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What did they do to help them or make it stop? My mother has been living in an AL for 6 months now. She used to take $50.00 (her allowance) out of her account to use for things that she needed to buy. Twice it has been stolen. The workers at her facility all have master keys that can open their rooms and can go in there whenever they want. Not that they are supposed to of course but if they know the resident is in the dining room, at a special event, out for the day or whatever they know the resident will not know if they went in. Today my mother had $50.00 stolen from her room. She has dementia and a really bad memory and they are taking advantage of the fact that she is not aware of everything that is going on. I was over to see my mother last night and she had $54.00 in her wallet. When I called her this afternoon she only had $4.00 . I knew she hadn't spent it because I am the only person who takes her out and I did not take her out today because I was working so it was obviously stolen. When I talked to the manager she had the attitude that maybe she went out today and spent it. It made me so mad because I knew that wasn't true. So they called the police and we filed a police report. The manager told the policeman that she hadn't gone to breakfast which wasn't true and that no one had been in her room today. What she didn't tell them was that the workers all have keys and could've gone in anytime that she was at breakfast or lunch. I am just so mad about it right now. It is so awful that someone would just go in your room and steal something from you especially a senior citizen. It is elder abuse. She will not have anymore money in her room but we will never find out who the thief is and it will continue happening to innocent people who think their things are safe but are not. After it happened the first time I have been keeping her money with me, but she took some money out of her account without me knowing because she forgot she wasn't supposed to. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this problem?

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those crack hors stole my mothers hydrocodone right out of the mail , out of her purse , out of her med box . they stole 400.00 cash from her purse . its so prevailant that cops arent geared to deal with it . bout your only consolation is -- someone that disgusting is going to have one sad , tragic life .
its caused by sick management . force them to make it right or file a police report . the cops arent going to solve it but nh administrater dont want them around -- good leverage for you ..
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i got even . dried out my wet boots in AL microwave -- blew that sucker up ..
got my boots dry though ..
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Mom is in AL and has a lock box in her closet. She still can't keep track of her money. She ends up hiding it in different places, jacket pockets, purse, you name it. She even lost her Blue Cross cards. I found them in her address book.
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We did file a police report. The management was trying to tell the police that it wasn't their fault and that we must be mistaken. They don't want their reputation to suffer. I will not be keeping my mouth closed that's for sure. It it keeps happening they are going to lose a lot of business.
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Give her the money in a trust account with the facility. No cash.

I'm not convinced anyone stole it. That sure wouldn't be my first thought with my mom - who also has dementia. I found $800 (in $100's) cut up with scissors and in the garbage can at her house one day. (She always had that 'back money' people talk about.) She didn't remember doing it.

The bank exchanged it after we taped it all back together. A miracle it wasn't just thrown out.
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I'm going to assume for the moment that the money was actually stolen. What does your mother need cash money for? By law, at least in ny there has to be a locked drawer on safe in an AL room. Can your mom keep her money there? Whatever she thinks she needs cash for, I would try to arrange to pay for by credit card over the phone.
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Well she is not that crazy yet to do something like that. She is. Not supposed to take any money out of her trust she has there, but she forgets. We did put a restriction on her only taking out $50 at a time once a week then we told not to take any of it out but that is not working. We will just have to take it all out I guess so she can not get a hold of it. So sad!
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"Well, she is not that crazy yet to do something like that."

Neither was my mom, Sweetpeas.
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Okay I do admit they do some pretty strange things which are hard for us to understand. It is so frustrating!!
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its hard to tell what the elder is up to when your not there . my aunt has a 12 pack of a & w root beer missing . im sure shes giving them to other guests . i s'pect they have quite a black market going on ..
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Sweetpeas, I think that you mom's dementia may be advancing beyond the point where she can handle money.
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Ba8 she doesn't need any money she just thinks she does in case she needs it. She never goes shopping unless she is with me and I have her money. We did search her room to see if it had been stashed somewhere but with no luck. The people there all see, so nice.... I guess you just never know! :(
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Ba8 you are right but it is not her fault that it was stolen. No one should be going through her stuff without her consent ever!! This is just wrong but it happens all the time am sure. It just really sucks when it happens to you.
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Sweetpeas, my mom always thought things were being stolen. They were always in her room . I agree that it would suck is someone was stealing. Do ALL the staff have master keys? That seems unlikely. You might sit quite with management and ask if there is someone new hired? In the meantime, give mom Sigler and arrange to pay for other stuff in advance.
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My MIL accused my FIL of stealing cash from her last summer. When we were cleaning the vacay home this year I found it behind a chair in her room.. never would have found it except my Mom moved the chair to clean Maybe it fell out of her purse. or she hid it. Check around, it may turn up in a wierd place.
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Sweetpeas, thinking things have been stolen is extremely common in dementia. This happens with people who are living in their own homes with no one coming in but family. I know I had $50 (my watch, my glasses, my hearing aid) and now I don't. Someone stole it.

What generally really happens is "I'm worried that someone will steal my X. So I'd better hide it." "Oh no, X is gone. See? Someone stole it!" Sigh. Some of the hiding places result in permanent loss (the tissue box gets thrown out).

Or the person gives it away and forgets that she did. Or she sets it down on the dining table and the equally demented lady sitting next to her gets up to leave, thinks it is hers, and takes it.

Or, of course, a staff person with a master key could be sneaking into rooms hoping to find one or two residents who actually have cash in their rooms.

I wouldn't put money that the staff person did it.

I know a caregiver daughter who bought THREE replacement glasses for her mom's that were "stolen." Eventually 2 of the missing pairs did show up.

I am sorry that this is happening. I am sorry about all aspects of dementia.
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When he was about 50, my husband was SURE someone had gotten into our home and stolen $500 while we were gone on vacation. He looked where he was certain he'd put it when we got home, and it was gone. We tore that house UP looking for it. No dice. He suspected his own family and mine!! Lordy!

Six months later, I moved a straw chest in our family room because we were pulling up the area rug . . . there it was, nestled snug as a bug.

And then he remembered. He put it one place, then thought better of it -- and very last minute moved it under that chest. Someone explained to us that he was in such a rush, hardly thinking about doing it, that it never went from his short-term memory to long-term storage.

If one can do that at 50, imagine what a dementia'd old person can do. I would never ever ever accuse staff of taking something of my mom's unless I saw them do it.

But that's just me.
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Why does everyone believe that the money was not stolen ? It is not in her room where she left it and the room has be searched. It is not in her room! Here
Today gone tomorrow. money can not just disappear overnight unless it is being taken.
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because sweetpeas,
old people do irrational things . my mom accused me of stealing 700 bucks . of course she had stashed it in her rolling walker lid . dementia patients squirrel things ( everything ) away for safekeeping . my moms last year of life was a constant task of finding things shed hidden . no capacity for short term memory . my aunt uses the restroom before we go outside at nh then tells me she meant to use the restroom seconds later .. things get stolen in nh but things get misplaced or given away too .. its a tough call as to which ..
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Sweetpea, it's because accusing people of stealing is a very serious thing to do. Your mom has dementia. Period. She cannot be trusted to recollect. Nor can she be trusted to do logical things.

You've now accused staff of stealing, you're spreading the word, your damaging their reputation, AND YOU DON'T KNOW. You have a number of people on this thread telling you that dementia patients do very strange things. Instead of giving staff the benefit of the doubt and simply making sure the opportunity isn't presented again, you've chosen to go to war.

She flushed it down the toilet...she gave it away...she threw it away...she tucked it behind a couch cushion in the common room to keep it safe...she stuffed it inside a book or magazine...hid it in the newspaper...she put it on her food tray under a plate...orrrr someone might-have could-have maybe stolen it.

