Mom's cats??

Hello HK,
Get the cats checked out by a vet. There is the possibility that the cats have medical issues causing the urination issues. Further, in their current situation they may be stressed, and the urination issue could be ameliorated with diet and medication.

A vet can certainly give you guidance on how to make the move for these creatures less upsetting for all concerned-including your dogs.

While I understand and empathize with your issue, please consider that the cats are important to your mom, and deserve to be covered under the umbrella of your care and compassion for her.

As an aside, a friend of mine took his mother's semi-feral, much-loved cat when she had to go into a locked memory care facility. Initially it was a hassle, and upsetting to his other two cats, but water finds it own level and things eventually settled down. It gives him comfort to know he stepped up and did the right thing by his mom in caring for the little creature who she loved so dearly.

I wish you well.

there’s an easy fix for that...Dr. Fox talks about this all the time. Also buy some PH Neutralizer at the pet store.
Do a search on his website:
https://drfoxvet.net/category/pet-care/
Cat litter box issues - (here is an article I saved might help you)
Dear Dr. Fox: When it comes to litter boxes, I don’t understand the “rule” of one per cat, plus an extra. I have two litter boxes for my two cats, but both use the same one — even if it’s already been used. In my previous apartment, there was no room for more than one box, and even in the house where I had two boxes on each floor, they both used the same one most of the time. I use newspaper instead of purchasing litter; I started with shredded and now use whole sheets that they enjoy shredding themselves. It’s very absorbent and cuts the foul stool odor after a short while.
— I.I., Hendersonville, North Carolina
Dear I.I.: I do not know from which cat expert you received this advice about cat litter boxes, but my experts are my own cats. They will share a litter box amicably and without any complications — such as pooping outside the box — provided the box is cleaned out three to four times a day.
I feel for those poor cats whose boxes are not kept clean so they must poke around in their own waste to dig a pit to evacuate and then to cover. Just as bad is having to enter a covered box that has not been kept clean, filled with the fumes of acrid urine and feces. This does contribute to cats developing cystitis from holding their urine; to urinating elsewhere in the home, which is a death sentence for many cats; and to constipation and aversion of using the litter box.
For details, see my article “Cat Litter Box” on this complex but essential aspect of caring for cats posted on my website, DrFoxVet.net.

I have to say that the OP said that her mom takes really good care of the cats and they still go to the toilet outside the box.

I have a neighbor that has a cat that craps on her bathroom rug. It will come in after being outside for hours and do this. I don't think that is a medical problem, I think it is an attitude problem.

It is hard to change animals toilet habits. It can be done with a lot of attention and work, but I don't see how 3 could be dealt with.

Separating them might give them a chance.

What is it with cats? Why does no-one care about those poor mentally ill cockatiels?

If they urinate in the house, it could be because of filthy litter boxes (would you use a filthy bathroom-stinky, nothing flushed, dirty)? I doubt it. And second I'd have them all checked out with a veterinarian. What I would do first is get one litter box for each cat plus one extra. That is a known rule of thumb. KEEP THOSE BOXES IMMACULATE ON A DAILY BASIS. Put washable rugs underneath them to catch the litter. I would put them all into one room for a while with soft music playing and no curtains on the window or a chair where they could look outside. Go inside the room and feed them and play with them and make them feel comfortable - but keep those boxes very, very clean. I predict within a short time they will get used to you and their new surroundings and you can leave one out at a time and lavish attention on them. I think this situation will solve itself. At least give it a try - say for a month - to start. To not take the cats would be heartless to the cats and cruel to your mother. Please consider doing this before you do anything worse.

Here's a grand bargain or grand compromise that I suggest you offer your mother:

1. Mother, you can keep all of your cats.
2. Mother, you are not moving in with hubby and me.
3. Mother, you are going to use some of your money to pay for in-home services and transportation using Uber/Lyft/Taxicabs/Horse-and-buggy.
4. Mother, I will help you manage your personal affairs and finances.
5. Mother, I will visit you and your cats as often as I can, but I am not going to become your 24/7 caregiver.
6. Mother, we will revisit this arrangement in 6 months time.
7. Mother, the assisted living that accepts pets is still on the table.

Cats that pee outside their litter box have issues. Often they don't like the conditions in which they are being kept. I adore my cats and would never give them up. My husband was allergic and he took allergy shots! He's not allergic anymore!!

I might have missed OP's comment that included "...but occasionally there are accidents..." Can you define "accidents"? Going in the box, but gets outside of it? Goes outside the box where it sits or sometimes just pees in some other place?

I had one cat (female) long ago who would raise her butt up while she was going. If the butt end was facing the lower side/entrance, it would sprinkle outside the box. The solution for that is larger boxes. Urinating around but outside the box, or some other place, some detective work might be needed. Medical issue(s), of which there are many, personality issues, etc can be figured and or ruled out. It would be best to at least make the attempt to rule out the cause(s) before making any moves.

The line regarding not taking them into your home still stands. This is what mom must come to terms with. Even if the cause of urinating can be found/treated, just the move alone could bring on more/other issues (this applies to AL as well.)

If mom has her own home or even a multi-room apartment and moves to AL (maybe single room, maybe a little more spacious) or a single room in your home (most likely even if you capitulated and let them come along, they would be restricted to her room), this could lead to some undesired consequences. The move itself can upset their routine/security, and if their "space" is reduced, this could also lead to unwanted behavior(s.)

Is staying in her own home with hired care-givers an option? If she lives too far from your home for you to fill in some of the care-giving, could she sell her place/move closer, but still remain in her own place with her kitties and some hired outside help?

By any chance, do you have any family or friends who are cat lovers and would be willing to take them after the urination issue is addressed? Maybe a local vet may have some other suggestions.

Have the cats been taken to a vet? Sometimes, in fact often, cats pee in their surroundings due to urinary trac infections. I speak from experience. They also sometimes pee outside of litterboxes if there are not enough litterboxes for the number of cats. Switching types of litter may also help. If one cat bullies the others, then they need a place where they can go to the box without the bully jumping on them when they come out. Are the boxes covered? Some cats don't like covered boxes. I work for a cat rescue, so I am not suggesting these things blindly.
If these things do not work, reach out to local cat rescues for help to try to place the cats in homes. Do not expect instant turn-around, but many people are more sympathetic to your situation (mother needing to move in with you) than you might think. There are some rescues in urban areas that place a lot of cats and they might be able to help. They can also try things like isolating the cats in cages with litter boxes close and see if they still pee outside the box--it is sort of a re-training.
With regard to getting rid of the odor. If it has soaked into the carpet padding, my experience is it will have to be ripped up and disposed of. The hard surface underneath (or any hard surface) may be salvageable using Nature's Miracle Cat Urine deodorizer. It is available at most pet stores and on Amazon, and is really quite good.

It seems that most responses are about how to get the cats to live there and work around it.
I think if heatherking's husband does not want cats, that there is no way that bringing in 3 cats that urinate out of the litter box for whatever reason is going to be a good idea. Also, poster does not want the cats.
I would not do it. ever. I'd work hard to rehome the cats, but if mom had to be in my house, she would have to come without the cats. I still say she and DH are compromising by letting mom move in. That's a huge give.

These are her beloved kitties. Best to get them checked out by the veterinarian.

Someone has suggested trying other family members as potential re-homers for the cats. I took in my grandmother's cat when she went into assisted living. I wish I had taken him earlier, when she went to live with my cousins, as they insisted on the cat being declawed. But in any event, I was able to keep him until he died, which was after my grandmother had passed away. I lived 500 miles away, but I put him in a carrier and flew to see her on her birthday, which thrilled both her and the cat. There may be folks out there in your extended family who would be willing to take one or more of the cats.

It really depends on how much of a compromise you want to make. When our MIL moved in with us she had her own cat. I love animals and have a cat of our own but I despised her cat at the time. Mom had been mentally declining with Dementia and what I discovered was that she was trying to feed the cat rancid wet food along with 4 opened cans she had on the kitchen counter (that accounted for a large part of the smell in her apartment). The cat had not been fixed and she was peeing everywhere. We took the cat to the vet and she had a bladder infection. Two weeks later she was fixed and during the surgery it was discovered she had a uterine infection. The cat's issues were because of improper care. Mom's reasoning and lack of memory contributed to it all. Could you possibly keep 1 cat and keep it in her bedroom. I put an extra 5x8 carpet on top of the carpet for the cat litter pan and food. I also use a calming collar on the cat with the pheromones. It is almost a year later and she is a different cat and much friendlier. She sits on Mom's lap all the time and is a good companion for her. It took a little bit of time and some patience but it has come together. When cats are anxious they also pee in the wrong places. This link on Pinterest for eliminating the smell truly works. It has been a life saver in our home. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/804314814682137864/?nic=1
I hope that helps. I know its not easy but like you said - its a compromise.

Has poster ever come back with an update on this or another thread?

Why are you moving your mother in with you?

" Can you think of a compromise?" NO!! Don't take the cats.

Cats will be killed at shelter. Do you have a basement or they could room with the mother. Most dogs get along with cats. Cats probably have a UTI. Can be fixed with antibiotics.

A lot of people are off the subject. She said her husband REFUSES to have the cats in his house. It is his house that he has worked hard to have. He has the right to refuse to take in the cats. That is the end of it. And it is his right to say that.

My ex and my mother decided she would move in with us. It lead to divorce. I left them there and never looked back. What kind of emotional climate would it be to live with a man who felt so disrespected. If the mother can't give up her cats, then other arrangements need to be made.

I vote for finding some other arrangements for the cats. I am against having your mother live with you anyway. You lose all your privacy.

well all of this has made me ask my DD if she or her housemate would take in my sweet puppers and my indoor cat if something happened to hubs or I. Luckily she said yes.. or I would be changing the will a bit! When we took in our pets ( and DD took in her puppers) we knew it would be for our life,, I guess we never thought about their life.. For us pets are family. our pets keep us young, and are a great comfort for my 89 YO mom. I get the hubs not wanting the cats.. but its not their fault MIL has to move. Hopefully someone has stepped up

Find someplace else for your mom and all her cats to go to. Don’t bring mom to live with you. You will regret it!! I have 3 cats and I can’t imagine moving in with my son and all of my cats!! I wouldn’t do that to him!!