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My name is Haley and my mother has been staying with my soon to be husband and I for a little over a year. In jan 2014 my mother had a car accident and had to be placed in rehab. Also during that time she lost her home and was moved into my home. Now with that being said, I have a 3 year lease at the house i currently stay at and my mother is only 48. She is rude and verbally abusive to both myself and my fiance. When i moved into the house my name is the only name on the lease, my mother insisted on placing the utilities in her name. We did, but i pay them since she has no income. She smokes all day everyday, is diabetic and doesnt use her meds correctly and just wont take care of herself. There was no outstanding agreement when she moved into my home. Now i have a child on the way and there isnt enough room and she will not change. I have politely asked her to find somewhere else to go, meaning i have asked her to look for another stable home as this one will be too small for all of us and i cannot break my lease. She has since become IRATE and refuses to allow me to place the utilities in my name, and has been verbally abusive to everyone since. How can i resolve this? I cannot handle it anymore, im due in august and the house has major repairs to be done before baby gets here and she stands in the way of them.

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If she is disabled, even at 48, her auto insurance should be covering her medical bills from the accident. She should be on Medicare after a year of disability and receiving SSDI. Leave the utilities in her name. All leases have an escape clause. If she won't move, I would.
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It makes me wonder where she gets the money to smoke all day--it's a very expensive habit these days. Meds are very costly enough without the added expense of smoking. If I were you, I would take her to see her doctor and explain what is going on--she may have depression issues. Considering she lost her home and independence anyone would feel the same way. If her behavior gets so out of hand to the point she's a danger to herself, you may have to get her in the Emergency Room. Try to get her to her doctor if you can and go from there.
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Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get out and do it right! Anyone who reads your story will expect a lot more flack from your mom and perhaps even violence. This is no situation for a baby.

Stay cool. Stay on the right side of the law. Dot your Is and cross your Ts. And get out.
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Whatever you do, do not move out before the end of your Lease, otherwise the Landlord could come after you for the remaining time and rent on said Lease.

The Lease was made between the Landlord, you, and your fiance.... no where on the Lease is your mother's name. With Mom being there, it could be in violation of the Lease unless you gave the landlord notice of a 3rd adult residing in the residence.

And does the Landlord allow smoking in the home? Vast majority do not, and if someone is smoking there the landlord could keep your security deposit and demand extra money to clean up the tobacco stains that accumulate on everything.
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Haley sorry about all you are going through. Boundaries!! Tell her she has 30/60 days to find a place to live or you will be moving her into a facility which takes disablility/medicaid patients and stick to that decision. Your mother is using you as mop and doormat. Just because she is your mother doesn't allow her to disrespect you. She works the guilt well I can tell. Now is the time to tell her to move out before the baby is born. Otherwise you will have two babies on your hand, one that you will cherish and the other baby (your Mom) will take all the wonderful experiences away from you as a couple starting your family. Mom needs to put a pacifier in her mouth and move.!!! I know easier said than, I have been there. You are not any less of a good daughter by asking her to move, even though she says so. You will be a better daughter and better off if she does move. From: not afraid of my Mom any more.
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I t sounds like she wants control. I would be careful not to give her too much.
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Who buys your mom cigarettes if she has no income? Where I live it's a very expensive habit. Are there any other family members or close friends to help? Your mother is only 48, that is young! She doesn't even qualify for AARP. Has she always been difficult to get along with? Did she suffer a brain injury from the car accident? I agree with cetude, it sounds as though she may be depressed. Adult services are available for anyone over 18 where I live, maybe they could help you get your mom a place to live. If she's not taking her medications for diabetes, that would also have an affect on her both mentally and physically. You are expecting a baby, and if your mother is unstable she should not be allowed near the child until her health issues are under control. This is a tough situation for all, I would get the professionals involved. Good luck and God bless, Sue
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If repairs need to be made, that is landlord's expense not yours.
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Haley, you may have to stop being so polite. You would not be polite to a freeloader who overstayed their welcome as a short term guest, and that's what your mom has become, to her detriment first but also to you and now to an innocent fetus. If mom can get ugly and demand her name stays on utilities you can get ugly back and demand her behavior changes or you do what needs done. Except, honestly - it's not really ugly to insist someone stops harming themselves and others. Being too polite to call a halt to a bad situation helps no one. Mom may - or may not - have tenant rights and the legal route may be what you have to take. This sucks for all concerned and I hope there is a way out of it.
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I had a problem roommate, in a 2 BR apartment, and bravely went to my landlord to explain that I just couldn't live witb my roommate for various reasons. I was going to move out and wanted to do whatever the landlord wanted, to let me out of the lease but was totally honest and willing to work with the landlord. To my surprise, the landlord said they also did not like several things about my roommate, and they preferred that I stay there. The next day they informed the roommate there were several things that would have to change or be required to move--in a nutshell, roommate was GONE in short order. I had to struggle for awhile with paying the whole rent, before I found another roommate. But it was worth it. In general, landlords appreciate honesty and will reward goodness with goodness. So I believe it is worth it to have a talk with your landlord, they might be willing to facilitate your staying in the apartment and getting your mom out of there. Especially if she's smoking and that is not allowed--check your Lease--but that is hardly allowed anywhere, and not good for babies!!!
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