Literally out of the blue on Friday Feb. 7th two police showed up and told me I had 5 minutes to get what I need and leave and not return. She had filed a restraining order against me accusing me of literally every cruel thing you can imagine, and it's not true. My son whom is 23 started staying there with me 3 days prior to her visit to get this "bogusly" wordered court order. I feel like a criminal and did nothing. She refuses to let my son bring me anything so I am literally moneyless, homeless, and staying in my car. While she is continuing her substance abuse. This order is slanderous and the court date is not until Feb. 24th, This is awful and so hurtful? I am hurt, confused, and devastated she would do this to me when she asked me to come and stay with her and everything, I thought, was going better than ever, in our entire relationship. This is horrible and I am frightened every night sleeping in my car and there seems to be no help for me. I called clacakamas womens services 2 days prior to being served this order and they listened but now its a long weekend and I am alone, weaponless, and labled and elder abuser at the moment. Help? What do I do?? Legal Aid was horrible and said and Elder could not cause domestic violence, and goodbye? A lawyer is out of the question and I dont have access to my medication, my animals, nothing. Wow, My son is so upset and I am worried for him. He is a recovering opiate addict. And she is an enabler to the max with him. Advise please!!
i say this because i well remember during my divorce many years ago it didnt matter to the judge if the ex and i lived or died. his concern was ( rightfully imo ) only for the well being of the kids.
every carer puts themselves in a vulnerable position of looking like a money grubbing parasite at times but to be convicted of a crime against an elder you have to do something as messed up as forge documents to sell their home out from under them or something of that magnitude.
judges are trained to spot dementia and incompetence and i think things will work out ok for you. somewhere in the back of your mind there is probably a true friend, even if its only one, who will help you out right now and give you the benefit of doubt , maybe not because they care so much about you as they are in a position of needing someones help in their own circumstances right now.
my reply may be worthless to you but its from the heart and laden with personal experiences.
If her MD will certify her dementia, you can refute this.
Good luck original poster, please let us know how you are.
Here in NC we have homeless living under bridges even now. The pastor of the church I go to took up a collection for them about a month ago. The homeless don't stop being homeless just because the weather gets bad. The shelters here have to turn some of them away because there isn't enough room!
In defense of OP, they did post on another thread about their problem with family relationships. I know that as a live in caregiver who went into a home where help was needed and asked for - that some of my cousins (that didn't know me well, I didn't know them well) suddenly took to saying the worst sort of things about me when actually opposite was true. And if my grandmother or father were in position to be easily influenced by meddling and mean other family members who are looking from outside in, and assuming worst about you, its possible at one time I could've faced a similar situation. I have no legal right to the residence I live in and I was accused of abuse. So was my father (of abusing his mother). And when I say accused, I mean phone calls were made to Dept of Aging, court documents were drawn up alleging abuse, the full shebang accusations. In my situation I had enough proof of innocence, fortunately, and it went no further than a couple of court dates and was dropped. (And my charge (my GM and dad) did NOT want me to leave, just others.) None of it is/was true, of course, but its astounding the weight these kind of allegations hold… and I agree that they should hold heavy weight, but woe to those that are innocent and on receiving end.
I hope you can get into a shelter or find a friend who can take you in for a bit. But I wouldn't plan on ever mending fences with your mom or relatives. It is just you and your son. That sucks, and its sad, but hopefully at least you have each other? When you go to court, I would think there can at least be made some allowance for you to remove your personal items from your mom's residence, but that might be best you can hope for.
If you come back here to post, I'm curious if you have any POA or guardianship issues here, or if you've ever had joint banking accounts with mom, or if your name is on any bills going to that house…