Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Oh Jaques---how horrible! My heart just breaks for you. I don't know if you are a praying person but I will say a prayer for you and your Mom if you don't mind. Just hold your Mom's hand , if you can, and breath nice deep breaths -in through the nose out , slowly put though an open mouth, lipped pursed. Breath about 5times each time you feel panicky. Remember this is not in your hands. Let go of trying to control it (if you are). You are not alone. We are here for you.
((((hugs and prayers )))))))
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

So sad for you. Do you have other family? Call on anyone you can, especially those who have experienced loss. At your age, with modern medicine, most people have only lost elderly grandparents. Those who have been stricken by loss are sort of a secret society that no one wants to join. They understand, and so do we.

When she is gone, her suffering will be over. I found that comforting with my father. The thing I found (after some time had passed) is that I didn't lose my parents, even though I couldn't pick up the phone and call any more. They live on inside me, and I can still talk to them every day.

Praying for you and your mother.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Another update:

Her regular nurse came and the nurse thinks she's dying, there's a chance it could be dementia but she seemed to think she's entered the dying phase. She's on 24 hour home care now. I'm so sad and crying. I can't think straight. I can't imagine losing my mom right now. I'm in my 30s and my dad already passed away already. Im walking around without anything to do since they're caring for mom, I can't stand to see her like this; she can't even talk anymore, just moaning and grunting and nodding or shaking her head
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Great news, Jacques! Crossing my fingers for you as well :0)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thanks for all your suggestions.

jeanne, I called hospice and they sent a nurse over and she wasn't very helpful. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that mom wasn't in pain, and that this was something mental/emotional. I find they are often more interested in what new medication to try than really understanding the problem. It's a bit frustrating.

capn: lol

jessie, thanks for your input. I think there may be a bit of dementia and/or psychoses here, but not diagnosed yet. That plus my mom has always been a bit of a drama queen.

Mishka, thanks for the suggestions. I've tried to work on my demeanor to be reassuring and completely calm and not let my stress show through. I think it has helped.

skinonna: Thanks for the hug.

Update:

So I talked to mom this morning (she went right back to moaning and groaing) and asked her if she was tired of being stuck in bed....and if that was part of whats going on and she said yes. Normally she wants to stay in bed because she gets out of breath and panicked when shes not lying down. But she's tired of it. So I lifted her out of bed for a little bit and into her recliner and she's settled down for now. *fingers crossed*
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Sorry for the last post, Meant to ask a new question. Does not hospice offer you assistance? Maybe she could benefit from a change of meds. Some of us do not react well to morphine. Is there a Hospice House near you? Now maybe the time for you to turn the caregiving over. ALS is a horrible disease. Your poor mother.
And my heart goes out to you for taking care because it is just as horrible to watch as to have.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Looking for suggestions. MIL has severe anemia, osteoporosis (5 vertabrae have broken so far) thalasemia and mild/moderate dementia. This week she had Reclast infusion after recently the 5th vertabrae broke. Refusing, complaining, objecting, sullen but submitted. Now the DR says she needs another iron infustion because her ferritin reserves are extrememly low. How much explanation is in line? I usually explain once (she will ask 100 times)and then I've begun to say, "Your son loves you very much and you can trust him. He will take good care of you. If the doctor and he tell you you need this, please listen to them. Otherwise you will get very sick." I just keep repeating it. She cannot comprehend an explanation it seems. Is this appropriate? Would it be better to try to keep explaining?Any suggestions on how to get her to the doctor with so much drama and trauma?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

To me, one of the fine benefits of hospice care was being able to talk to one of their nurses 24/7. Have you discussed this situation with hospice?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sing it Capn!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Jaques, if she is on morphine could she feel the burn when peeing? I don't know if she could. I still say that if this is out of the ordinary behavior for her she should see a doctor. But you know her best. Hope your night is peaceful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'm sorry I forgot to mention that she has ALS. She has shortness of breath, so that may be related, but this continues even when I give her the morphine hospice prescribed. Aside from being too weak to walk, and the shortness of breath there's nothing physically wrong with her. I asked her if it burns when she urinates and she said no.

I just told if she kept it up I would have her committed to a mental institution and that seems to have worked a bit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This sounds like a trip to Urgent Care or the ER is in order. Something is wrong and needs to be evaluated. It sounds like psychotic behavior, which generally doesn't occur out of nowhere. I hope that you can get her feeling better quickly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

heres a song i wrote, its sang to the tune of the green beret.
got this b***h and she wont pack hod.
wont saw no brick, wont make no mud.
she looks at me with such distaste, i think im gonna break her face.
bla bla bla piss and moan, making calls on her cell phone.
sister paddy yap yap yap, her eyes are brown shes so full of crap.
my youngest son wont pack no hod, wont come to work makes effed up mud.
sits on a bucket and scowls at me, oughtta put him out of his misery..
my oldest son just up and blew, without even a F- U, he aint gonna lay no brick, anything i says gonna end in prick.
little joe and ner do well, guess ive died and gone to hell. they aint gonna pack no hod, thanks a lot good one god.
screw them all i wish them well, hope they all pack hod in hell.
hope a horse fly bites your sack, hope you liked my effed up song.

i donno, its funny when i sing it. try to make some real maniacle faces and hit the wrong chords on the guitar a bit..
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi Jaques, sounds like a trip to the doctor ASAP is in order --if not the ER-maybe? If this is really out of the norm for her it may be a sign of a physical problem-UTI? .

I once sat with a woman who was having a bad reaction to her meds and flipping out and all I could do to help her was sing. You could try that. Make up your own words to lullabies if you can't think of what to sing. I don't know why it worked but it was the only thing that did.

Also-I think I read somewhere that those with dementia are often in tune with their caregivers emotions. If you are stressed she may be sensing it and it may not be helping. Try and relax by her --just sit by her and relax to soothing music or a glass of wine and a book and she may pick up on your body language. I do this with my girl (minus the wine) , read by her bed and just keep a hand on her and she almost instantly relaxes.

Good luck. (((( hugs to you and Mom)))
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter