Mother (83) has horrible hemorrhoids and needs to be seen by a doctor. She says she can deal with it herself. How do I persuade her to go?

I have personal experience with this. Here it goes, the ultimate TMI moment.

I suffer from very severe hemorrhoids as a result of a spinal cord injury and related long-term medications.

I found dealing with the cream, ointments and every other at home treatment, both prescribed and OTC out there useless. It was frustrating and the misery was to much.

What I can recommend is hemorrhoid banding. Ask your mothers GI specialist, if she has one, about it. If not, make sure she gets to one.

Banding is not right for all types so an evaluation is needed by doctor.

The exam is quick, painless, embarrassing but not a big deal. Convincing her may be the hardest part.

Banding is very quick. Takes about 2-3 minutes to do and has minor discomfort. Way less than the hemorrhoids in the first place.

There are 3 main rectal columns that hemorrhoids grow from and so a band is placed on each section separately. The first one is done than the second 2weeks later and the 3rd 2 weeks out from 2nd. It typically is a permanent fix and new ones rarely reform.

I had great results and bowel movements are less problematic and less messy if you will.

Yout can PM me if you want more detailed specifics but I do highly recommend that simple procedure. Oh and yes, both Medicaid and Medicare pay for it. I am on direct Medicare and had no issues.

Hope your Mom gets relief soon.

Oh Ps. I also switched to memory foam pads on chairs. That helped with pain.

I don't think it's as easy as putting her in the car and going. If she doesn't want to go what are you going to do? Throw her over your shoulder?

She might feel embarrassed and I imagine they're very painful as well. Is her doctor a man? Perhaps she'd feel more comfortable with a woman doctor.

The dementia does complicate things a bit as you are probably unable to reason with her. No one can take care of their own hemorrhoids because of where they're located so that argument doesn't hold water.

My suggestion is to find a women doctor and get your mom there under false pretenses such as needing a physical. You could tell her that the woman doctor is taking over all of her previous doctor's patients and it's time your mom had a basic, no-frills checkup. Inform the doctor's office prior to the appointment about the real issue.

Good luck.

I would think its hard for her to go. I think she needs a visit to the doctor. Just put her in the car and go. She no longer can make informed decisions so you do for her.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hemorrhoids/symptoms-causes/syc-20360268

Look up haemorrhoids on the net. The Mayo Clinic has a really good site.

Not all hemorrhoids are dangerous. They can itch, and they hurt if they poke through the anal ring and get squeezed. They are very common. I have them, though perhaps not as bad as your mother’s. They flare up from time to time.

If your mother says she is coping OK, perhaps she is. There are creams that help by making them more slippery and also provide some local anaesthesia. Two brands here are called Anusol and Rectinol, which always makes me laugh. I can easily reach to cream around the anus plus just inside it. Then I tuck them back inside. I need good handwashing afterwards, and paper towel and a hand antiseptic helps.

Yes, it’s embarrassing to get checked. Mine first appeared when I was on holiday in Spain. Trying to explain this in a pharmacy when I didn’t speak Spanish was one of my lifetime linguistic highlights. The tourist phrase book didn’t help!

Perhaps reading this to your mother might help her to be less embarrassed and more interested in what it's all about. It might give her a laugh too.

When you have read the Mayo Clinic site, get your mother to a lady doctor if you both think it’s a good idea. In the meantime, try the creams. Good luck to both of you.

Ecellent advise about banding. 92 year old MIL had procedure for hers and it made a world of difference in her quality of life. She can now sit, walk, lay down without the pain. It also helped a great deal with her bowel movements and bowel incontinence, not to mention her happiness that she can now wear her own underwear with a pad for just incase, no more embarrassing "accidents". She too did not want to see a doctor, she was dealing with them on her own, never a good thing. She was told by her daughters nightmare stories how he was going to "cut" them out and how terrible it was going to be. After having the first one banded her statement was that she wished she had done it a long time ago. Now she has her self esteem back, she's comfortable, not dealing with the constant vicious cycle of constipation and diarrhea. Try telling her you want doc to look at them to see if they can help. May be more open to medication suggestion from you, then removal suggestion from doc? Have to look at them to prescribe meds?

Sorry if I was a little blunt. Just that you cannot reason with a person who has Dementia. So why try. You have to now be the adult and them the child because they no longer can make informed decisions. I didn't enjoy the role reversal but it had to be done for my Moms sake. Think about it, its like dealing with a toddler.

I learned something new today about the banding. Interesting.

My mother has hemorroids, and the best thing to shrink them after they swell up is with an ice pak. Not the cloth type, but the ones you put in lunch boxes. Insert the ice pak for a few minutes right on the rectum. The coldness will shrink them and stop the inflamation. It works!!!

When I went to my gastro doc for my colonoscopy, he said he could band them at the same time only if they are internal ones. Externals he said should be left alone. You might be able to get her an appt for a colonoscopy consult (to her) even if she's too old as an excuse for the real reason to visit your gastro doc, to check her 'roids.

Just a thought. How about Tucks? They can fit right onto the Depend.