My mother came to live with us a few months after my father's death. She does have some dementia, but has always had a lot of paranoia, negativity and "extreme know it allism".
The real issue right now is her negativity. No matter the topic of conversation or the event she finds something negative to the point of bazaar. Her negativity seems to be automatic, and it is there for every subject discussed, every decision made, every purchase no matter how small there is something wrong with the item or brand, every meal, every person she meets or knows is sharply criticized ,no matter how minor or major, she seems to get some sort of sick and perverse pleasure out of ruining every possible opportunity for even the tiniest ray of sunshine.
She is driving our children and grandchildren away with her venom, spoiling every visit. I could give pages of examples in just a 24 hour period. She disagrees with every sentence out of anyone's mouth. She manages to contort everything in a way to find something negative or bad that might come from even the simplest thing.
I thought maybe I was overreacting, so I paid close attention all day today. There was not one single event or topic from 8 AM -9 PM when she went to bed that she did not figuratively dowse with ice water. I know it is not all the dementia she has a look of complete evil satisfaction every time she manages to spoil a happy moment.
It is impossible to ignore. We have all tried to look for ways to give her praise for positive behavior and make her feel needed, loved, and appreciated, she doesn't seem to enjoy positive attention half as much as ruining everyone's good mood. She is sucking the life out of everyone around her. We do know that in most situations she can still associate consequences with behavior. What reward is she finding in doing this to us? How do we discourage this? Any suggestions are appreciated.
P.S. If this is caused by depression we are in a bad position as she will under know circumstances take anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds.