Mom's cats??

I have my mom's dog and 2 cats to go along with my cat and 5 turtles. I had not planned on getting any more pets after mine died, but I didn't plan to being a POA and Guardian for my mom and for my mom to need for me to be her POA and Guardian, either. So, I signed to take care of my mom, her property and assets. I am honoring all of these things. The cats drive me nuts because they are PIBs. My animals were trained NOT to be PIBs. This is a difficult situation because no one wants them, they are old, and I am old. But...I am always on the side of the animals, so I will endure them. When they are gone, I won't be replacing any of them. They will be reminders of my mom when she is gone, and my mom is a PIB as well. So.....what to do? Endure and honor and promises I made.

I have four dogs. When Mom passed, I inherited my Dad, his two dogs, and her two cats. : ) My Dad's dogs are all he has left, and Mom's cats meant the world to her so I took in everyone. Yes, my house feels like a zoo sometimes, and it can be hard to keep up. I won't lie, some days are overwhelming, but somehow we make it work. My Dad's dogs make him smile, and get up in the morning. My recommendation is to give it a try before separating your mother from her cats. It may not be a bad as you think.

Take them to place that someone who is a cat lover can adopt them. Hugs 🤗

As` a lifelong cat owner and rescue volunteer, I can say that many times, cats urinate outside the box due to a poor , dry food diet that causes bladder inflammation and sometime urinary infection. Switch all the cats to a canned diet, no fish. Fancy Feast CLASSICS are decent. No other foods from your grocery store, they're not very good quality brands. Bring each cat to the vet for a urinalysis, it's easy for the vet to get a urine sample. For 3 cats, you need 2 litter boxes.Keep the litter boxes very clean, scoop daily, unscented litter. This should help very much. When you bring her cats to your house, keep them all together in a separate room from the dogs, with food/water and litter boxes, and allow them weeks or days to adjust gradually. Pets are very important to elders and promotes a healthier mind and body. Best wishes.

There really is no compromise if you can't take them. Hopefully you will be able to find them a loving home. Does your Mom have any friends who would adopt them? If so, perhaps she can visit them. They may have to be separated.

The humane societies are full of older pets that have been given up for that very reason. The owner is going into a nursing home, having to move or even passes away.  It is a sad situation, but I certainly understand that you cannot take on your mother's pets.  I agree with another poster that it would be easier to mover her to an assisted living facility that allows a cat or dog, but I am sure they come with the stipulation that your mother is capable of taking care of the cat on every level.  I doubt they will allow multiples....

I'm sorry. Good Luck.

My son's in-laws have ten indoor cats in the house and about 30 outdoor cats that live in the garage during the winter. Her house does not smell as she cleans the litter boxes non-stop. But my son has warned them, if they die first, or move in with them, the cats will not be moving in with them and their four cats. So the in-laws said, "No problem. Since we live a mile down the road we'll just keep (or you guys can) the house and the cats can stay there." It may work for them but glad it's not me having to deal with that.

I lived with my mom for almost 5 years, took care of her for 7. I took my cat with me to her house and my cat and her dog got along great. The main reason I didn't move my mom to assisted living in all those years was because of the dog. She said often that the dog was her favorite child and I could see that the attachment was huge. The assisted living places wouldn't take the dog. The dog was wonderful, but the home care people and I took care of the dog, cleaned up the yard, fed her, walked her, played with her, took her to the vet, everything, because Mom could no longer remember how to do those things. When the dog died she actually forgot she ever had the dog in about 2 days. I thought she'd be devastated and I guess in a way she was because she went down hill quickly. The dog had helped her to have something to "take care of", even though she did none of the care herself. Exactly 2 months later I moved my mom to assisted living. I think your mom will miss the cats for a while, but maybe she'll bond with the dogs. By the way, vinegar worked best for me to remove cat urine smell. My son's cat did a thing to my house. OMG, how awful it is.

You're trying to move your mom in with you? Have you not read any of these topics on this forum?! What are you thinking?! Get her into an AL that will allow pets. (For what it's worth, I would rather die than leave my two cats.)

Many years ago my toddler son was diagnosed with asthma and we had 2 cats (9-yrs old) and had to get rid of them overnight due to him being allergic and going to ER due to asthma triggering. I tried everything to re-home them, even called PETA but even they said they were too old to accept. Back then there weren't any no-kill shelters. Since they were indoor/outdoor cats I found a hobby farmer who was willing to take them but not in the house (they had a barn). Not sure if this is an option for you, and you already have your plate full. I would never take your mom's cats into my home and create extra work and chaos for myself. Whatever solution you finally choose, don't feel guilty over it for 1 minute. You're already a saint for taking care of your mom.

Cat's urinating in the house leaves a simple answer: There's no room at the inn.

Couldn't you "take the cats to the vet" for their checkup and shots, and have to leave them there (when really you have given them to a rescue after their checkup and shots)? If your parent is in really bad shape and is incompetent, then this is what I would do. If not, then I'd respect their decision and stand firm on my house rules.

you are a good person to have your mom move in. This is a huge thing to do, and you have to be wise about how "giving" to be.
First of all, there is the cat urine. I tried to buy a house once that was in horrible shape due to cat urine everywhere, especially the basement. We had 4 different remediation companies come in to give estimates. The cost was close to 20K and none would guarantee that the smell would not return. So that kind of damage is a very real thing. I myself would not have 3 cats with urination problems come in and damage my home.
Second, do all you can to find good homes, shelters, etc for your mom's pets. this is a hard choice, but you have to be the grown up here. You are going to have to take care of yourself, your mom, your pets, and I don't know what or who else.
Maybe you can do the cat shed someone suggests below. If you can do that, it sounds like the compromise.
It's never good when someone who can't take care of pets, takes in animals. Now you are having that responsibility thrown on you. All I can say is trust yourself to do the most compassionate thing that you can. That might include bringing them to a shelter and hoping for the best. Honestly, any decision that you make is not one I would judge.

Heres two cats who are sick because old lady didnt know how to take care of them. Now they get punishef further ny killing them. Wow. I work in healthcare and see parents kill off their parents all the time. Hope karma gets them. I have 5 cats who were throw a ways. I put doors on kids playhouse for the leukemia cat. I also have a basement and dpare rooms. Where there is a will there's a way. At least get them vetted and throw them out. Many people feed stray cats. Better thsn killing them due to inconvenience. Had 1 neighbor who was coming to suffocate his cat i found. Said he retired in 2 days and if the cat runs off or dies who cares. The cat did run off. Nobody wantd to die due to inconvenience. When my dad died i said i would buy feed for his horse til the old horse died . my dad loved the horse. I did not send him to the glue factory.

I volunteered at a local cat (no-kill) shelter for 12 years. Shelters are bulging at the seams and most, if not all, of the workers are volunteers. I can tell you I saw many heartbreaking things. We did have owner-surrenders under the circumstances of an elder-owner who had died or was placed in a nursing home, etc. Most of the time the surrendered cat would hide, shut down, drop weight, and eventually die a slow death. Adopters never looked at them because they were mostly hidden/scared. It was a sad thing to watch.

We did have a woman pass away and her son contacted us about her 12-15 cats she had left behind. He made a donation to the shelter to build a separate cat house for them where they could live out their lives. It was wonderful: basically a portable garden shed with windows, then poured a cement slab next to it around which a screen/wire structure was built so the cats had indoor/outdoor living. Often it was my job to clean that portion of the shelter and the cats were very content being together in that way. After her cats died off (this was about 15 years ago), her "cat house" remained a loving tribute to the woman and her love for her cats and was home to many future homeless cats, many of which went on to loving homes.

I understand money may not allow such a thing. Honestly, in the absence of handing them off to a vetted home, these cats don't really have a future. If you live on acreage or in the country, maybe you could try them as outdoor cats (assuming they are fixed and not declawed). I can tell you it would be kinder than shelter life unless these are young and highly adoptable cats. If you take them to an animal control facility or a shelter, it's probably the end of the line for them. That being said, I can sympathize with your situation and there is no easy answer. My mom took in a neighborhood stray 10+ years ago - when we found it dead last year I was relieved because I was starting to wonder how I would take care of it if mom had to move from her home, as the cat had a rather nasty disposition.

I had a similar issue. However in my case, one of our dogs hates cats and would probably try to kill them, and more importantly, my husband is deathly allergic to cats. I tried to find someone who would take them, but it was the middle of summer and none of the rescues had room for 3 adult cats. Two days before we were set to head home from her house I took them to the pound. (Not an easy feat because the cats weren't socialized and my daughter and I had to practically pull the California king bed apart to get them.) Then we drove 30+ miles to the humane society complex. The cats were pretty unhappy (again, not socialized) that the person who took them said they might end up being euthanized - something I have never, ever, ever(!) told my mom. She promised to give then a couple of hours to see how they behaved, but that was all she could do. My daughter and I left, physically and metaphorically never looking back. My mom cried off and on for weeks afterwards. I just kept assuring her that they were beautiful cats (they were indeed) and that some one would adopt them all together. Eventually she stopped mentioning them. I think the last time she said anything about them was a year ago.

I hope better for you, but you have to stand your ground. It's your house. Be firm, but loving and understanding. Do what you can to find a rescue to take them since that is their best chance, but don't rule out having to take them to the humane society. Best of luck!

Cat has urinary tract infection. Vet can fix this. Rescues are full and dhrltrrs. Please keep cats.

Someone’s suggestion that peeing in the house may be an indication of a medical problem rather than simply untrained cats is worth looking into but if I’m reading between the lines properly this is not the only issue, a house with 3 cats and 2 dogs along with at least 2 people (one needing some care/help at best) sounds like too much to take on to me too! Perhaps there is a compromise, is there one cat that can live in peace with your dogs and is perhaps better trained that could move in, maybe the other two could either go together or separately to another family member or trusted friend. Your mom could and if possible should be involved in the decision and choice’s. Could the cats be indoor/outdoor cats, would that make things easier or have a separate entrance into and out of Mom’s room?

I do not think you are being selfish at all, you are being thoughtful, planning ahead and realistic even though you obviously want to be able to keep these pets with your mom. It just isn’t always possible and better to see that ahead of time, make thoughtful and major changes all together and good for you considering and trouble shooting ahead of time. If mom can’t be on her own anymore and needs or will soon need to move somewhere, something is going to have to change and happen to the cats whether that’s in with you or somewhere else, it sounds like that is the reality so don’t torture yourself. Just continue to be loving and thoughtful about what that will look like as you well know these cats are important to mom even if she isn’t caring for them as well right now.

keep up the good work!

I am very disturbed by these posts saying to just kill the cats.  That is unthinkable.  The mom can sign a legal written agreement with a local no-kill shelter, pay for a living stipend, so the cats can live out their lives and quite possibly get adopted with another family.  I would not anyone who responded to kill the cats to come near/visit my family; you are not to be trusted.

Hey, I never said, Don't re-home the cats! I've re-homed several. I LOVE cats (most of them).
The last cat took months of looking to find a good home. He was a "sweety"...beautiful,neutered, not old and with no bad habits. But the Humane Society here has an arbitrary rule of not taking cats over two years old ( I even offered them a nice donation!). The "cattery" here didn't have room. Other shelters, the same. I put an ad in the paper but will never offer an animal totally for free, fearing the motives of the "adopter". I even checked out surrounding counties.

That said, people have the right to "hate" cats if they want. I think such people suffer from a genetic defect, but that's just my opinion. One thing I firmly believe is that human family relationships take priority!

First my suggestion is not to have your mother move in with you. You will look back on this decision and regret it and try and find ways to regain your sanity. Everything you know and have now will change forever..... for the worse. Find an assisted living facility. Both of you will be better off.

Secondlythe cats.... if I could do it over again with my in laws having 5 cats..I would have insisted that we take at least 2 of them to a shelter. Having cats that urinate in the house is not acceptable. If you are forced to take them, which I don't believe you are, find a room like a patio that they can be isolated from the rest of the horse. Have it air conditioned/ heated.

I also know that cats urinate outside their litter boxes because of medical reasons and also when they see that there is something amiss or wrong with their owner. They may be detecting her illness and are reacting to it. Some cats have been known to isolate themselves when there is a change in their owners health or behavior.

I have 3 cats which are 100% indoors, with a mom with end-stage Alzheimer's and my cats have never urinated in the house because I had them fixed early and keep my litter boxes clean. They have never been a problem. But if you cannot deal with this the best thing is call your local vet and have them put down -- at least you know the vet will do it humanely. Animal control you have no idea what they will do. ALthough chances are you will end up getting rid of them using animal control. Whatever you do, don't dump them outdoors because cats cannot fend for themselves and will die a slow, horrible death due to parasites and diseases..or end up poisoned by the neighbors. I had stray cats poisoned by neighbors or hit by cars, which is why the buzzard and coyote population is getting bigger with so many cats to feed off of.

You already have so much stress with your mom moving in! If you can re-home them or find a shelter that will, fine. But whatever you do - don't take in the cats too.
Personally, I think bringing mom into your home isn't the best idea. I do believe in tiny lies, and I'd think up a good one to get her interested in assisted living instead.
We almost had my dad here - his hospital bed & everything else was already in my house. I knew it was a bad idea, and I had a feeling of dread hanging over me. His health took a turn for the worse so he had to stay in the rehab center longer, and I had my excuse. It was the truth too because I really couldn't lift him.
It's hard on us as caregivers when we have to help decide where our loved ones will go. It's harder still when we bring them into our homes - and find we have gotten to a point where we can't meet their needs. Then we have to break their hearts & find them a better arrangement, usually assisted living. How much better would it be if we just skipped the part where we have to do that?
If you're set on having mom at home, I wish you the best, and hope your family holds up well too. But no to the cats!

Are they urinating all over the house? Or in a litter-box?? Big difference.

I live in the country and my cats always went out to pee and poop. The litter-box was only for emergencies and for when I had to leave them overnight and a couple of weekends if I was traveling.

And I had 2 dogs and never a problem among them, once the dogs got used to the cats.

Please don't kill the cats! Give them to a no-kill shelter or find an organization that will re-home them. Don't keep them if you don't want them. Animals deserve better. And you shouldn't have to have them if you don't want them.

Conscience wise, look for a shelter. I have cats and I love dearly at least one of them, but they are strictly limited to a specific area of the house and don’t roam free. Contact the local shelters and try to find a humane place of re-homing the cats, rather than immediately resorting to “disposing” of them.

Also, do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to make sure that you have an alternate to having Mom move in with you, JUST IN CASE you find her physical issues too difficult to manage. She seems from your description to be quite involved physically, and you may soon find that her comfort and safety depend on round the clock care.

Heather, how urgent is it that you move your mother? And how old are the cats?

Teeny tiny lie? We've rehomed your cats / had them all euthanized.

I guess "teeny tiny" is a relative term, eh.

I agree with needhelpwithmom. Dosmo13 we heard you the first time. You don’t need to repeat yourself.

Not being unfair. If you hate cats, have them all put to sleep, humanely, and at your expense, by a vet. If you don't hate cats, try (but not too hard) to find a home or homes for them. Providing as stress-free a home as possible for your family and your mom are of paramount importance here. (God will forgive you a teeny, tiny lie to your mother, if that's what it takes).

If you like cats, tell mom she must choose one cat and ONLY one. Be firm. It's your home. Tell her the chosen one must make peace with the dogs, or the cat will have to go. (Sorry, I'm chuckling, as I write this. As an "animal lover" I just can't help it!) The litter box or boxes must be away from human traffic and MUST be totally inaccessible to the dogs! (try a top-entry litter box or one with a small labyrinth entry way.) Tell her that, for sanitary reasons, peeing or pooping outside the litter box more than "x" number of times (some time must be allowed for adjustment) will be grounds for eviction (... of the CAT, not Mom!). Remind her, that, seriously, the the Health Department could become involved otherwise.

Don't allow your mother (or her animals) to dominate your household! Remind her that you love her very much and that you know she loves her cats. Tell her you know she'll miss her "furr babies", but after all, the human family matters most. Tell her you want to make her feel valued and as comfortable as possible in the human family that she already has.
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So sorry. When I wrote this, I saw nothing about a HUSBAND in the original post. That detail changes everything! Please DO what husband wants (short of cat-ri-cide". Hiss and growl at me, criticize me for my levity, if you want, but I live in an independent living facility that allows pets, only small ones and only one per apartment. In fact, I believe that HUD now requires such accommodation in many senior buildings. Residents are required, of course, to keep designated "pet apartments" clean or hire a person to see to this.

I have no close relatives, none closer than a days drive away. And I am far from the only one here in this situation. Research has proven that pet dogs or cats can lower an owners blood-pressure and provide comfort, often more effectively than tranquilizers or pain meds. On the other hand, adding pets to a home can easily increase stress among both two-footed and four-footed residents and what sane person wants that?