My Mom's a smoker and lives with my sister. She was caught smoking in the house. Sis does not know how to stop this behavior. Advice?

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Mother was supposed to quit smoking before she moved in but did not. She now smokes outside the house but up against the house where the smoke can still come in the house. Last night my sister came back inside my mother's living area and found my mother smoking in the bathroom. My sister does not know how to set that boundary.

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I had the same issue with my dad when he resided with me. One method I chose with him in an effort to stop the behavior was to not allow him to smoke at all. I communicated to him that if he could not respect my wishes around his smoking that he would not be allowed to smoke at all. I would not purchase cigarettes any longer, and if I could not control the behavior that way then I would be forced to admit him to a nursing facility.
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I look back to see what I could have done different in encouraging my mother to stop smoking, and that would be to reinforce my love for her with more hugs, and divert her reason for smoking. My mother was addicted till the day she died. It was hard to hug her, because she smelled of smoke and most of the time she was complaining about a family member. Mom had plenty of money, and it was hard to find a reason to deter her smoking to save for a trip, or new car.
If it is a financial burden, then divert their attention to something they have always wanted, but could not afford that was attainable. If they gradually reduce the amount they smoke, then encourage them to put that money into a jar labeled the item they want to buy/do. Put a photo of the item/trip on the refrigerator or near a traveled area in the home. Talk about the item or trip on a regular basis to remind her to keep saving toward her goal. Later put a date to have X amount of money saved, so to attain her goal within a specified time. You may also want to be a part of this to encourage her, and give her a reason to gradually quit smoking. Diversion is better than arguing, since adults are their own boss.
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"she won't stop smoking even though she is on Co2 and had COPD"
She's not on CO2, though that would solve the problem pretty quick, make her pass out & maybe die.
CO would be even faster, and she's doing that to herself little by little by smoking.
She's on oxygen (O2)... which, if she sets it on fire, would also solve the problem but would be a very painful way to die, with massive burns.

"A recent study of e-cigs found e-cigarette second hand smoke contains chromium - a toxic element that is not present in traditional cigarettes - and nickel at levels four times higher than normal cigarettes"
If she's outside (really outside, not just in front of a window or door or the garage) this wouldn't be a problem. (And yes, there are many nasty chemicals in the vapor too, they're just a bit different from burning tobacco.)
I'd say get her an e-cig and tell her she can only use it on the sidewalk in front of the house, or out there in the gazebo, someplace well away from the house.
NEVER allow that or real smoking in or near the house. You'll have to be very firm on that.
Also, make her clean up after herself, scrub the area to remove smoke residue, perhaps have her buy an air purifier for the house to combat the stench on her & her clothing.
Nicotine patches & gum are a good clean option.

And yes, once she can't drive do not become her supplier.
If she smokes near or in the house, take them away, dunk the whole pack in the sink or douse it with pesticide or insecticide.
See what the added cost in insurance is, and she should pay that. She will probably eventually fall asleep in bed with a forgotten cigarette & kill not only herself, but burn the house.
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I had the same problem with my father, when he was alive. Both parents have been smokers since they were teenagers and now in their eighties, I'd say it's nigh impossible to quit. I am an ex-smoker myself and know how addictive it is. We had my father as a houseguest for what was supposed to be a 2 week visit. I asked him to smoke outside on the porch and he agreed, at least initially. I woke up one morning and smelled the smoke! He was smoking at the table in the dining room! We reiterated the rule; he ignored it, sometimes right in our face and other times when we were at work. He ignored other rules, too, such as not giving my dog a whole box of treats in one day. (That's what he did with his dog.) Oh, and he used oxygen too. Claims he turns it off before smoking. Really scary.

Well, he lasted at our home one week. We took him back early; wouldn't obey the house rules. It was a shame, because that was to be a sort of dry run to see if he could stay with us. But now I know he would have promised anything and then done exactly as he wished. Having grown up with 2 heavy smokers, I know now that everything in the house stunk and both my sister and I must have reeked in school!

The best thing anyone can do is quit while you are in your home. When he had to go to an ALF, they of course, did not allow smoking. Was caught; I was called; had to go in and "talk with him", like a kid in school. Also, the staff does not have the time to take the person outside to smoke several times a day, and if it's cold outside, they won't.

Just to say one more thing--I know state and federal government love so-called "sin taxes". The cost of cigarettes is prohibitive because of this. All well and good, I suppose, but remember that many seniors (including my parents), will buy cigarettes ahead of food and medicine. The tax is meant to make it too expensive, but they will buy them anyway because they are addicted. It's worse than heroin.

What has worked a bit for may parents, was the nicotine patch. This at least took the edge off. It's a difficult situation.

But you can't really make someone quit. You can deny them cigarettes, of course, but then they are miserable.

Good luck and God bless you.
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The jury is still out regarding health risk to those who use e-cigs and those who are around the vapor. But remember, the jury was out regarding cigarettes back prior to he 1960's... people thought tobacco cigarettes were harmless.

Stopping smoking will not reverse any major health issues... all stopping will do is stop the issues from getting worse.
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Try to get your mom to switch to electronic cigarettes. My entire family (except for me) are smokers. They have all switched to the e-cigs. E-cigs give thenicotine without all the other bad stuff. E-cigs emit a water vapor. There is no smell at all. Now family gatherings are smoke free! Plus improved health is another side effect of e-cigs over regular cigarettes. My Brother-in-law has congestive heart failure. His cardiologist is thrilled with the improvement in his heart since he switched to e-cigs. They come in different flavors also. Your mom can try a couple different flavors to see which one she likes the best. I have found coupons for e-cigs on Groupon.
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I think the Maggie is right about the cigarette supply. If she can drive and get her own, then she can live somewhere else. Even if she put up the money to build on the guest quarters, she breached the contract when she smoked in the house. Take away the car and ban all cigarettes from the property - otherwise, ban her. Pay back the money she put into the guest quarters by renting it out to a non smoker.
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need more information-please contact me privately if you wish.
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Oh you are LIVING my nightmare! I feel your pain. My mom lives with me. She's 76 years old and has been smoking since she was 14 along with my dad who died of bladder cancer…..FROM smoking.

Anyway, I let her smoke outside. You really can't prevent them from quitting and if you do, they. will. be. miserable. With that being said, my solution was --- I brought her into a smoke shop that sells e-cigs. She LOVES IT! It's rechargeable and it does not smell one bit. I am very sensitive to smoke and I can't have any of it around me - even the smell will trigger an asthma attack.

Get her an e-cig. It's really really hard to quit smoking especially when you're older and you're thinking and thinking and stressed out to the max due to whatever problem she may be facing. Most elderly people don't want to quit anyway - they've been smoking for this long, so . . .

I tried to stop my sister (who is her supplier) from bringing her a pack of cigarettes here and there. But it doesn't work. They go into a deeper depression. I wouldn't be mean to her about it - like making her pay an added premium as stated above. (Maybe it wasn't intended to be mean.) Our moms have a huge addiction. We have to get creative and look for positive solutions. The e-cigs are not dangerous. The tar is what makes this so dangerous. It's a vapor that has nicotine in it. Cigarettes have the tar and added chemicals that are cancerous.

E-cigs. They have all different flavors and blends.

Good luck!
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A recent study of e-cigs found e-cigarette second hand smoke contains chromium - a toxic element that is not present in traditional cigarettes - and nickel at levels four times higher than normal cigarettes.

Plus there has been fire risks regarding recharging the e-cigs, batteries exploding, etc.

I would try the nicotine gum first.
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