Hello: My mother had BK amputation in late May. Her personality has always been "difficult" & I think because of that, she was discharged from the hospital 1&1/2 days after surgery. Unprepared, my sister & I tried to take care of our mother at my mother's ill-equiped home for 3 days. (poor plumbing - questionable water, no air, etc). Add in a psycho brother, psycho sister-in-law & psycho adult nephews living next door - the situation became impossible. On day 3 after calling 911 on my psycho brother it was obvious that my sister & I were in over our heads. I didn't feel safe at our mother's house with the psychos next door & my mother's behavior was difficult for my sister & me to manage. To make matters worse, I live 75 miles away from my mother's home.

For several years, my sister has been working part time at an assisted living facility. Because of all the issues, we took our mother to the assisted living facility on day 4.

In June, my mother was in the hospital for approx. 5 days - during that time she paid full room & board at the assisted living facility ($3000.00 per month for semi-private). I paid the assisted living facility for June & July room & board in early June ($6000.00).

In July, she was in the hospital for 2 weeks - again paying full room & board to the assisted living facility while being in the hosp for those 2 weeks. I agreed to paying the full room & board as it kept her bed "available" while she was in the hospital.

Then on Aug. 17th, my mother's physician deemed her care at the assisted living facility "questionable" - because of my mother's monthly hospitalizations & because of her non-healing stump wound. My mother needed IV antibiotics & despite the Assisted Living owner claiming she had licensed RNs to administer the antibiotics, my mother's physician as well as my sister & me knew that in truth no-one working at the assisted living facility was licensed in anyway - there are no RN's or LVN's on staff PERIOD. We don't think any of the staff are trained CNA's - my sister isn't. So, my mother's physician found a nursing home that would accept our mother with her "bad" behavior & fully licensed for all medical care. My sister & I told the owner of the assisted living facility that we didn't want her to hold our mother's bed & that we wanted a reimbursement on the remaining days in August. I paid the $3000.00 room & board for August in late July. The reimbursement amounts to approx. $1200.00. Shorthly thereafter the owner provided me with a statement reflecting the amt of the Aug reimbursement with her hand written note saying that she'd reimburse me in a "few" weeks.

I called the owner last week - Sept. 25th - 39 days after my mother left the facility - & I asked her when I could expect the reimbursement as my mother has hefty bills to pay. The owner plays the "god" card all the time. It's so degrading and disrespectful. "god will provide", "i don't have the money but god will see that i get it for you", "i don't know why god doesn't give me the money because "he" gave me this vision and i'm doing his work", yada yada yada - so now, I have to figure out how to get my mother's $1200.00 back. Any recommendations?

My mother is getting good care at the nursing home & she's thriving. She has dementia & has been diagnosed with psychosis. A psychiatrist sees her in the nursing home. Her Primary Care Physician also sees her in the nursing home. Her wound is slowly healing. She's gaining weight & looking good. The nursing home is well maintained & the staff is a mixture of RN's, LVN's, CNA's & regular staff. While the facility is still approx. 75 miles from my home, I try to see her at least once a week - sometimes two or three times - I don't mind the drive. The only downfall is that because of my mother's psychotic behavior, she has to have a private room & that costs approx. $5000.00 per month ($163.00 per day). A semi-private is approx. $123.00 per day. The plan is to have her re-evaluated in January 2013 to see if she qualifies for semi-private room at the lesser cost. Even still, the cost is approx. $50,000.00 to $60,000.00 per year. My sister & I are concerned about all of my mother's savings being used up fast on her nursing home room & board. My mother will never qualify for medicaid as I've been told by my mother's attorney that there's a "look back" period - and because of my mother's assets - it will be many years before she qualifies.

I feel that she's getting the best of care in the nursing home & my sister and I agree that neither of us are able to care for her as well as the nursing home - but if she runs out of money - our only option is for her to live with me. My mother has enough cash for approx. two years of nursing home care - so I have at least two years to figure something out? Kate

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