My mother's had months of confusion and inability to plan, but now has had several days of seemingly clear days, is this normal?

People with dementia can have periods of lucidity. Alzheimer's takes so much from the person and from their friends and family that I like to think of these temporary periods as a gift. They're amazing to behold but unfortunately probably temporary.

Oh, I agree. There were days that I would actually wonder if it was me or the doctor who was getting it wrong, because my loved one was talking normal, acting normal.....but, then she would forget how to turn on the tv or even where she attended high school. Suddenly, it would be a bad day in which she could not care for herself.

Even at two years, she still fluctuates with the severity, but the overall progression continues.

My husband goes for days at a time that I almost forget there is a problem and then something will cause him confusion and we will sink right back into the dementia. He seems to be able to still hold it together well in front of his children which the doctor said he would do for a while. This is causing me problems because they don't see there is an issue other than him being a little forgetful. Of course, if they bothered to spend more time with him, it would be obvious.

I used to think my demented spouse was doing things "on purpose" too. What do we do with these feelings? We feel used, unappreciated, sometimes scorned. We're tired of being ever watchful, caring, shopping, cooking, cleaning up, finding "lost" items.
My husband was socially so adept even the doctors thought he was fine. He told them he could look up the date in the NYTimes. He didn't have to remember it.
He complained about me, that I was too controlling. I did feel as if I were losing my mind.
It is all part of this terrible illness and it's why I wrote the book for caregivers. The name of the book is my user name. Find it on amazon. You will feel supported.

What a relief to read all the comments on this subject! I thought i was loosing my mind. I experience so much of this almost daily taking care of my 92 yr old mom. She says things that makes me feel that im the one with problems. Ive known for yrs that she has a hearing problem but refused to wear the hearing aid (1 at that time). So after 1 1/2 yrs of trying to tolerate the tv volume up to 85, i thought maybe she would be more accepting of her deafness if she heard it from a dr. So i took her her for a hearing test. Sure enough..moderate to sever hearing loss, both ears. She told the dr that she wouldnt wear the hearing aids if bought because she didnt feel she had a problem and that she felt I was the one with the problem.
Things like this happen often. In her world, all is fine. Shes quick to blame me whenever she can. And I understand her need to try to hold on to her dignity and independence as much has already been taken from her. Caregiving is so hard. I feel i loose a piece of myself everyday. Im grateful for this site, at least i know im not alone in dealing with these issues.

This would happen to my husband also. There were times I would second guess myself as to what his abilities really were. I knew better but still questioned myself. I think it really just gave me false hope. What I did start doing was keep a SHORT journal. I say short because there is not enough time to track everything they are doing. I started to watch the duration of good verses bad days. It started where there were more good days between his bad spells. Things have changed and now I look forward to the good day, when it comes. The Dr's have said no 2 people are the same but this support group has shown me their is a lot of similarities and patterns they all follow. I have learned so much from this group and their answers. What saves me mentally is that I am raising a child and it is a very unappreciated job. Good luck and know there is a whole support system out there.

Thank you all. This site needs a way to give a group hug! This has helped me so much, just knowing I'm not alone on this trip. God bless you all.

Yes this is very common. My mom has dementia for quite a while now and has difficulty processing date, time, place and people; even people close to her. Then once in a while will say something totally lucid in which I think "wow I cant believe she said that. That's pretty good for her". Then shortly thereafter she'd retreat into her "world" again. Happens a lot. Hope this helps you.

I agree with most of the posts. Role reversal is hard. My Mom recovered a lot from 3 surgeries over the last year. Takes meds for dementia & has seen the nuerologist of which she says no one diagnosed her with dementia.Just asked us to reschedule another appt. in couple months. But even though I am not there everyday, her companions/caregivers keep a notebook with details. She doesn't look to see what they write. Also I talk to them on the phone & in person & she definately has bad days, hours that are confusing & distorted. I do feel like I'm the crazy one. She tells me you just don't know or understand. When I try to get her to be specific, she can't so she clams up. She thinks in her world in her mind she is safe but that is distorted. Her caregivers are terrified that she is going to fall because the PT & DR have deamed her a fall risk. So I just had her re-evaluated by the Home Health PT guy & he agrees that she has regressed & could qualify for some balance & strenghtening training. But with dementia it's cruel & she does well I think for her age & condition & as long as the PT person is working with her she is good. It's when she makes up stuff in her mind & is determined to be right & in control. Ya'll have a great holiday.

I recently requested a psych consult during my husband's hospital stay because of the dementia that presents with episodes of delusional paranoia. The doctor said it seems those who have higher educations or have worked in complicated fields seem to be able to mask their symptoms to the outside much easier than others. My husband is an engineer so I guess this holds true.

Wow! Good answers. My mom seems confused more lately. Stroke 3 years ago caused dementia. She is in total denial in assisted living but I am spending more on private duty aids. She goes in and out sometimes she is so confused she thinks her keys are her cell phone, glasses her wallet, on and on. She won't wear her alarm button, and screams at me for suggesting she needs a hearing aid. I am getting quite frustrated and angry.

This is very, very common. It happened with my mother all the time during the last two years of her life. Several days of complete lucidity followed by days where she couldn't even remember who I was. You're not going crazy, just enjoy the lucid moments when you can get them.

