For the past 1.5 years I become the primary caregiver for my mom who has vascular dementia (she wasn't taking her hypertension meds) and has incontinence. In the beginning after rehab, it was on weekends. After going to rehab again, it became clear that she can not live on her own. Although there are other siblings who live afar, it was placed on me, the youngest. I have lived alone for almost 30 years so this is a very big change.
I found somoene who I knew who is retired nurses asst, who worked in long term care when she came to live with me. Things started out great. However, they are bad. Mom verbally mistreats this person as she has done many other home health workers (therapists, RNs, etc) when she had home therapy. I feel that this person will quit soon (can't blame her) and I do not want to deal with an agency. I told mom that if this doesn't work then alternate living arrangements would need to be made (hoping this would work- which it hasn't). With all that I already have to deal with, I should not have to put up with this. I am giving my time, my energy, and my finances for her with no other help. If I can I am to the point where I would be willing to make her a ward of the state, since no one is power of attorney nor guardian just to get out of this. Although I don't think she would last in a facility, she is requiring more and more care.
I feel helpless and like my life is slowly going down the toilet. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?