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She wears diapers and is helped to the toilet each morning, and now don't go poop on her own. Its like her body want to poop but she just sits there unresponsive. What can we do. Her son refuse to put her in a care home.

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I was reading every one's messages and my mother is 90 years old and poor thing has extreme difficulty pooping. It gets so hard and big, that she crys cause
her anal can not open that big, we have to dig it out. I have started her on Miralax, the doctor gave her stool softern's, but she will not swallow them. We do the suppositories, on Wednesday and Sundays, however it is a big hard chunk all the time. My goal is to find some thing that will soften it enough, to where she does not suffer. We give her Papaya, and prunes and it just does not work. We started yesterday putting a Cup of Miralax in her Oatmeal and one in her tea, and in any liquid she takes, lets see if this works.
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For our quadriplegic and paraplegic patients in the hospital we had a suppository regimine. That worked great. Give the supposiitory, wait about 30 minutes and a bowel movement was produced.
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Be careful what you write on this website,it can wind up in other places..you can't remove your comment & trying to unsubscribe is next to impossible & I was told they print articles on FBook….This is the last place on earth experiences should be shared & found by others who have no business knowing.
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My mother(80)has most of the list on the health concerns,stroke - Alz (no walking) leading the way,it's been several years of 24/7 caregiving.I thought pooping was involuntary,but she definitely needs encouragement & help at times ok most of the time now,like glove-finger - vaseline help.I've seen everything from hard as a rock & as big around as a soup can jamming up the toilet frequently to continuous wet poop wiping 100 times to get to a stopping point,sometimes approaching 2 hours in the bathroom.Finding the Miralax,clear sol.fiber,stimulant balance is a challenge & trips to the hospital / nursing home toss any progress sometimes months worth right out the window,she's on blood thinners & I'm concerned about impaction & bleeding..better to be overly soft & moving (& yes having to clean her up) than risking internal bleeding as well as loss of appetite & more lower body weakness.I'm helping her right now..taking some out seeing if it might encourage her to do some on her own.The original statement.."refuses to put her in a nursing home" I don't refuse to put her in ltc, it's more than probable than not that she'll wind up there,it's day to day but I'm keeping her in her home as long as humanly possible,the answer isn't always "just put her in a nursing home" you hear that all the time..like they're free & the safest place on earth.I'm well aware of my health priority & her safety.I've found that there is no sure fire consistent way to keep her going like the old days & over stimulating her system isn't the answer more medication & on top of someone who is already dehydrated from a mountain of pills everyday including Spironolactone & Torsemide doesn't work, actually can make constipation & dehydration worse.It's hands on & tweaking,keeping communication with her doctor,keeping it moving " it's just part of it". I talk to her doctors frequently addressing the pooping & they distance themselves from "what to do" like most things..answering but not really is how it's been for years, I kind have to research tips & solutions myself, which there isn't enough of or way too much info..There's some good stuff here & situations I'm painfully aware of..
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Drink warm water upon rising with Lemon.
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Take her to see a gastroenterologist asap. In the meantime, I would recommend Miralax. Watch the dosage, and give her water, water, water..
You don't want to deal with impaction.
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Warm prune juice is what my doctor said to give my dad.
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Sorry I mixed up Joy's question with the information Sprtsjylene gave.
To clarify further an obstruction is a medical emergency and the patient will have unbearable abdominal pain and fecal like vomiting. Left untreated they will die within 24-48 hours. the treatment is surgical. One sure sign of this is the complete absence of bowel sounds. This happens sometimes in patients with colon cancer and they can have surgery but the obstruction will return in weeks or months. These patients are usually very lucid and can understand what is going on and make their own decisions. If they elect for no treatment it is possible to keep them pain free and sedated as they wish until they pass.
An impaction needs to be dealt with urgently and may require the use of enemas and Miralax from above. I think Joy could try some of the techniques the other poster suggested but consult MIL's Dr if she has not passed a stool in five or more days. It may take a visit to the ER to get her cleaned out. I still stand by the use of Metamucil for routine bowel care amongst other methods suggested. What works for one may not work for another. She may be impacted but you would know if she had an obstruction.
Are you able to manage your MIL at home if her son is refusing N/H?
at the end of life all systems become weak and it may be that MIL can't push the poop out because she does not have the strength or has forgotten how.
now I'm done talking about this too!
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Metamucil does not work for everyone and she needs to find a solution before the feces becomes impacted. Metamucil has a glycol chemical ingredient which will exacerbate the issue. I'm done talking about this because my husband has been dealing with this issue for the 30 yrs. we have been married which means I have been dealing with it.
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But she may not be able to go because she has an obstruction, this should be ruled out too.
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Ferris the original questioner did not say the lady had an obstruction just that she can't go. Two different things two different treatments.
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Metamucil is not good when someone has an impaction. It will only add bulk and make it worse. Drink warm water, not cold - ever, keep drinking and add a fruit/veggie blended mixture that includes the pulp, but pulverized (like NutriBullet), and keep drinking those drinks without meat and dairy. Try that.
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All the above are good. you can also try some Metamucil this bulks up the stool and makes it soft. My personal preference is the original which is the cheapest. I mix the dose with about 3 - 4 ounces of orange juice and fill the rest of a six ounce glass with warm water. Many people use iced water but I find warm goes down easier. Ideally follow with another 6 ounces of water. If you are massaging the anal area she may agree to having a finger, gloved of course,inserted into her vagina. This way you can kind of milk the stool out. You can search all her medications on the internet and see which ones have constipation as a side effect, then talk to the Dr. Don't expect him to take the time to look everything up.
For others who have bowel problems something else to be aware of is if your loved one seems to have diarrhea. It could be that they are severely constipated and liquid stool is leaking out around the impacted stool. A simple rectal exam will give you the answer to that one. I say that from the perspective of a nurse and realize others may baulk at the idea but all you need to do is insert a well lubricated gloved finger into the rectum as far as it will go and you will have your answer, you may be able to pull some poop out. Put your finger in very gently because sometimes the internal sphincter goes into spasm causing pain. Stop at once and wait then gently continue. Rubbing the anus with lubricant may also help things relax. If you have a nurse visiting they can do it for you and even an aide may have sufficient experience. This is one thing that does not always need a Dr visit.
Sorry Book I hope I did not make you toss your cookies.
If you notice non verbal signs of pain or new restlessness in your loved one the first things to check are constipation and retained urine.
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Not getting rid of fecal waste can result in an impacted bowel which is both painful and if not removed, can rupture the intestines. You do not mention if she is taking any medication which usually will constipate one. Ask the doctor which one or ones she is taking that might be causing the impaction, or if it is the dementia's effects (bodily functions will continue to slow and then not work). If your husband will not put her in a care facility, you will have to deal with this problem and get some results as soon as possible. Try magnesium citrate gel capsules three times a day until she goes. You can also find it in a liquid form for about $.98 at Walmart in their pharmacy. She needs to go and the sooner the better! Merry Christmas!
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You have excellent help from above, also, just a thought, if mom is taking any codeine, a small amount with aspirin type med can cause constipation.
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We use Miralax EVERY morning, we put it in my MIL's prune juice. We started out with a capful but now, since we give it to her every day, we only use a half cap. We also give her LOTS of liquids throughout the day. MY MIL doesn't go on her own either so when we put her on the toilet (she also doesn't walk so there are 2 of us that have to put her on the toilet and take her off), one of us will sit with her and rub her bowel area, in a counterclockwise fashion, we can feel the gas bubbles gurgling around in there. Then when she starts to pass gas, we apply a slight amount of pressure in the same area to help push it out.