Wow, as been said many times, thank God for this site. I can relate to many of the posts. My mom will be 91 very soon and has been diagnosed with dementia by a neurologist. As so many of you I feel like I am loosing my mind or second guessing myself. The doctor strongly advised against mom living on her own and reminded her that a year ago she thought it best if she went to live with me and my husband, she admittedly refused. Now a year later and the progression worsening the doctor told her it is not safe for her to live on her own, again she refused telling the doctor she will let me know when she is ready because right now she feels fine, pays all her bills (not true) Etc. Etc. The doctor said to me JUST DO IT. My mom became very agitated saying she knows what she is doing.
We had a camera put in her kitchen to watch what she is doing around the stove etc. Wow what an eye opener, we watched a small pot of water boil way almost an hour on a low flame until it was dry, she just put more water in the pot. At night once she is dressed for bed she goes in and out of the kitchen checking the knobs on the stove, the kitchen facet, opening and closing the refrigerator and lifting a slat in the blinds to look out to the street and this process goes on for almost two hours. I was exhausted watching this compulsive behavior. My mom is coming to live with my husband and I within two weeks, she thinks she is coming for a week's vacation and she is not happy said its to long away from home.

Along this same line, when my mother denies that ANYTHING is wrong, that she makes all her appointments (false), pays her bills (late), etc., etc., Should Iet her know that one her doctor's office called to let me know she had called them 7 times about an appointments she missed. Others have shown me write-ups that show her missing or cancelling many appointments. And should I let the neurologist see my notes ahead of time, or take the "evidence" with me? Thanks again for your help.

Hi Wondergirl, hugs right back at you. Yes compile your notes into one report with bullet points that you want the neurologist to see ahead of time. Call the office and advise that you will hand the receptionist/ nurse an envelope marked confidential that you want the doctor to read before your mom is called in, that will help a lot

Well, here it is, June 11, and Mom hasn't reverted back to the confusion. Her doctor had noticed that her thyroid numbers were high, and took her off of levothyroxine and had her rechecked. The numbers were normal! She had taken thyroid meds all her life. I googled side effects of too much levothyroxine and, found, among others, confusion and disorientation. She seems to be improving! We have been having real conversations, without repetition (over and over). Other family members have noticed this change. Are we hoping for too much!?

Hope for the best and plan for the worst. I truly hope "the best" is what you get!

Why was your mom put on levothyroxine in the first place? My mom was recently diagnosed with multiple nodules one or two very large, and a mass in the ismiss which connects both thyroid lobes. She is not on medication yet but as I said before short term memory is bad and confused much of the time. Was your mom diagnosed with dimentia if so then that accounts for the confusion, it's part of the disease. Best wishes and lots of hugs and patience. I'm trying, mom moved in Friday but thinks she is on a week's vacation. I'm dreading her reaction when and if reality sets in.

Butterfly4: My mother had been on levothyroxine for low thyroid for nearly all her life. I did some research and found that as people age, their body chemistry may change and they may need less medication in some cases. Her thyroid numbers were discovered as a result of a 6-month checkup. My mom has been diagnosed with possible dementia; we're going to the neurologist this week and hope to find out what's going on. Her clarity seems to be better and better, and I thought those periods were only for a few days or so.. This has gone on for over a month, now. Thank you for your comment. Hugs to you. I hope your mother is able to make the transition without too much trauma, and drama.

Well, here I am again. Mom has reverted to calling me several times a day, and repeating the whole conversation. I'm beginning to thing that the past couple of months were a fluke.... We're going back to the PC on Monday for a consult, request for new blood tests..... meanwhile I've got a swollen index finger that's spreading into the joint on my hand.... sigh. thanks for the opportunity to vent, again.

My mother this week did similar. She actually called me or had the nurse in hospital call me on the telephone. She spoke fluently and cognitively. Asking me to come get her and she knew I was very busy, so since the home was so close to the hospital and I have so many things to do . I could just drop her off and go. She even called me back and said if I couldn't that evening could I come do it tommarow morning. That wasnt my mother.
Cant remember when she called me last or talked like that.
I have been reading other reports that say there have been some reversal of dementia and Alz. even some halting with no further progression. With holistic or health life style changes , especiallyin diet with proper vitamins and supplements and removal of numerous outside brain damaging things, antacids, dairycreamers, deoderant that has aluminum in it or any food cooked in aluminum. Removal of memory pill prescriptions where there is actually no prof of them working . List of brain healthy foods to eat to help brain function and rehab. If they are in a home one must find a doctor that is willing to try or trys other non traditional medicine other than pharmaceutical solutions. This Dr was supposedly the Dr Oz show and spoke on these other options an studies out side the US . Canada and Germany were two countries that have done some extensive research on some of the issues and treatments. Tests in Germany on Nexium and numerous script antacids show they create chronic Vitamin B deficiency Large percentage of seniors with memory problems show B deficiency. Your brain needs B . Im not educated enough to say much, but going to find a DO geriatric doctor or other , since I have to find a new doctor for my mom anyway. U cant stop them from aging but maybe not have them go out in a cloud of confusion or locked inside a closed mind unable to respond. Or at least one can hope. I think it can take up to 3-6 months to see improvements. My mother forgets to take her supplements, nursing wont do it with out doctors orders and have to give meds the doctor prescribes.

I see peoples comments about similar experiences then casting it off because it wasnt 100%. When has anyone recovered from any illness 100 % over night. Im sorry but to me it shows that the brain even if it is temp is trying to do its work in what is still a damaged environment for reasons we cant get in there and explain. Healing and rehab take time in situations that are more fully understood. I have seen a few web sites for dementia and AL. This Michael Murray that was on Dr Oz presented some evidence for some options. I will not post his web address most know how to find that on the web search engines.