More fake checks. Mom thinks they're real and doesn't get it. Any advice?

Aj, where is your mother living now that she is getting this mail?
Is she in a care facility, or in your home?
Someone may at some point need to take control of mail that is causing this much disruption, if your mother has dementia and this is a problem as a result of her diagnosis.

This could get bad at some point. Would your mother make you her POA for banking and financial? I was asked by my brother, diagnosed with probable early Lewy's to do this for him, leaving him a small account of his own with a few thousand in it. That way your Mom can do as she pleases without losing money.

You might consider a field trip with Mom, appointment with her bank's office. I think that would help. Sometimes this can be very dangerous with them sending a lottery check and saying you won, but until you send a tax check for 10,000 or something the funds won't come available. This can be really a losing thing for our seniors.

AARP website has a lot of info for you.

Are her caregivers live-ins? If they aren't then they should be if she has dementia and is screaming and carrying on because she doesn't understand what a scam looks like.

I think your statement about nobody being prepared for cognitive decline in the digital age is absolutely brilliant. This is certainly an issue that should be seeing some serious discussion.

In the meantime, there are certain apps that can be downloaded to your mothers phone which will allow you to monitor all of her online activity. She would not even know. Visit an apple store. They can explain all of this better than I ever could.

Maybe ditch her phone, and get her a RAZ phone?

”Whoops, Mom. That phone company went under. Here’s a new phone.”

Sign your mom up for Informed Delivery on the USPS website. Every day you can log in and see what mail is coming her way that day. At least that way you will know what is coming in the mail. Maybe her caregivers can intercept the mail before she gets it. And if you can get hold of the mail intact, report it to the United States Postal Inspection Service.

My father and your mother are part of a generation where everyone was trustworthy. They don't understand that people aren't nice today and are out to swindle them. They don't understand that, for all intents and purposes, they should trust no one beyond their circle of family and friends. My dad's misplaced trust had me in a bank for over an hour today. It is frustrating. I monitor as much as I can from five hours away but I can't watch his online activities 24/7.

The people in la Verne should file a police report. They too are victims of fraud.
your mom is a victim of fraud. You should file a police report and check her credit.
Collect the checks and and see who she is conversing with on social media.
how else wiuld she deposit the checks?
There’s a scam.. and I would notify her bank.

Gently make mom aware of people taking advantage of senior citizens.
i see more advertisements fans warnings about fraud and senior citizens asking for their security numbers.

Mrs. Smith, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You just won the lottery!!! Before we can mail you the check, we need your complete address, phone number, and your social security number so we can file the forms and inform the IRS for you so you don’t get fined.
And we need a clear copy if your government ID
and they may say something about direct deposit into the account which means they have her complete account info.
You may want to freeze her credit line etc..
Mom needs to learn that anyone can be anybody on the internet. Is there any kind of adult daycare she csn attend, Bingo?

Get her a Grandpad, it has phone, internet (has to be special set up otherwise it is not there) the phone does not need wifi it uses data. And the purchaser (you) would be the one to set up the people who can call. NO SPAM callers! It was the best $200.00 I ever spent and customer service is the best! As far as the mail - tell her you have a business manager for her items and that the manager needs to look at all of the mail first because she is in that 'GROUP' now.

I forwarded all mail to my house. The only mail that isnt forwarded is to resident . That helped a lot!

The short answer is:

STOP HER ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE ON-LINE (block or get her a new computer (?) and phone... and set up w child proof needs. Get someone to help you if you do not know how to do this. She certainly SHOULD NOT HAVE an iphone.

As necessary, take away her phone or learn how to block numbers.
She can scream all she wants.
Learn to understand this is her 'new' brain chemistry 'talking,' not the mom you used to know. It isn't that she doesn't care - she cannot 'care.'
It sounds like she should not be living alone, if she is.

Get her a phone that is very limited in ability.
If you do not have POA or other legal rights as her daughter or son, get this take care of ASAP. Otherwise, she will lose everything - if she hasn't already.

If you are unable to manage / be there / available, find a manager who can deal with all this. If you do not, there will continue to be these unfortunate issues.

She'll stomp her feet and have tantrums. Expect this and do what is needed anyway. Get her puzzles, find volunteers to visit (from a vol agency), caregivers. Help her develop new 'real friends.'
She needs a social worker and much more intervention than what she is apparently getting now. Get all the help(ers) you can.

Gena / Touch Matters

P.S. You need to BLOCK everything ... Facebook, internet. Everything.
Gena

aj6044: Perhaps you can take away this phone and provide her with one with very limited capability.

Did she get an actual check in the mail? "I told the care company to shred it." Is there a way to prevent that kind of mail from reaching her? She can still believe in scams... not that that's a good thing, but it's harder to change without corraling her freedom by limiting all social media... but the least intrusive modification might be to have someone there intercede. Would they hold her mail for you to review if you asked them to? I used to toss mail from predatory places before my dad would see it. It's tough when deciding when to respect independence and when to do what you know is best for them. Good luck.

*Someone mentioned changing the mailing address to your place. That sounds good. Is it doable?

**But she still gave someone bad out there her address. So maybe time for some digital limitations.

It is terribly sad that every time we turn around there is another scam to watch out for.

Great suggestions from everyone who posted. It’s hard to stay on top of these things and we can’t take anything for granted these days.

It’s better to prevent a scam than to deal with it later. My email address was hacked awhile back and someone took out a loan in my name. Those overnight loans that people apply for online are fairly easy for people to get.

I had to make a police report to get the situation resolved. The detective who handled my case said that he had an office full of policemen handling fraud cases.

US Mail being used to receive fraudulent checks? If your mom is receiving fraudulent mail then you need to file a report.

Report – United States Postal Inspection Service

How to Contact the U.S. Postal Inspection Service
If you believe you’ve been targeted by a scam involving the U.S. Mail, you can get help by contacting your nearest Postal Inspection Service office in one of three ways:
Call 1-877-876-2455.
Visit www.uspis.gov to report suspected fraud online.
Mail your queries to this address:
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS SERVICE CENTER
ATTN: MAIL FRAUD
433 HARRISON STREET RM 3255
CHICAGO IL 60699-3255
https://www.uspis.gov ;› report

Also, check out RAZ Memory Cell Phone for ALZ patients:
https://www.razmobility.com/solutions/memory-cellphone/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6vaqBhCbARIsACF9M6mjbsAfB6HhTbgEe3YOLNZl-blFN0Pc527dU3sol5KiWGN10h79S5MaAimaEALw_wcB

If you go to the settings on her iPhone, go to phone app, and hit “silence unknown numbers” and turn on. Numbers that are not in her contact list won’t ring in. What the check scam is is entities “giving” your mom $, then asking her to write them a check for a portion of it back, for expenses. Sounds like multiple scammers have her number, so to speak. The bank will count the scammers deposit as fraud and charge your mom’s account. If she has a kind banker, it may help to develop a relationship with them. My mom had this happen with a publishers clearing house check. Also she had a “carer” who was altering amounts on checks, and refused to believe it. There are all sorts of predators out there! Sorry you are dealing with this….

Take the checks and tell her you are depositing them into a special account (actually shred and place in trash).

Can you have her mail delivered to a PO box? Or submit a change of address to your house so you get her mail?
If she has a caregiver that is with her can the caregiver check the mailbox first and remove "junk mail"?
You might want to see if you can opt for privacy and security setting on her FB account.
And as a last resort the phone or computer she is using could "break"

Reading your profile it sounds like you mom really should not be living alone. Wheelchair bound and dementia and living alone do not go well together.

Take away her phone. She can't handle it anymore. Make up a story why she can't have it. This is a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Get her a Grandpad. You are the administrator, and you load up her contacts. She can email, text, call or video chat. There is also music and games. What she doesn't get is contact from people not on her list! Then ditch her phone - she won't need it.

Why not let her have the check? Tell her you think it is fake but let her find out on her own. What was the point of taking it away and shredding it?

I once let my then 5-year-old daughter play with my phone. When I got my credit card statements, I realized that she had bought downloads and subscribed to various things without my knowledge or permission. I learned a lesson then that if someone is mentally incapable of making good decisions, they shouldn't have access to mobile devices as they offer a gateway to scammers and unauthorized purchases. And it is only getting worse.

It may just be fake checks now but could escalate, it is very easy to do. I would take away her phone and provide her with some other way to stay connected to the (real) people who are important to her.

So sorry you’re going thru this, have been thru some of the same. Is it possible to go to the bank and have a meeting with someone in the fraud Dept and have them go over it with her? The ck my mom recd was for $9,800, but the bank put a hold on funds (even tho she had money to cover it) until it had cleared the other bank, which it never did, it was fake. We have an alert on my mothers account that she is a victim of fraud and beware of transactions. We also set up a “freeze” thru TransUnion, Experian and Equifax, so she can not take out new loans, new credit cards or make any big changes.

Good Luck!

These scammers never give up and they are always coming up with new ways to scam people. It’s truly disgusting.

Update: no recent fake checks. i think it's because when I switched her to prepaid cards only she could no longer pay for any dating apps.