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She just had another UTI. She uses pads a lot too. I have been saying "wish we had a beday, you know the water spray toilet" but we don't and I'm not sure that would even do the trick.

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Hi, I'm dealing with the same thing. Multiple UTI's, toilet paper in the panties for bowel leaks. Mom is 95 and thankfully still 'somewhat' mentally capable. But the hygiene leaves a lot to be desired :( This is what we're trying this week with a bit of success; The new bowel leakage pads called Butterfly. I didn't think she would understand how to use them but she said, "They work!" So we'll see. Also, there are toilet seat adapters that the hospital sends home with people after hip surgery that sit a little higher over your own toilet. I am fortunate that our shower is just barely big enough to set it up in there and she can use the hand sprayer part of the shower to wash . I try to find humor where I can otherwise I'll lose my mind, so I'm calling this setup my "ghetto bidet". Your comment about wishing you had a bidet made me think this might help you. Also, sometimes they just forget. An actual sign next to the toilet where they can't miss it.. WIPE FRONT TO BACK, and a reminder or little talk every few days about UTIs and how to prevent them might help. I think the bowel leakage is a huge problem. If there is enough matter in the leak the ghetto bidet after each leak is the only way I can think to really clean aside from baby wipes. Good luck, please know you're not alone
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We had a bidet... That is what my in laws used forever. We had it turned off, and taken away later. It was a nightmare. Used as a sink, even to rinse clothes etc... We bought the bathroom cloths that are wet to wipe. Better then nothing.
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You can buy a bidet toilet seat. It is easy to install in place of your regular toilet seat, and they come in all prices. I've had two of them for years, and I love them.
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There are wipes in two sizes for adults. The small ones are in the toilet paper aisle, and the large ones are next to the Depends. Still, front to back wiping with whatever is important. Even with good hygiene, UTIs are common in elderly women. Cranberry caps work for me. Regular glasses of the juice should work as well. Get the unsweetened kind and dilute and flavor to taste.
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I finally started going into the bathroom every time my Mom did. Eventually she didn't even understand what I meant so I just bought wet wipes and started wiping for her every time she goes. Not pleasant but neither are UTI's. Wish I had a better answer because I don't like this one
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I have just the thing for you! I bought this plastic "bidet" from I believe Carol Wright (catalogue) which has a bulb at the end to hold water, then a curved funnel about twelve inches long. It cleans where someone would have trouble cleaning! Merry Christmas!
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Would a 95 year old lady likely use a bidet? If she can't remember to wipe correctly, how would she learn a new way to clean? Is she able to handle other areas of her hygiene, like brushing teeth, bathing, etc.?
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Is it a matter of not remembering, not wanting to or not being able to? Very different problems with very different solutions. Not remembering or not wanting to are harder to deal with. A bidet or toilet aid would help if the issue is not being able to reach.
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I had the bidet that fits under the regular toilet seat installed and a tubing runs to a water supply line on the other side of the shower. I had a rotator cuff repair done on my right side and need one on my left so this was installed last year for about $60 and works great most of the time. If you have one installed by a plumber, remember to turn the shower on for a few minutes to get the hot water running so the water coming out of the bidet will be warm. It has a pad on the side to dial the flow of water and a nozzle below the toilet rim and it aims up to your backside. It still sprays a lot of water so that paper is needed or your underwear/pjs will get wet but I think it will help with the UTI's. If you take your mother to the bathroom, as soon as she sits down, turn the water on and let it run as she is emptying her bowels. It will stay cleaner if you do it at the same time rather than after she's finished. Using the wipes will get anything left behind. It isn't as gross as just wiping her when she's finished. As least she feels clean with all the water spraying on her. If she is mentally capable enough to do this on her own, she can move her body toward the back and the spray can get the front area clean and there will be less chance of a UTI later. Using her pads will help absorb the wetness as well. Cleaning someone is much easier when there is just water to wipe up instead of anything else. Good luck with getting one installed soon. You'll love it once you do.
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There is a toilet seat all in one that washes and drys! I am soon on my way to purchase this for dad! Wonderful invention! Good luck! (At least it's your mom and not dad! How embarrasing to help your dad to the toilet!) (Home depot has them)
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Sorry to ask the obvious, but is she physically able? I've been wiping my mom for the past two years. It is what it is but she's never had a uti or an itchy or smelly backside. Is someone available, an aide, etc to do this for her?
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I thought of something else regarding your mom and her problem. Have you actually determined that it's the wiping that is causing the problem? Sometimes seniors get bowel incontinence. Sometimes only a little stool comes out and stays on their body. It may appear they are not wiping, when it fact it's leakage. Just a thought. I'd check for a few days to confirm exactly what;s going on in that area.
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Mom now uses the pre-moistened wipes. The style at the drugstore [cvs] for toddlers works best. It's not as large - easier to handle and more affordable than the adult wipes.

Most importantly ...i've learned that NO wipes are disposable regardless of the labeling on the package. They must be tossed in a waste basket. They will, and do, plug up the plumbing.

We just spent over $12,000 for raw sewage backup in the basement [the flood wasn't because of wipes, but by the city's sewage problem: the city took no responsibility for the flood nor costs to remedy the problem]. The plumber who snaked the city's sewer/drains accessing the house, and the remediation/ renovation companies all told us to NOT put any so-called "flushable wipes" down the toilet. They truly do not dissolve and will stop up the drains. One ended up in the washing machine, and to my astonishment - it made it through the wash cycle, in tact. Cleaner :) , but in tact.

PS: the toddler wipes don't sting like the ones for adults. Some are labeled 'sensitive' or 'with aloe'. We've found that "Butt Aid" or "Butt Paste" for babies [available at the same drugstore or more $ at med supply stores] really helps with bed sore or the acidic burns of uric acid: It's not greasy either. A & D ointment helps for blistering sores.

Other than that, we also use pads or liners [Tena/Poise or Always Discreet]. To help Mom to remember to use the wipes and to dispose of them ~not in the toilet~ , i bought a small waste basket/pail with the swing-tip dome lid for the bathroom. i've got a plastic bag liner inside the pail [and a Dollar Store air freshener beneath the liner]. She knows it's the "special place" to toss the wipes and even uses it for tissues/kleenex as well. Initially, i had taped the label of the empty pack to the bucket to designate that it's for used wipes or tissues. She likes using the swing lid! It'd be great if it were musical :-) Holy-Day blessings, everyone!
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bidetkings website, I think.
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What you need is one of those sprayers. An alternative for this is to shop online for a bidet. The cheapest one would be a non-electric one that you can carry with you in your purse. You fill them with water and you can spray off while you're sitting on the toilet. These are very useful after a BM. Using one will definitely cut down on UTIs caused by fecal matter spreading the vagina. Just search Google shopping to find the right one for you. I found that most of them require a waterline hook up, but you can find portable ones for travel
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My husband has had dried stool and the caregiver has not gotten him clean. Partially from resistance to being clean by my husband (modesty yet) . When I discovered this I had ordered from a magazine a peribottle that has a long nozzle that you can direct the soapy water to wash the areas hard to reach. We both find it helpful in keeping him clean and he does not understand what we are doing. I ordered 2, one for each bathroom. Can have some water spillage but it is worth it having him clean. In the magazine or online was called personnel bidet. I felt like this was better than the bidet in toilet for us. He also is fighting me getting into the shower so sponge bathing is the normal.
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Without going into detail, Mom can no longer do it. So, I do it. I have used panty liners on her pull up. Saves on the pants. Also, I use Love babywipes. They are bigger and thicker than say the Cottenel. I buy them in a economy pkg. No, don't like doing it but like its been said better than a UTI.
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One option is to get the addition to the toilet that sprays the butt of the person, since she apparently is no longer doing it. My mother stunk from this issue, but she deceased before I could obtain the device.
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SHE should NEVER BE WIPING FROM THE BACK. THE FRONT TO THE BACK.

THATIS WHAT CAUSES UTI'S IF SHE IS NOT Wiping the back at al then that is another situation. Possible she needs help.

Very common.
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I (possibly wrongly) assumed she wasn't poop (sorry for bluntness) at all.
Possible good catch Live!!
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Learn how to properky toilet an adult. It is my most unhappy chore, but I have adapted. I don't gag any more. On the other hand, we are now doing home hospice, so as you can imagine, I am getting some help!
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Properly, not properky. Argh.
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I'm so grateful for these posts! I read one that specifically gave the name and price for attachable bidets to your existing toilets. I looked on Amazon and found lots of them. And they're affordable. Luxe Bidet...Blue Bidet...bidet attachment.. Everything from hand bottles to full toilet attachable with warm water, self cleaning, you name it.
My mother isn't far enough into the dementia yet that she would let me anywhere near her in the bathroom, but I think she could use one of these AND get instruction while sitting on the toilet but not exposing her rear to me. And by the time she's less capable it will be familiar. Now if I could just stop standing outside the bathroom and insisting she wash her hands before heading off to the kitchen :-/ Reminders, signs, etc don't work. She gets angry at the enforced hand wash police but the poo under the fingernails I just can't cope with. I have hope for this new bidet thing and if anyone has ideas on hand washing that I haven't thought of,(lovely soaps, foamy soaps, comfy towels, reminders, signs, bacteria education, etc, etc) please share! Thanks
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UTIs are not always caused by that kind of bacteria. Some probably are but are some are only caused by prolonged dehydration. I should know because I only had one in my life that was caused by dehydration. Not all UTIs are caused by fecal matter. Some probably are, but some are definitely not. However, in your case you definitely need some form of a sprayer that helps your mom hygienically. Handheld sprayers and spraying toilet seats are very nice, but just remember, they all require waterline installation.
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The plastic bidet attachement from Mercola, Amazon, etc, just screws on to the water line where it comes up behind the toilet. It fits right under the seat, and I don't even think I had to move the seat to attach it. What I did not like about it is the water is COLD in the winter. The only time I found it comfortable was during the summer when the pipes on the outside of the house were warmed in the sun. It was not easy to use by any means, and if you were not motivated to use it, you would not. I uninstalled mine after 6 mos, and I found a lot of fecal contamination on it even though I clean my toilet well every week. I don't recommend them for old folks, only us young ones who want to try something new.

I liked the idea of having a hand sprayer in the shower the best. Could you simply use a very long line so it reaches the toilet area from the shower?
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I meant to say maybe she just isn't wiping the poop anymore!
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Stressed:I know, right! Poop under the nails is SUPER DISGUSTING!
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Not only disgusting, dangerous if she ends up eating it
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If it does get on her hands, make sure she thoroughly washes her hands so that she doesn't spread it around especially not to her food or anything else that goes in her mouth.
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Wannek: Oh, yuk! And also elders have mainly lost their olfactory sense so they don't even know they're injesting poop! SUPER DISGUSTING! Buy a nail brush and put your foot down about her using it!
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