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I'm at a loss of what to get my mom for Mother's Day. She has dementia and probably won't use what I get her or even remember it's from me. Any ideas?

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Good thing...Bad thing. She will not know Mothers day from any other day, But truthfully shouldn't EVERY day be Mother's day, Father's day, Grandparent's day, Children's day...and so on.
My Mom died when I was pretty young and every day I wish she were here, my Dad died a few years after she did and again every day I wish they could both see me/know me as an adult. So to have 1 "special" day is nice but to treat them the way you would on their 'special" day every day is more of an honor.
Spend time with Mom, spend time with Dad and enjoy the moments you have while you have them.
Bring Mom a smile, hold hands, give her a hug, a kiss and a thank you.
Even if she was not the greatest Mom YOU have learned something from her. You either learned to be like her or how to try to avoid the pitfalls. YOU learned to be loving and caring or you learned how not to be mean, spiteful, needy and vindictive. Take these lessons and pass them on.
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gdaughter May 4, 2019
You are a gem. But I have to say as well, that some of us are working, frazzled, exhausted from all the details and responsibilities...and it becomes a challenge to put forth much more effort than on typical day/week. Not that I'm sure many of us don't try.
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Agingparents3, one year I bought my Mom one of those super large Mother's Day cards, they are usually 1 foot by 2 feet. She got the biggest kick out of that. The card could be set anywhere in her room and she could still see it ;)
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A colorful bouquet of fresh cut flowers. They liven up a room, and have a nice scent. They can also be thrown out after being enjoyed, and don't add to the clutter.
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I struggled with this when my mom's vascular dementia started worsening. Holidays are meaningless to her now, but I don't like to skip them. Instead of buying her something now, I take her out for a long drive and we have lunch and just spend time together. I spend time with her all the time, but I try to make this day especially about making memories - really memories for myself.
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anonymous882484 May 1, 2019
I know what you mean I feel like I'm doing holidays for my memories and not for hers. I love your idea and all of the others as well and thank you!
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My mom is almost 90 and still lives at home. She doesn’t want stuff and is allergic to flowers. I live over 1000 miles away from her so... The last few years I have had things done at her home to help her. I had a toilet replaced. The garage door opener fixed. Painted her bathroom when I visited, etc. I was the driving force at getting her some in home assistance a few hours a week. She has someone come in for four hours once a week to do light cleaning, cooking, shopping, she gets her hair washed and her toenails done. She also gets some companionship out of it and it gives. My sister a break.
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Reply to Purz4Me
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I agree with one of the other posters. Yeah, I am sure she does wear the same clothes every day. That's quite common.

This is what I bring to my 91 year old mother.

Really soft nightgowns, pajamas or bathrobes (bathrobes with snaps or zipper, and not too long), in the colors she likes. She may not seem to care, and resist at first, but I bet you will be surprised when she starts wearing them.

Same for just short or long sleeved tops, in the colors she likes. Elderly people especially with dementia tend to wear the same clothing day after day. But, they also get those clothes stained and they don't see the stains. Every 3-4 months, I bring my 91 year old mother a couple of black or white or black/white striped long sleeved cotton hip length tops......all cotton, or maybe 80% cotton and 20% polyester, just to make sure she has what she wants; and she always wears them. And, then I can get rid of the ones that have stains that cannot be removed.

Also, pull up pants. You may need to get them shortened but you can get all cotton or almost all cotton in black or navy usually at Walmart.
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Jennett419 May 4, 2019
I happened to just be reading thru here - I'm an elder not yet needing care but reading to learn what may lie ahead. I loved all your suggestions for your Mom. This aging thing creeps up on one and you sound like you really understand it.
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My Mom has been in MC for 4 years now. One of the things I've given her that she really likes is a clock that's basically made for dementia patients. It gives the day of the week, date and time. Just google clocks for dementia patients and it'll pull quite a few.
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Madtoe May 4, 2019
My parents did, too!
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I have had the same problem! My mother has had everything and wants nothing. BUT she love Shrimp Cocktail and will suck it down like a Dyson Vacuum. SO I now just get her her favorite food:)
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gdaughter May 4, 2019
In my mom's case that would be a case of olives LOL. Or pickles. Or potato chips.
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My Mom is 91, and in dementia care in advanced stage. The CVS in town has a sock rack that carries themed socks for the different holidays and seasons. I keep her clothes etc. all year as she needs and anything else that comes up. Anyway, I picked up several pairs at Halloween, with pumpkins, black cats etc. and they were such a big with her that I've continued as the holidays roll around. She loves the colors and pictures and helps her a little identifying what time of the year it is. Kind of like a walking calender. One other thing I found was small stuffed cats. She always adored her cats over the years and terribly misses them and their love and company. I've given her few small stuffed ones that she adores. In her altered reality this was a perfect solution. Hope this helps you. We are all on a journey with no road map and not enough Kleenex. Best wishes to all of you. Happy Mothers Day to those of us who are now the ' mothers ' to our moms.
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Mom got sun catchers for her last Mother’s Day. She loved the bright colors. And her beefcake fireman calendar. THAT was her favorite!
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