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My mother recently fell and fractured her hip. She has home care nursing 24/7. She doesnt feel alright with just them in the house even though they are educated and trained and know what they are doing, she has a bad feeling. i am tired of her paranoid nonsense.Unless she is sick or really needs my help with something I cant talk to her anymore. She doesnt think anyone except her knows antyhting at all anyway. Only she can have any knowledge about anything. Is it normal for someone to be paranoid or having a bad feeling as a result of a hip fracture? She has always been this way, but now it is more so.

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Kelly, did mom have surgery to repair her hip fracture? Sometimes in the elderly, anesthesia causes previously undiagnosed mental changes to become more obvious. You should report this change in your mom mental status to her doctor.
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The older we get, the more like ourselves we become! If she has always had the attitude that only she knows what is good for her, it is not surprising that it has gotten worse with her impairment.

(Does she have dementia, by the way?)

Don't take all of her phone calls. If there is a true emergency there is someone there to handle it. They can call you. Tell your mom that you will call her once in the morning, and take one evening call from her (or whatever seems reasonable to you). Then STICK TO YOUR PLAN!
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I would call the MD and ask him to prescribe a mild anxiolytic. Often they will pick lorazepam (Ativan) or alprazolam (Xanax). Also, get her to listen to her favorite music and watch her favorite old TV shows. Mentally, that will take her back to happier times.
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Maybe your mom is feeling more vulnerable since she broke her hip?
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Not sure why you say she doesn't have dementia. I'll bet a detailed neuro-cognitive assessment would show that she does. But she won't go for that.

My late MIL was just like this. Previously dxed with dementia by a neurologist ( she told her children that was BS and not to believe it), her symptoms worsened after surgery. Wouldn't cooperate with rehab. Was placed in a NH and starved herself to death. Nope, no one could tell her what to do. Not her sons ( she accused them of elder abuse when they tried to get her to stop smoking, eat better), not her doctors.

She knew better. I'm really sorry, but this is a personality type that i call " their own worst enemy".
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kellyd - my experience with my mother and her having dementia was that every negitive personality trait became 100x worse due to the giant thread of unreasonableness that contaminated everything.
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Kelly, getting old isn't easy for many elders. Think about it, Mom can't get around because of a broken hip which will take time to heal and all the physical therapy involved... Mom can't just hop in the car to go shopping or to the hair dresser or to visit friends.... depending on Mom's age, if she is much older, then most of her good friends have either moved away or have passed on. Elders become bored because they can't do our favor things.

Hearing becoming worse, eyesight is starting to fail, clothes don't fix correctly, can't wear high heels anymore due to being a fall risk. Thus when it comes to conversations, there isn't a heck of a lot to talk about as not much is new in their lives.... [sigh].

I am afraid to ask this, but how does Mom feels about moving to a retirement community where she would be around people closer to her age? Should I cover my ears???

Is aging a denial? Thus the reason for not wanting to take any medicine? I know I was the same, wouldn't take an aspirin for pain unless my hair was on fire. And you can't change that way of thinking. Some meds can be compound into a liquid that the caregiver could put in her orange juice or coffee. It's just a suggestion.
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She's probably taking pain meds which have nasty side effects. If you have MPOA, talk with her doctor about other alternatives. If she has been know-it-all most of your life, then she will remain like that. Tell her your concerns and then do not respond to her phone calls unless one of the aides calls you. You'll be under her thumb unless you put a stop to it. Time to act like an adult instead of the "child" your mother sees. Few parents allow their children to become adults.
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I went through the same experience with my mother. She even wanted someone she knew to stay over night in her room, every night. This went on for 8 months. All of us who knew and loved her were worn pretty thin before she passed away. Of course now we all wish we could spend another evening with her. The only advice I can offer is to do what you can do. These are hard times. Love and prayers.
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Kelly most Elderly People do not like having Strangers in the house, and Your Mom is bound to be nervous because of the fall.
As You stated Your Mom is receiving 24 hour Nursing Care at home but remember She would give it all away for quality time with You Who She trusts and Loves. I treasure the beautiful memories I have of My dear Mother, and the time We had together over the last three years at home.
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