It sounds terrible but the end result is that she is NOT constipated anymore. She is 90 years old, lives home with us and this is just one of the many small things we do for her to keep her out of a nursing home/hospital with a blockage.

We have tried the Magnesium Citrate ... it took 6 or more hours to work on her and then we had the worst mess we could ever think of having, because she couldn't tell us when she had to go nor could she get to the bathroom on her own. The Miralax is a miracle!!!!!
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my mom has the same problem, try a dose of miralax every other day, it works magic
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Activia yogurt works like a boss. She'll go whether she wants to or not. Get ready! lol

And what Sunflo said, too.
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Sometimes the brain no longer is triggering the signal for them in later stages. You have to make sure they don't get impacted bowel.

Here is sure fire way to help her go and keep her regular.

Get MIRALAX and depending on how long it's been, give her about 4 capfuls dissolved in warm drink, coffees or tea ( dissolve 2caps/cup) and have her drink. There is no taste. You can even put in a cup of broth. Then keep her hydrated and sipping or drinking liquids all day. Likely she will go, no cramping or discomfort.

Then, daily, give her capful in 1cup of coffee, tea, each morning and this will keep her regular.

Miralax is a miracle stool softener that works great and predictably and will keep her regular. The key is to ensure person also drinks a lot of liquids thru the day to keep the bowel hydrated and help Miralax work.

Good luck.

To relieve constipation quickly as a jump start, you can have her drink a small bottle of magnesium citrate(available for $1 at grocery or drugstore where laxatives are). This works within hours vs overnight. Just be prepared that she will go to bathroom several times for about 2 hrs. But she'll be cleaned out. Then you can start the daily Miralax.
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She may need a stool softener. Ask her doctor if you can give her one.
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