My 86 year old mom has been in AL since October after her 5th fall last year. She was hospitalized, went to rehab and then to AL at the same facility. My brother told her he will take her to her home because she hates it there so very much. What do I do? I don't agree with his plans and I know exactly what will happen when she gets home. I do not want to be the coordinator of her care and I know I'll be forced into it. I have been watching over Mom since Dad died 7 years ago and my heart was finally at ease when she went to AL. My brother's plan is to have her call one of us 3 times a day, and if she doesn't call, we go to her house.
In a perfect world this could work, but Mom is ~very~ controlling, has said for her entire life that she's the mother and we are to respect her, while she has thought nothing of hurting us or caring one bit that we have lives. She won't wear a medical alert, won't plan for anything (never has) and will NOT listen to me. She says, "stop talking to me like a nurse". I can't help it, I am one, and told her that I can be her daughter but not her caretaker.
Please, if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. I can't seem to get any calmness in my heart because of this. The underlying stress is killing me.