Follow
Share

Mom is in a nursing home and has been since Sept 2013. She is on Medicaid and Medicare, the NH receives her full Social Security check. 2 months ago the nurse calls me and tells me Mom's formulary has changed and one of her Meds is no longer covered and it will be an 'out of pocket ' expense..... my pocket at $149.00 per month for 30 pills for 30 days. I've been getting the meds on my own from the pharmacy and delivering them to the NH every month. Saturday the NH calls me to say she is out of meds again, it's only been two weeks since I delivered the last 30 pills. I questioned them and they said they would investigate, I drove the 70 mile round trip to the pharmacy and they gave me 5 pills until the heart doctor could re-new her prescription. Today is Monday and the NH again calls me to say Mom is out of medicine. Then they told me the NH doctor upped the dosage to two a day, I called the NH doctor and ask him if he upped the dosage to 2 a day he said no he did not and ask how many months has she been running short on this med I told him this is the first month. This is a heart medication that her heart doctor prescribed to her long before she went into the nursing home. So I called the heart doctor to verify the correct dosage, it is one per day. The heart doctor did not up the dosage and has requested that she be brought in for an appointment since it has been a year that he has seen her and she needs to be seen every 3 months. The NH doesn't want to take her because she is difficult to handle and they want only the NH doctor to handle her care. The NH doctor told me he goes by what the heart specialist advises and follows his recommendations on Mom's treatment. The Nh doctor only sees Mom every 2 months. Obviously Mom is not receiving the proper care since for the last nearly 3 weeks now has been overdosed daily on her heart meds. Also one of her ($5000.00 per pair) hearing aids is missing the the other one they left in her ear when they washed her hair so now it doesn't work either, I have had to buy her batteries for the hearing aids since she was taken inot the NH. I called the place where I got her hearing aids and ask if they could replace them, they told me not without a new hearing test. I truly don't know that Mom would understand taking a hearing test at this stage of her Dementia. They lost all her clothes except for what she had on and she ended up wearing those for several days before I realized all her clothing was gone. For two days I, myself, had to go through every patients closet in the NH to locate Mom's clothes. I never did find all of them. I ended up having to go buy her $300.00 worth of clothes, underwear and shoes and night gowns and house robes... Everything!! I pay for her to have cable TV in her room and bought her a TV.... the original remote went missing and now the new replacemnet remote is missing.. I've had to replace 2 pessery rings, this is a prescription item also, to the tune of $120.00 each and now her glasses are missing as well. One of the male patients comes into her room at night time and tries to kiss her, she is scared to even go to sleep. Yes I have told the NH administrator and he laughs it all off saying he'll look into it yet nothing is never done. What can I do??? I have to work and I can't leave her alone in my house while I work, I do not make enough money to hire somebody to stay with her while I work. I am so scared and so worried about Mom. PLEASE somebody advise me. What options do I have, this is the only NH for a 50 mile radius of my home and I'm not so sure any of those would be any better. I am all she has there is nobody else to help me at home with her. I feel like because she has Dementia she is a second class citizen, she worked her whole entire life and to be treated this way just rips my heart out and I can't do a d*mn thing about it. Pleas God help me help her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Not sure if this will help, but NH's are licensed by the State. There should be a sign posted somewhere in the NH that indicates where you can write with any complaints. You may also need to look into getting legal advice. Perhaps Legal Aid can help. I would document everything, and include names, dates and receipts. Keep writing different agencies and calling Senior Advocates until you can get some help. I feel for you. Perhaps your persistence can help turn this NH around.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I'm sorry you're going through all this, on top of providing care for your mom. If I were you, I would get a notebook and start recording everything... incidents, dates they occur, date you spoke to someone at the NH, their name, any actions taken, etc. As for past dates & incidents, just record them in chronological order as best as you can from memory. Sometimes, looking at your datebook may help jog your memory (as in, the "kissing incident" occurred on the day you did this, etc.).
Then, go to your local department of aging or elder services (you can google these) and get a caseworker to sit down with, and go over all these transgressions with them. The part about your mom being scared to sleep b/c of the kissing neighbor and the NH not taking the complaint very seriously is unacceptable. I'm sure that once you do this, you will start to see some improvements. The important thing here, is to record everything in writing and take pics w/ your cell phone, when you visit.. anything and everything. You need to provide evidence and a trail, and once you report this NH & the staff & administrator's ineptitude, the Dept. of Ageing or Elder Services should look into it.
Unfortunately, certain things going missing is probably not going to be a huge deal to them... my mom has early stage dementia, is in an excellent Assisted Living facility, and unless we write her name on everything (sheets, towels, underwear, etc.), things do go missing or get mixed up in the laundry. I think it's the nature of the beast. We don't keep anything of value in mom's room. Being the nearest one to her (20 min. drive), I keep all her ID cards, etc. and bring them, anytime she needs them. We took care of most of her financial & business needs by having someone pay all her bills, so she really doesn't need any cards or money anyway, except for pocket money when she goes on group outings. Anything of value, mom either gave away before she entered her Assisted Living or has them at my place.
Best of luck to you. It's a horrific & emotional ordeal what you're going through, but your best ammunition will be to be calm, record everything and then file a complaint with the proper channel.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

First let me say that you are a wonderful care warrior for your mom! Now a couple other things...Call the NH Administrator and list each of your concerns. Write them down so you don't forget any of the above things you told us about. The NH should have a social worker on staff to help with cost issues regarding meds and hearing aids, etc...Also, if you get no where with the social worker, contact the manufacturer of your mom's meds and see if she can get them for free based on her income. You will need to fill out a form and the doctor will have to sign it. Don't go through a company to do this as they all charge a fee. You have already spent a lot of your own money which you will never get back. Good luck to you and come back and tell us how you and your mom made out!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Isn'tEasy, just a comment on prescribing drugs which are covered, especially cardiac ones...

