Mom told me to get ready for her to be in the cemetery. Is she dying?

Many elders in their last days will actually predict their own demise. My late mother did, saying things like -"it won't be long." She was correct.

It sounds to me like your mom is ready and very much at peace with going and she both wants you to know that as well as wanting you too at peace with her passing. I don't know it means she will go tomorrow or even this week but if she's ready I can't imagine a better scenario for both of you. I know it's tough, it always will be but if I were at the point it sounds like she is, unable to do even the basic functions for myself, not really participating in life I would prefer to pass over having my family watch me wither away. Letting her know you are prepared (you don't have to be ready) and ok with it as long as she is might be the greatest gift you can give her, even though it might be one of the hardest.

Don't worry. Does not mean she is dying. She just wants to prepare just in case. Sounds like she may be worried about you.

Incontinence is very common. Don't worry about that, just keep her clean.

You may want to check with Parkinson's doctor on fidgety. He or she may be able to adjust medication.

Allow your mother to assist with her burial choices. That is great. You may just want to have a talk and ask her what she wants after death. Good to plan ahead. You both can go meet with funeral directors if you want. Just beware of overselling.

As much as her telling you this might hurt, it may just be that she wants you to be prepared for the inevitable. She might be concerned with how her passing might impact you. It might happen soon, it might be much later. We do not come with expiration dates stamped on us! Some people may just know, based on how they feel inside. Some may just be tired of how it is and want to move on.

The best you can do is acknowledge what she has said and reassure her that you will be okay (even if you don't feel like you will!) This will help her knowing that you will alright. If she has not made/discussed her funeral arrangements with you, you could use this opportunity to ask her. Once you have taken care of business, then focus on her and you, memories, loved ones, whatever conjures up pleasant moments in your lives. Anytime she brings it up again, reassure her all is well!

The only other suggestion is perhaps looking into hospice. I have not had to go that route yet, but from reading various posts, more often than not they are super helpful for the patient AND the family members affected by the illness/death. Check with her doctor about getting this set up. Also, because not all are alike, rest assured that if you are not happy with how they are dealing with mom or you, there are others you can switch to, until you find a better fit!

Remember the good times with mom!!! Spend as much time as you can with her and focus on pleasant memories made over the years! It might help take her mind off the coming days and will likely help you when that dreaded time arrives, knowing that you made her happy.