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My mom 82, dementia for 4 years now. Lived alone for 2 and that last 2 caregivers but was still pretty independent. A month ago she could no longer afford to live at home so we moved her in with my sister. The transition I knew would be hard and her new hospice care worker doctor took her off the memory meds about 3 weeks ago saying she could no longer absorb them. 2 days ago she stopped understanding how to use a fork or spoon to eat. Today she sat down in the floor and peed. When they went to help her up she would not talk! The hospice nurse just happened to have come during all this and she ordered a hospital bed and said that Mom should stay bed ridden for her safety. This evening she is talking some but mostly gibberish and eating when fed. How did this happen so fast? Is this it are we looking at days or what? My heart is broken! We knew it was coming but 3 days ago it was the occasional night wander and bathroom accidents and now bedridden, what? Please she'd some light if you know what's next or why so fast?

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Her battle ended on day 12, last Saturday. Shallow breaths then just stopped. Rest in peace, my beautiful momma.
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To follow up, she did have a uti but the stop understanding how to eat started a few days before that. They treated her for the uti and also started the morphine. I went to see her for a few days last week. She was speaking a little, but mostly mumbles. Because they explained to me that forcing food and water is dangerous due to aspiration, and that he body is trying to shut down we stopped food and water 6 days ago. She has been asleep for 5 days. I'm glad I got to say my goodbyes, and I wish the Lord would take her home so she isn't suffering. This is so hard!
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She had a beautiful service! Lots of she's tears and laughter remembering her wonderful life. I am doing some better but I fear it will be a long time or never that I won't miss her like crazy. I will stay on here and try to help others as you all have helped me. What a great place for support. Thank you all:)
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Day 10. No food or water, vitals are fine breathing pretty normal. I just don't see how. I know she's ready to go to heaven. Nothing I have read suggests people live this long without water?
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I asked that question and they said no, that at her age the meds don't absorb very well and they only affect helping retain what she had already. That they don't affect her physical self, like the falling and appetite going. They said once you have to be bedridden the appetite goes really fast because you don't need as many calories to sustain. So at This point putting her through an MRI wouldn't help sadly. She has round the clock care and is in good hands, I know there nothing more I can do but pray for her to not suffer:( thanks everyone for well wishes and advice much appreciated. I will shed some advice in return. If your loved one is nearing needing care at home or in a facility and you are going to rely on Medicaid to kick in...start now! Every state is different but almost all of them go back 5 years on assets. So selling the house and car, getting the life insurance set as an irrevocable trust to the funeral home you choose and liquidating any other asset you can. Most states the cut off is 2000 in assets and no more, they will require receipts for sale of house, car, etc. In my mom's case once she had done all of that in Tennessee she would have been eligible within 30 days because they had already come and done the physical assessment. But we moved her to South Carolina hopeing they would use what we had already and they dont. 4 month back log. So basically once diagnosed with this awfulness get thier affairs in order asap. Start with the area council on aging where you live they can direct you. We had to figure all this out blind and it was HARD! Hope that helps someone here:)
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This is so very hard! At the end, we played my mom her favorite opera arias, songs from musicals she loved, American Songbook standards and music from the Big Band era. It seemed to relax her and make the transition easier. It certainly helped us! Be well, and know that we are here with you.
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I know this is hard. It hurts our hearts so much. Please know I am thinking of you. My MIL also lasted this long. Talk to her and tell her you love her and tell her everything will be alright. Grace and peace.
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Yes, she is at peace now. I'm so sorry for your loss Myheartisbroken.
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Everyone here is so supportive, I appreciate you all so much! It's been a great place to vent and get thoughts. Truly grateful:)
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I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad your mom is at peace.
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