My father's treating cardiologist prescribed a specific med for my father. His VA "primary care" physician decided to change it to another med. I contacted our cardiologist who said he definitely did not want the substitute medicine; it wasn't that appropriate for my father's condition at the time.

Several years later we learned from my father's neurologist that the med the VA doctor wanted my father to use has side effects which can cause neuropathy, loss of taste and loss of sense of smell. My father had developed all three of those problems.

So substitution isn't always possible, save or advisable.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Agree with the documentation advice; someone on the staff will notice and spread the word to "be careful - she's documenting!" Still, follow up with advocacy and ombudsman agencies. I don't know if APS would become involved in an institutional setting, but you could try.

I assume you have ID labels ironed onto her clothing, and labels glued onto her other property?

I would also start looking at other facilities, even if this one is the only one in a 50 mile radius. That might be exactly why they get away with the poor treatment you describe. Even if you have to drive farther, if your mother gets better treatment you might be able to spread out your visits.

In the past I've arranged to come in and work on a Saturday to compensate for time taken off during the week for family medical issues. Perhaps you could try that.

Also, investigate the Family Medical Leave Act - perhaps your employer would allow you to take off time periodically just to get your mother into a better facility and visit rather than several weeks consecutively.

As to the heart meds, even though it's difficult she really should see her cardiologist, if only to reaffirm that her condition hasn't changed and that she wasn't affected negatively by the dosage mixup at the nursing home.

And unfortunately it seems you'll have to comparison shop for the meds unless you change the Part D coverage.

CVS Pharmacy did have a prescription plan with flat rates on 90 day supplies of selected meds. I left them and went with Sav-on Drugs because it was the only pharmacy I found that could provide the few meds my father needed that were still manufactured in the US. Too many others were supplying meds from emerging market countries.

Also try any local hospitals; two in this area have their own pharmacies, sell directly to patients, and one has a discount for seniors.

When I read these posts about someone being the only one visiting someone in a facility, I keep wondering if there are some options for drop-in visitors from churches or some type of caring agency. When my father was in a long-term care facility 30 miles from where I lived, I contacted the local group of his church and they sent members to visit with him.

It seems as though this is an area that's been untouched in the whole caregiving issue.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Please follow the above advice.Something is "definitely wrong in Denmark".You need a state ombudsman to check into this.Contact your state's resources.They will immediately send someone to investigate.This is so wrong on so many levels.You need also to get a lawyer for the elderly.Someone is pilfering pills.I worked in the medical field and there are things I could tell you that would make your hair gray...so get on that phone and call..good luck
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Contact the local long term care ombudsman right away. The ombudsman is an advocate for your mother. If your mother has medicare and Medicaid and the physician writes an order for an item or treatment I thought Medicaid would cover the cost; there are the occasions where pre-authorization is required and the physician can do this. Is there an assisted living facility closer to you, maybe you can apply for waiver services and they would cover the cost of assisted living. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging, senior center or Bureau of Senior services, they can advise you on how best to help your mother. Her clothing and her medications should not come up missing, something sounds not right in that nursing home. I know it is difficult trying to keep up with everything, the Area Agency on Aging will have knowledgeable staff that can offer you support and assistance.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Pilfering pills? That's scary, not only because of the financial abuse but the fact that the meds might be in an area not subject to lock-up.

Sajones, if you do move your mother to another facility, you might want to consider contacting the local police and telling them about the med situation. If there's theft, there could also be black market resale.

Our last 2 rehab experiences were with a chain with several facilities in Michigan. After some research and on-site interviewing, I chose the one with the best reputation, about 50 miles from my house.

One of the practices which was new to me was that the meds were kept in the top, locked, drawer of the patient's dresser, in his/her room. Other than taken out for administration, they never left the drawer. I thought that was a much better way of handling med administration than what I had seen to be the apparently typical way of pushing a large cart filled with meds.

When we left the first time, the nurse gave us the balance of the meds, as they couldn't be used for any other patient. The second time, a different nurse didn't want to give out the meds but finally gave us some and kept others. Since they couldn't be administered to any other patient, I was suspicious but after thinking about what would be necessary to investigate theft, I decided my limited time would be better focused on helping my father recover from his second hip fracture.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Tiny 450 is spot on about pilferage of medications. Follow the suggestions about contacting ombudsman, state agency which licences nursing homes, etc. They will take the complaint very seriously. All the other things --- who knows; the cost of the meds --- who knows. But mismanagement of medications, that is, the disappearance of part of her prescriptions, brings out inspectors in force. When you report it be sure to mention that the facility receives funds from Medicare and Medicaid. Apparently that makes any malfeasance more serious.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I would start to look for a better NH. none of what you babe posted should be the norm. the 1st NH my FIL was in was like the one you described his clothes and shoes would go missing every 2 weeks. it took me 8 mos to find a new place (so glad we did) . until then when I got the new clothes I took my sewing machine and embroidered his name on every stitch of clothing even sox and underwear. host shoes on the side of the shoe in permanent marker his name. after that nothing "disappeared " again.

I've never encountered a situation where you had to use only the NH des. definitely a written complaint to the NH and state each and every time you have an issue.

I actually put in writing to the nursing home that every time a med was adjusted, added or changed that I had to see the dr orders and if it wasn't covered by his insurance then it wasn't to be used and a med that does the same thing but is covered was to be ordered. you may have to be a real pain to get them to comply but the will eventually do it.

our best day was the day he moved to the new NH.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter