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She has recalled conversations with my daughter from a day ago, and seems to remember things that she seemed to forget, like what the doctor told her a week ago. It makes me wonder what's going on? She's trying to make me think I'm the one who needs to go to the neurologist.

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What a relief to read all the comments on this subject! I thought i was loosing my mind. I experience so much of this almost daily taking care of my 92 yr old mom. She says things that makes me feel that im the one with problems. Ive known for yrs that she has a hearing problem but refused to wear the hearing aid (1 at that time). So after 1 1/2 yrs of trying to tolerate the tv volume up to 85, i thought maybe she would be more accepting of her deafness if she heard it from a dr. So i took her her for a hearing test. Sure enough..moderate to sever hearing loss, both ears. She told the dr that she wouldnt wear the hearing aids if bought because she didnt feel she had a problem and that she felt I was the one with the problem.
Things like this happen often. In her world, all is fine. Shes quick to blame me whenever she can. And I understand her need to try to hold on to her dignity and independence as much has already been taken from her. Caregiving is so hard. I feel i loose a piece of myself everyday. Im grateful for this site, at least i know im not alone in dealing with these issues.
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People with dementia can have periods of lucidity. Alzheimer's takes so much from the person and from their friends and family that I like to think of these temporary periods as a gift. They're amazing to behold but unfortunately probably temporary.
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Oh, I agree. There were days that I would actually wonder if it was me or the doctor who was getting it wrong, because my loved one was talking normal, acting normal.....but, then she would forget how to turn on the tv or even where she attended high school. Suddenly, it would be a bad day in which she could not care for herself.

Even at two years, she still fluctuates with the severity, but the overall progression continues.
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My husband goes for days at a time that I almost forget there is a problem and then something will cause him confusion and we will sink right back into the dementia. He seems to be able to still hold it together well in front of his children which the doctor said he would do for a while. This is causing me problems because they don't see there is an issue other than him being a little forgetful. Of course, if they bothered to spend more time with him, it would be obvious.
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This would happen to my husband also. There were times I would second guess myself as to what his abilities really were. I knew better but still questioned myself. I think it really just gave me false hope. What I did start doing was keep a SHORT journal. I say short because there is not enough time to track everything they are doing. I started to watch the duration of good verses bad days. It started where there were more good days between his bad spells. Things have changed and now I look forward to the good day, when it comes. The Dr's have said no 2 people are the same but this support group has shown me their is a lot of similarities and patterns they all follow. I have learned so much from this group and their answers. What saves me mentally is that I am raising a child and it is a very unappreciated job. Good luck and know there is a whole support system out there.
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I used to think my demented spouse was doing things "on purpose" too. What do we do with these feelings? We feel used, unappreciated, sometimes scorned. We're tired of being ever watchful, caring, shopping, cooking, cleaning up, finding "lost" items.
My husband was socially so adept even the doctors thought he was fine. He told them he could look up the date in the NYTimes. He didn't have to remember it.
He complained about me, that I was too controlling. I did feel as if I were losing my mind.
It is all part of this terrible illness and it's why I wrote the book for caregivers. The name of the book is my user name. Find it on amazon. You will feel supported.
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Thank you all. This site needs a way to give a group hug! This has helped me so much, just knowing I'm not alone on this trip. God bless you all.
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Yes this is very common. My mom has dementia for quite a while now and has difficulty processing date, time, place and people; even people close to her. Then once in a while will say something totally lucid in which I think "wow I cant believe she said that. That's pretty good for her". Then shortly thereafter she'd retreat into her "world" again. Happens a lot. Hope this helps you.
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I agree with most of the posts. Role reversal is hard. My Mom recovered a lot from 3 surgeries over the last year. Takes meds for dementia & has seen the nuerologist of which she says no one diagnosed her with dementia.Just asked us to reschedule another appt. in couple months. But even though I am not there everyday, her companions/caregivers keep a notebook with details. She doesn't look to see what they write. Also I talk to them on the phone & in person & she definately has bad days, hours that are confusing & distorted. I do feel like I'm the crazy one. She tells me you just don't know or understand. When I try to get her to be specific, she can't so she clams up. She thinks in her world in her mind she is safe but that is distorted. Her caregivers are terrified that she is going to fall because the PT & DR have deamed her a fall risk. So I just had her re-evaluated by the Home Health PT guy & he agrees that she has regressed & could qualify for some balance & strenghtening training. But with dementia it's cruel & she does well I think for her age & condition & as long as the PT person is working with her she is good. It's when she makes up stuff in her mind & is determined to be right & in control. Ya'll have a great holiday.
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I recently requested a psych consult during my husband's hospital stay because of the dementia that presents with episodes of delusional paranoia. The doctor said it seems those who have higher educations or have worked in complicated fields seem to be able to mask their symptoms to the outside much easier than others. My husband is an engineer so I guess this holds true.
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