to another 24 month commitment to a different facility if facility A isn't providing the care that you're paying for.
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Not putting on compression hose while sitting for long periods of time is cause for filing a report with your state's licensing agency. Then move your mom. At this point in time the less chaos the better.
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Thank you to all who responded. I knew that this site would be the best place to go for advice and help. I will be moving my mom as soon as I fill out the paperwork. It is true, my mom won't remember the move after a few weeks and the new place will become her home. Thanks for all of your help.
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