Mom’s Sweepstakes Obsession! What to do?

I went through this madness with both my parents until I was able to get total control of the mail and finances. That really is the only solution.

My Mom would agonize for hours over all the junk mail charities trinkets and trash. The phone scams were the worst. I was able to shut a couple down just in the nick of time.

With your mom you might try bringing her the junk mail, let her muck around with it, fill out some forms etc, and go through the motions of mailing for her. Then off to recycle ya go. I used to have mom’s fav grandson visit her and sneak out most of the junk mail. In dealing with dementia you have to be sly and do what has to be done.

How frustrating - for both of you. I agree with you no longer giving them to her. Or is there some way for her to "play" without her actually wasting her money? Like "fake" checks for her to use? Or give them to you to "mail", by not allowing her any stamps?

Good luck.

Doing sweepstakes requires some intelligence. I guarantee you, she is filling the void in her life up. The thing to do, if you have the time, look over the sweeps & if they are harmless give them to her, but if they are trying to swindle her, go to the FTC or Consumers Protection for help & report it. Also, those who are trying to swindle her get them to remove her address off their mailing list. I would start logging down all these creeps & keep a record of it. Bingo is boring. Maybe, she would like writing or researching something. Be kind to her, because someday remember you will age to. Frustrating, I understand, but as one ages, some people purpose are deleted & they might not feel like they have any value or purpose.

How does mail go out where Mom is living now? If you gave her all the junk mail and an old checkbook for an account no longer active or maybe have some made up without an account number at the bottom (do they do that?) and let her do her thing. When they come around to collect mail or she gives it to someone to mail, you could even create a box or something to be put in the cafeteria or somewhere meant for mail that never actually goes out?

Wow! Rehearsing her acceptance speech! Now that’s just precious. Maybe just go with that. OMG MOM YOU WON! Get a cake have a party. Show her a big fake check.

On second thought, that’s maybe too much. I’m all for fibbing but may not be good to have dementia theater.

Many sweepstakes don't require purchases. Can you keep them and ask to be removed from the mailing list for all of the others?

Ah, yes!!  Been there, did that!  My mom told me about two years prior to being diagnosed with dementia that she was in trouble and thought that she was being scammed.  I offered to help her, TRIED to get her to let me help her, and she refused.  Then, when she was diagnosed with dementia, I had the wonderful task of trying to undo the scam that indeed she was entangled with.  I wrote letters, returned unopened things sent to her by this well known scam operation, sent scathingly HOT letters to them telling them to come and get what they claim she had not paid for or that I had not returned.  I finally got the guardianship attorney involved, she wrote them a letter, and it finally stopped after nearly three years after my mom mentioned it to me.  It was one of the worst periods of my care of her because I was fighting other things as well that she gotten herself into, and it has taken me nearly 3 years since becoming her POA and Guardian to finally gain control over everything.  I have earned EVERY gray hair I have on my head from all of this!

Tell her she is no longer receiving this type of mail because she moved. My Mom was obsessed with this as well. She was still living by herself at the time and I would drive down to visit once a month to take care of bills or other things that she needed help with. I would go through her mail and find stacks of this. Publishers Clearing House was probably one of the worst. She constantly bought crap from them thinking she could win. The turning point was when I discovered she was being scammed over the phone from Jamaica. Thank gosh she lived in a small town. The bank tellers where she banked called me and said she had withdrawn $6000 from her savings because she said she won a contest and she needed to send them this money so she would receive $250 Mil and a new Mercedes but not to tell anyone. I knew then it was time to move her in with me. Mom lived with me for 2.5 years and now resides in a Memory Care Facility just 10 minutes from me. I’m pretty sure she was scammed out of thousands of dollars a couple hundred at a time. She kept all her receipts so there was a money trail when I started going through all of her papers.
Unfortunately they all think they’re going to win. Best of luck!

It is imperative that you tell her a little fib - they've lost your address, they no longer send out mail to people, ANYTHING. Stop it now.

The problem here isn't the junk coming in the mail, it is dealing with mom's obsession (regarding others suggesting diverting her mail, getting her off the lists, etc.) OP has already taken over finances and mail.

IF your mother has no way to mail them out (and hopefully no phone to make/take calls), I would give them to her. Let her fill them out and either give them to you to mail into the circular file OR as someone else suggested, have a special box for outgoing mail (which obviously won't be going anywhere!) You CAN actually buy phony checks (made for kids) - you could give her those with the sweepstakes junk mail, to keep her happy and occupied! Just be sure the care-givers are on board and can keep up the charade.

If that isn't a viable option, the best you can do is tune it out. Change the subject if possible. Tell her you'll bring them in next time, or that none came in the mail...

Once fixated on something, it is hard to get around it. It may take a while before she loses that (mom harped at my YB for 9 months about going back to her condo, then fixated on her previous home AND her mother!) Thankfully she was never one to do those sweepstakes or gambling. The few donations she made in the past? They have FOLLOWED her to my PO box (when I took over, I had her mail/bills forwarded to my box.) I get so much crap in the mail in her name! The condo was unoccupied for quite some time and the junk phone calls/messages!!! Once you are on ONE mailing/calling list, you are on ALL mailing/calling lists and they will follow you to hell!! She's been in MC for over 2.5 years, no mail, no phone and I took over finances well before that, so they get nothing, yet they still continue to send this crap. I love the ones saying her car warranty is expiring and she needs to contact them to buy extended - we sold that car in 2015 if not 2014!! Funny too that no make/model/year is listed. Clearly it is a scam.