Hi, newbie here. I could really use a range of opinions. My mother (in her 60s) is choosing her mother (in her 90s) over my dad, me, and her grandchildren. My grandmother is passing away, has hospice, and now resides in a nursing home. My mother has been her primary care giver for the last 8 years. My father and I and my son have come last in her life for all of those years. She proudly proclaims that her mother comes first. She quit working to take care of her mom, although I was always deeply concerned about how good that care actually was. My grandmother's home smelled of urine and feces. She was often unwashed. And my mother spent hours on the computer at her own home, not at my grandmas. I'm currently 38 weeks expecting with my second child and live out of state. She had initially offered to come and help me after the birth, since I'm having a c section and my husband is working 3 jobs. I also work full time and make a large salary. I have been there for her and my grandmother both emotionally and financially for these years. Grandma needs medicine, you got it! I'll send money! Can't pay your own bills because grandma needs depends, sending the money now! Now, we find out my mother cashed in my grandmother's whole life insurance policy (after my grandmother was over 85 years old) to cover bills, and she is expecting my dad to be HAPPY that he needs to pay for her cremation. My dad is NOT happy. He himself is 65, has worked his whole life, is still working full time so my mother will have health insurance. My mother has said things to me like, don't you dare have that baby early! Your grandmother is dying! Now, a week out of my c section, she's indicated she may not even be there for the birth. She may not stay to help me. She expects me to be okay with all of this, and she's angry my father, who of course will pay for the cremation, isn't doing so without some level of bitterness. I am flat out tired of her. Again, she is proud of the fact that she has chosen her mother over her spouse and only child. She says we all OWE grandmother. That it is US (dad and me) who are selfish. What is going on here??