You've already said she doesn't need money there. Don't give her any more. Problem solved.
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Can yo put some kind of camera system in the room? Probably not. My grandmother had clothes stolen all the time until aunt put her last name in sharpie pen across the back of them. they didn't like her last name, i guess. It stopped. Cash that is harder to track. Perhaps, get smaller bills, $5.00 bills. Do not give them an ATM card or other debit card. Give them cash when they think they may need it, or set up an agreement with in-care needs ie; hair dresser etc.. Perhaps a pre-paid card or out of facility travels?
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Maybe write on back of pre-paid card, the name of person, and MUST SEE ID. It may help.
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Sweetpeas, I definitely believe that money was stolen.

I had a patient in a facility who had dementia and she was interested in geneology, had done extensive research on her family before she became ill. Her niece asked my opinion on getting my patient an iPad. I told the niece that I thought it would be stolen.

A month or so goes by and nothing happened to it. I taught her how to use it (sort of) and she enjoyed pecking away at it. One day I come in and it was gone along with the charger. I searched the room. I reported it to the facility and they searched the room. It was gone. I didn't feel like gloating exactly because my patient was very upset but I thought it was careless to bring in a $600 computer into a facility where anyone can waltz into the room and take it. I'm sure it was one of the staff, without a doubt. And we had the iPad hidden too and someone still got to it.

If your mom had large bills and then several smaller bills and it was the larger bills that were taken that would lend credence to the certainty that it was stolen and not misplaced.

When my dad was in the NH he wanted some money on him. He said he'd feel better if he had some money so I gave him a $20 bill. The next day it was gone. I believe he stashed it away somewhere and forgot where he put it and I never gave him more money than he could afford to lose after that.
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Whether you want to believe it or not MaggieMarshall money DOES get STOLEN from places like this all the time. I am not pin pointing it on any specific person, but is has been happening to other residents as well just recently. This site has always been positive not mean and degrading. Know I feel worse than I did.
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Eyerishlash and Ilovemom thanks for your advice. I did think it was strange that if she was going to do something with the money she would have taken it all out and not leave $4 in her wallet. The person that took it took the four ten dollar bills and left her the four ones so she would think "maybe I didn't take out my $50 this week". She hasn't had any money in her wallet for a couple months since the last time it was stolen but this week she had taken it out of her trust because she wanted to have some money in case she needed it. We will have to take it all out so she can't do that again, but it is not her fault it was stolen.
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Don't feel bad because of comments here! They are based on personal experience or beliefs; certainly not a reflection of you. The rehab my Mom was in for a few weeks was very nice but we were told don't leave money; however, the jewelry most of those elderly women wore would have been of more concern for me.

There were some mobile residents who would wander and go through night stands and things setting around. The nurses were always chasing someone down to check their pockets or walker baskets. One gentlemen collected paper cups! It is just a different world these dear ones live in.
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Do an open records request through the police department for all records / reports of theft at that facility in, say, the last 6 months or a year. That will tell you if there's a problem or if it's just your mom. (Yes, other people could have been intimidated out of making reports, but not all of them.) Also check with the state agency overseeing the facility, request copies of problem reports from them.

And don't let her have cash or any valuables. Doesn't matter if she's the problem or if there are dishonest or desperate (low-paid) workers, if there's no cash there it won't disappear.
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And if she insists she needs to have some cash, get some fake/play money, or make slightly smaller color copies of real money (so it's legal, can't be mistaken for real by people in their right minds). Maybe even make the fronts one denomination & the backs all $1. Or $2, those were neat.
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Good advice MKEgal I will look into those suggestions the open records report and the state agency. I also like the idea of the "conterfeit" play money idea! :)
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Sweetpeas, if I made you feel bad, I'm sincerely sorry. This is a terrible disease, dementia, and we are not clinicians or experts; were just troops in the trenches, just like you are. We've been here for a while and can only offer what's happened to us. As you've seen, there are people who've been in facilities where there is theft and places where that is not what is happening. Read the responses and decide for yourself which ones fit mom's situation.
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