My mom tests my limited patience nearly every day, but she's actually mild mannered and easy compared to many of the experiences posted about here.
However, there is one thing that sets her off once in a while. She usually starts out asking if we are "charging" her enough money each month. She says she wants to pay her fair share, especially since I do so much for her. (We have a signed agreement, per her lawyer of what she pays and what it covers, but she no longer remembers signing it.) Sometimes it ends there, but sometimes, later in the day, she come at me, verbally, demanding to know why we charge her anything, swearing that when my sister or I lived at home as adults that we didn't pay rent (not true) and that she didn't charge her parents (her mom never lived with her, but her dad did). I don't know if that's true, but I cannot imagine my grandfather, a proud man, would have mooched off his daughter.
The thing is, this is the only topic she becomes verbally aggressive over. There are other things she digs her heels in over, but nothing that causes he to be so nasty. She almost "rushes" me and demands I explain her finances to her, what we use her money for, etc. It's been like this since she moved up here 2 years ago. One of the earliest instances was months before her being diagnosed with dementia where she came into my room after I'd laid down for the night and loudly demanded I explain what I was doing with her money.
At any rate, it happened again a few evenings ago - a day after she asked if she was paying us enough for her upkeep. She "rushed" behind me insisting I explain why we were charging her any money at all and we went round again. I got hurt and upset that she was accusing me of misusing her money and we got into an argument. After several minutes I refused to discuss it anymore. She apologized the next morning, but I know it's only going to happen again eventually.
Is money obsession common with dementia? Does anyone else have this problem? And if so, how do you handle it?