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My mother in law lives in independent senior housing apartments, but my wife and I stay over about one a week or more just top make sure she is taken care of. She takes a multitude of sleeping and anxiety medications as well as taking Norco frequently because her hips are both bone on bone, without cartilage.
The problem is she won't stay in bed!
She is clearly out of it and exhausted but can't seem to stay in bed which lasts to her falling.
I don't know how to approach the topic because during the day she is completely mentally sound, it's just physical issues.
Ideally I would move her into our home but she doesn't remember waking up every five minutes or falling and sleeping on the bathroom floor until one of her kids comes over.
Any advice would be so greatly appreciated!!

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Thank you!!
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Oh for g*ds sakes, she's only 69, hardly ready to call it quits and give up on life. Get her the surgery and everything else will fall into place.
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The other thing is she only moved into these independent living homes about two or three months ago, so she is being extra stubborn
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Thank you so much for everyone's input!
My MIL has been the only strong thing in my wife's life, so i think it's hard for her to tell her mom what needs to be said.
The therapy only causes get extreme pain, she often can't even move without whimpering... it's really awful to have to watch.
I just don't want to make her feel like i think she's dumb or incapable because mentally she's fine, but i think she wants to take the pain away so badly that she takes too many of the pills.
My wife and i have both told her multiple times she needs to try alternatives but it goes in one ear and out the other... i guess we have to be morestern??
Also has anyone heard of the doctor being able to inject something into your joints that forms into a sort of cartilage? I can't find much information on that kind of procedure
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I agree she probably needs assited living. Also, I'm no doc, but bone on bone hip joints? I can't imagine what therapy would do for other than to cause extreme pain. My Mom was in such agony. The slightest attemps to get up or down or take 2 steps would simply kill her. No one ever suggested therapy. But maybe there's some medical theory I'm not aware of.
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I have a friend who has bone on bone in her knees. Her doctor told her surgery was the only option.

There is something called COLD treatment. They put VERY cold needles into the nerve and freeze it. It's for people that nothing else helps. I would google it. It helps some people.

It sounds like your MIL is in danger from falling and really hurting herself or worse. I think it's past the point of being gentle. Why can't your wife just tell her point blank that the medications are rendering her too impaired to walk and that she's a danger to herself. I would suggest that she's not able to stay alone anymore for safety reasons. Or she can accompany her to her doctor's appointment and tell her doctor. Maybe all that medication is not allowing her to think clearly. If it continues, she is at risk of breaking bones in a fall. Sometimes that happens before people heed warnings though.
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It's past time for a wheelchair. Insist on one. She's also more than ready for assisted living.
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She is 69.
She is currently going to physical therapy because the doctor said it was the only alternative to try before surgery or a wheel chair.
About 7 years ago or so she had gastric bypass surgery and many complications came from it like them stapling her stomach incorrectly so it leaked into her bloody etc.... She ended up being in the hospital for close to three months so she really is against having a hip replacement
However the doctor said if the physical therapy doesn't work it's a wheelchair out surgery so we are trying to convince her
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How old is she? The hip problems you mention are incredibly painful and destroying any quality of live for her. I went through this with my Mom who was on oxy and kept falling and sleeping through her scheduled sugar checks and insulin. She was finally diagnosed with a bad hip and half hip replacement surgery at age 83. It's was tough but she got through it, went to rehab, slowing got off the oxy stuff and got her life back. She still has health problem but she is so much more mobile and alert since the surgery and getting off the meds.

With 2 bad hips replacement may not be a viable option but has it been considered?
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