My mom thinks my dad is coming back from the dead. How do I tell her that he is dead and I can't help her find him?

It may be time for her to go back to the doctor. I am wondering if her UTI kicked back in or if she is exhibiting signs of dementia. Some people with Alz become more symptomatic later in the day, a problem known as sundowning. I hope it is not something as serious as Alz. Your mother may sound rational to her doctor if it is earlier in the day. You could talk to the doctor to let him/her know what is going on in the evening. I hope it is something as simple as medicines or the UTI returning. Let us know what the doctor thinks.

"Oh Mother, it must feel terrible to think about Daddy cheating on you. You loved him very much, didn't you? And I know that he loved you. I miss him so much! I know if he were here he would not be hiding from you and he certainly wouldn't be cheating on you. I'm glad that you can still feel his presence. I'm sure there is much about life after death that we don't understand, but I believe with all my heart that Daddy loves you."

This is very hard. You want to acknowledge her reality, how she view things, but you don't want to agree with her that your deceased father is cheating on her!

Definitely follow Jessie's advice and provide the doctor a description of what is going on.

As posted, UTI could have returned and often don't have symptoms physically; but can effect psychologically. My mother in law had a UTI and never knew it until she became extremely weak, but had no pain. It could be dementia setting in after the trauma of your father passing away. Our family, extended family and friends noticed that my mother in laws dementia/alzheimers seemed to be triggered by the death of her sister. It wasn't a sudden death, she had been ill, but my MIL exhibited signs within weeks of her passing. It seemed too coincidental to suddenly show symptoms. The doctor said this could have had something to do with it. The reality and shock of your Dad passing could have effected your mother in this way as well. Of course, the doctor is the best person to figure this out; but just a thought. While she was living with us, she thought her dead husband (dead 10 years) was home and he had called her. And that he was coming to pick her up. This broke our hearts. I would gently talk to her and help her back to reality. Her doctor gave her anti-anxiety medication and this truly helped. She would also get angry at me; but would eventually understand he was gone.

It is a heartbreaking thing to deal with. Hopefully, her doctor can help. My thoughts and prayers are with you.