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She's 46 years old, and for the last almost 3 years, she's been hacked on WhatsApp since 2024 and believes that my dad and I have also been hacked and spied on in our apartment by a neighbor next door and an ex friend of hers from Turkey, through vents, ceiling fans, light fixtures and empty smoke detector sockets. She ended up taping those areas up and set up a white noise machine in the bathroom. And recently, she told me that we were being broadcasted on TVs in the another country and people were watching us in our most private, vulnerable moments. And there were times that she got into arguments with Dad, but he doesn't believe her. And she tried talking to our other neighbors about it, but then believes that they were lying or gaslighting her when they disagreed with what she said.
Now for the record, I highly doubt any of this is true, as all my devices seem to work fine and it's not physically possible to spy on someone through those said areas. But there's no way to prove this to her as she's just rather stubborn about it, there's no point in arguing with her as she'll just get angrier and fight back, and I'm getting kinda scared about whether any of this is true or not. I mean, I know she's been suffering from various medical conditions, been mentally unstable, plus if I remember correctly, she did mention that she had a brain tumor that's pressing on the part that produces dopamine few years back, so this could be the cause. But we'd also need someone to come check our apartment just to confirm this.
I really need to get her to seek a neurologist or psychologist to get her diagnosed. I can't talk to any of her doctors as I don't have their contact info, so the least I can do right now is to just pray. And for the record, I'm 27.

This sounds like schizophrenia. The problem is many people with schizophrenia don't think they have a problem and will resist going to a doctor and will resist taking meds.

You and/or you Dad should go with Mom on every doctor visit. If you are not on the HIPPA forms, slip out of the cubicle room and tell the RN what symptoms you are seeing and request he/she pass the symptoms along to the doctor. You can still relay info if you are not on the forms.
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Reply to brandee
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i am going to parrot the responses before me. .. parents still married?
make sure dad and you are on her HIPPA health form so doctors can discuss her issues with you.
GET ALL MEDICAL CHECKUPS DONE and updated. I seen some crazy stuff with UTI's. It's no joke.
Getting hacked on cell phones is more n more common. Get her a simple phone aka dumb phone. Maybe that'll help.
I like the instrument that finds wires along with notebook.
Tell her let the phone go to voicemail if she does not recognize the area code or the phone number. If it is important, they will leave a message..
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Your mother is not being stubborn, she is suffering from mental illness, or brain damage, and YOU CAN NOT REASON WITH HER.

Praying is the least you can do. You could try and take your mother to a neurologist and/or psychologist for evaluation. Even if you don't know any doctor she has seen previously. A lot of our medical history is available online for other doctors to see. Can you make an appointment and take her? Could your dad?

If you can not get her to a doctor for evaluation and diagnosis, then you could call 911 when she's having a particularly upsetting episode, and have her taken to the ER. They will evaluate her there.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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"...had a brain tumor"...? where did it go? Did she get it treated? I'm asking if there's any medical evidence at all of her having one because this Friday I'm going to the funeral of a 33-yr old close friend who just passed after an 8-yr battle with a glioblastoma brain tumor. His was behind his right eye and spread in his brain and elsewhere in his body. He didn't have paranoia for a single minute. He went through all sorts of treatments at the Mayo clinic, to no avail. If your Mom was never treated for this alleged tumor, she never had one.

I think you have to consider that your Mom is a paranoid schizophrenic, untreated. I am mentioning this because you mentioned her being "mentally unstable". My good's friend son (in his 40s) moved in with them and you just described the same behaviors that he displays -- and he is a paranoid schizophrenic.

You can't force your Mom to go the doctor or even carry out any treatments or take meds. Where is your Dad in all of this? He's the one with the leverage to get her to go. Stop feeding into her paranoias by trying to convince her of anything -- it is all very real to her. Change the subject, distract her or walk away. Don't engage in it.

If you live with them I would move out as it's not going to get any better if she never accepts help. I'm so sorry for your Mom and your family.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Your mother is sadly, very mentally ill. Please don’t spend even a minute trying to prove or disprove the delusions she’s having. This is beyond your ability to handle. She is in need of extensive mental health treatment and support. She is likely to resist this, maybe has for years. I hope you’re not living in this environment, if you are, I hope you’ll move away as soon as possible. This doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for your mother. It means you accept what you cannot fix and protect yourself. Discuss this with your dad privately, encourage him to seek treatment for mom. Move out and live away from this before it becomes too much. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Do you live close to her? So this is where arguing will get you no where when my dad first started getting dementia he swore up and down that my mom was cheating on him with the neighbor and he would get so mad he would try to get physical. So I picked lets find a way to validate his concern and still let him keep some dignity. You can buy a detector and run it through the house its a little handheld radio looking device that picks up on other feeds and if there is one it will blink red. Kinda like the socket testers but you can run it through the whole house. Do it once with her and then give her the device and she can run it whenever she feels like its happening shoot get her a lil notebook and she can make notes per day that may stop some of her panic behavior. Also and this was weird when I first heard it but it has help us with my dad when he feels confused or wants to know something if you can install Alexa or Siri or Google whatever at the house for her she can ask them questions all-day no matter what the topic! For the underlying cause of this there could be several things starting with the brain pressure if she acts confused or lost or her balance seems off take her to an ER and ask them to check her labs. She could also be dehydrated or be exposed to too much heat. She could also have a UTI or some other infection. This could all lead to the symptoms you are describing. Whatever you do remember to just step away when it gets to be too much or when something needs time to calm down. Always listen to your gut instinct and enjoy being 27 as much as you can!
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Reply to CafeGlow
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