Mom just stopped understanding how to eat 3 days ago and is now bedridden. Is this normal to happen so quickly?

Why is hospice involved, does she have another disease that makes her eligible? Instead of accepting that this is a "normal" progression of dementia (it's not) I would be pushing for answers and a reason for her sudden, dramatic decline; have her checked for a UTI or stroke.

I agree that she needs to see a doctor as soon as you can get her in there to the urologist and also her primary to have her checked for a stroke.

Update on my neighbor. She now says that she sees other people in her home along with seeing some other woman with me when I am there and now wants to buy herself a new car even though her license was taken away a year ago. She can easily go to the bank and get the cash and then buying a car from somebody wanting to sell theirs. I told her that she can't drive without a license or insurance and she just argues with me about it so I shut up. If she does it then she will get stopped and then be put away before she does harm to someone.

Thank you for your responses. I had thought about uti, but not stroke. I am having them get the Dr to evaluate her today. As far as hospice, they have been involved for a while now because it's a free service that medicare offers to folks with long term illnesses. They come a few times a week and check on her and manage her medicine. It's been very helpful.

I have read of others on this forum who thought hospice was a wonderful way to get affordable services but seemingly failed to take into consideration or understand exactly what they were signing up for. You need to be fully aware that the focus of hospice is end of life care. The corporate expectation that the patient is dying in weeks or months means that nurses concentrate on comfort care - easing pain or symptoms - rather than curative care, and telling you to tuck your mother in bed rather than call an ambulance is a result of that philosophy.
I'm not saying anything against hospice care, but are you sure this something you really want at this time?

First thought I had was of a stroke.

They checked her for stroke and uti, neither. Today she more talkative but its very incoherant like she was holding a baby doll my niece was playing with and she was talking to unlike it was real, and then telling someone that wasn't there "Hey come see her, she's pink" then she said lay down before you break it and put the doll down, then picked it back up and said aweweee cute like it was real! Appetite is mostly non existent. She will eat a few bite if they are given but then becomes totally disinterested. And yes hospice has to be involved at this point because she can't walk either. Which is why she was in the floor the other day. Apparently she had fallen a little more over the last month than I was made aware of, because I live out of state. I believe she's going to just have to he kept comfortable until. What an aweful disease, makes me sick. I appreciate all your posts, really I hate that everyone is going through this!

((((((((hugs))))))

It sounds like she is regressing back to childhood in a way. Have you taken her in and had an MRI done on the brain? I had hat done for my neighbor and they could tell how bad her dementia was which helped them to give her better meds to help her remember things. I have been reading everybody's posts along with any other materials that I get my hands on to try and understand this nasty disease and I have found out that there are some cases very similar but then others are very complex. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this because it is not only time consuming but very hurtful watching your mom like this. I am very proud of the strength and love you have. Stay strong.

My mom went from being able to walk a few steps to being bedridden in a matter of days - was hospitalized for UTI but has not regained any strength despite physical and occupational therapy - perhaps she had a stroke but at 94, can't see putting her through a MRI

Did Doctor indicate if your mother being taken off her meds recently could contribute to this decline ?

I asked that question and they said no, that at her age the meds don't absorb very well and they only affect helping retain what she had already. That they don't affect her physical self, like the falling and appetite going. They said once you have to be bedridden the appetite goes really fast because you don't need as many calories to sustain. So at This point putting her through an MRI wouldn't help sadly. She has round the clock care and is in good hands, I know there nothing more I can do but pray for her to not suffer:( thanks everyone for well wishes and advice much appreciated. I will shed some advice in return. If your loved one is nearing needing care at home or in a facility and you are going to rely on Medicaid to kick in...start now! Every state is different but almost all of them go back 5 years on assets. So selling the house and car, getting the life insurance set as an irrevocable trust to the funeral home you choose and liquidating any other asset you can. Most states the cut off is 2000 in assets and no more, they will require receipts for sale of house, car, etc. In my mom's case once she had done all of that in Tennessee she would have been eligible within 30 days because they had already come and done the physical assessment. But we moved her to South Carolina hopeing they would use what we had already and they dont. 4 month back log. So basically once diagnosed with this awfulness get thier affairs in order asap. Start with the area council on aging where you live they can direct you. We had to figure all this out blind and it was HARD! Hope that helps someone here:)

Myheartisbroken,
It sounds like your mother is in stage 7 Alzheimer's.
Symptoms can be;
Can only speak 6 words declining down to one word repeated over and over or unable to talk, can't walk, can't sit up alone without being propped, can no longer smile, incontinent of bowel and bladder, difficulty swallowing then choking on fluids/food, tight muscles or contractures, not aware of the world around them, hard to get connected, the brain can't tell the body what to do.

(Gathered from many sources)

One source said that when the ability to walk is lost, the person has about 4 months left to live. (Don't know if that is accurate.)

I'm so sorry for you all. God bless everyone.

To follow up, she did have a uti but the stop understanding how to eat started a few days before that. They treated her for the uti and also started the morphine. I went to see her for a few days last week. She was speaking a little, but mostly mumbles. Because they explained to me that forcing food and water is dangerous due to aspiration, and that he body is trying to shut down we stopped food and water 6 days ago. She has been asleep for 5 days. I'm glad I got to say my goodbyes, and I wish the Lord would take her home so she isn't suffering. This is so hard!

This is so very hard! At the end, we played my mom her favorite opera arias, songs from musicals she loved, American Songbook standards and music from the Big Band era. It seemed to relax her and make the transition easier. It certainly helped us! Be well, and know that we are here with you.

Day 10. No food or water, vitals are fine breathing pretty normal. I just don't see how. I know she's ready to go to heaven. Nothing I have read suggests people live this long without water?

That doctor should NEVER have taken her off the memory drugs. My dad was on them until he passed at 88 years of age.

Yes, it can happen that fast.

I know this is hard. It hurts our hearts so much. Please know I am thinking of you. My MIL also lasted this long. Talk to her and tell her you love her and tell her everything will be alright. Grace and peace.

Everyone here is so supportive, I appreciate you all so much! It's been a great place to vent and get thoughts. Truly grateful:)

Her battle ended on day 12, last Saturday. Shallow breaths then just stopped. Rest in peace, my beautiful momma.

Yes, she is at peace now. I'm so sorry for your loss Myheartisbroken.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. Thank-you for letting us know.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounded like a wonderful lady. Thank you for the update. I'm sure everyone around here was concerned. Take care of yourself.

My deepest sympathies. She is out of suffering now and at peace. ((((hugs))))

Thank you all so much! What a blessing being here with you all. Hugs back!

Myheartisbroken,
My heartfelt sympathies for you and your family. She is at peace and no longer suffering. May God give you His mercy and may your heart mend in time.
Take comfort from the great memories.
((Hugs))

God bless, and may one day your broken heart be healed

I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad your mom is at peace.

Very sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself,please keep posting,let us know how you are doing.

Myheartisbroken,
So sorry for your loss.
May you be comforted by the same Lord
Who has taken her home.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You are in my thoughts and prayers.