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Literally out of the blue on Friday Feb. 7th two police showed up and told me I had 5 minutes to get what I need and leave and not return. She had filed a restraining order against me accusing me of literally every cruel thing you can imagine, and it's not true. My son whom is 23 started staying there with me 3 days prior to her visit to get this "bogusly" wordered court order. I feel like a criminal and did nothing. She refuses to let my son bring me anything so I am literally moneyless, homeless, and staying in my car. While she is continuing her substance abuse. This order is slanderous and the court date is not until Feb. 24th, This is awful and so hurtful? I am hurt, confused, and devastated she would do this to me when she asked me to come and stay with her and everything, I thought, was going better than ever, in our entire relationship. This is horrible and I am frightened every night sleeping in my car and there seems to be no help for me. I called clacakamas womens services 2 days prior to being served this order and they listened but now its a long weekend and I am alone, weaponless, and labled and elder abuser at the moment. Help? What do I do?? Legal Aid was horrible and said and Elder could not cause domestic violence, and goodbye? A lawyer is out of the question and I dont have access to my medication, my animals, nothing. Wow, My son is so upset and I am worried for him. He is a recovering opiate addict. And she is an enabler to the max with him. Advise please!!

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freq flyer, when you are evicted by court order, and I have seen it happen, you get what you can carry out and face arrest if you return to the house.
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Multiple visits to ER is probably the red flag that triggered the investigation. Now we know that dementia patients can say some pretty bizarre things. My friend's mother told family "Your sister makes me sleep in the garage." She actually slept in a dining room converted to a bedroom. The siblings actually believed their mother!! This lead to a major family conflagration, because the siblings did not see their mother often enough to know she was demented. So yes, caregivers take all the risk and the distant relatives are all too happy to throw you under the bus. Where a sizeable estate is up for grabs, the dogs are particularly rabid.
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How does an elderly woman stop your 23 year old son from bringing your things out of the house? Something just doesn't sound right here.
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This already confusing thread doesn't need any more confusion… but…

In defense of OP, they did post on another thread about their problem with family relationships. I know that as a live in caregiver who went into a home where help was needed and asked for - that some of my cousins (that didn't know me well, I didn't know them well) suddenly took to saying the worst sort of things about me when actually opposite was true. And if my grandmother or father were in position to be easily influenced by meddling and mean other family members who are looking from outside in, and assuming worst about you, its possible at one time I could've faced a similar situation. I have no legal right to the residence I live in and I was accused of abuse. So was my father (of abusing his mother). And when I say accused, I mean phone calls were made to Dept of Aging, court documents were drawn up alleging abuse, the full shebang accusations. In my situation I had enough proof of innocence, fortunately, and it went no further than a couple of court dates and was dropped. (And my charge (my GM and dad) did NOT want me to leave, just others.) None of it is/was true, of course, but its astounding the weight these kind of allegations hold… and I agree that they should hold heavy weight, but woe to those that are innocent and on receiving end.

I hope you can get into a shelter or find a friend who can take you in for a bit. But I wouldn't plan on ever mending fences with your mom or relatives. It is just you and your son. That sucks, and its sad, but hopefully at least you have each other? When you go to court, I would think there can at least be made some allowance for you to remove your personal items from your mom's residence, but that might be best you can hope for.

If you come back here to post, I'm curious if you have any POA or guardianship issues here, or if you've ever had joint banking accounts with mom, or if your name is on any bills going to that house…
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Why would someone make all this mess up? For what reason? To make themselves look bad? I don't get it.

Here in NC we have homeless living under bridges even now. The pastor of the church I go to took up a collection for them about a month ago. The homeless don't stop being homeless just because the weather gets bad. The shelters here have to turn some of them away because there isn't enough room!
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This was obviously a troll, and AC does NOT like me pointing that out. I am NOW wondering if Capt is right , and these trolls are being outsourced to keep the site moving. I think we all have enough REAL problems...we don't need bogus ones.
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I hope to god she is not still living in her car, or she will make the news as a frozen corpse. There is no place in the US right now that would be survivable in a car.
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Ha! Boni I liked your comment! I don't understand why it was deleted.. At least you didn't use swears like I tend to do! LOL
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Funny how my posts disappeared. I will certainly not waste time on trolls, and when I want to call them out, I will. But hey, that's just me.
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How are they getting on this website? Internet cafe, smartphone, library computers, laptop or tablet with wifi connection, etc. Why all the suspicion?

Good luck original poster, please let us know how you are.
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My question exactly PTS. If you are living in your car, I guess if you still have an activated cell phone you could have access to the internet, recharge through your car battery...there are red flags here. I hope you come back and let us know. We will help you with more info.
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If you are in your car, how are you getting to this website?
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Would a women's shelter be able to help you?
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bummer. in rereading i have to question the most basic mentality of someone in your position who even puts animals on their chart of priorities right now. i think you should roll your priority list up like a scroll and unwind it from the other end.
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when you appear in court for the hearing do not offer the judge your tirade of defensiveness. he has chosen his questions carefully and your replies to his questions will either reinforce or contradict themselves by the third question. try to have confidence in the judge. imo they are nearly godlike in their knowlege. appearing without council is ok, its just that an attorney makes a judges job a lot easier because the attorneys are aspiring judges and not at all stupid themselves.
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I agree, can you think of anyone who can take you in for at least tonight?
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Whoa! I can't believe Legal Aid turned you away? Domestic violence is a serious charge, what on earth did she say you did? Does she have dementia?
If her MD will certify her dementia, you can refute this.
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trying to look at it thru the eyes of a judge, his only concern is for the well being of the near helpless elder. if there is an error hes going to at least temporarily err on the side of protecting the concerned elder.
i say this because i well remember during my divorce many years ago it didnt matter to the judge if the ex and i lived or died. his concern was ( rightfully imo ) only for the well being of the kids.
every carer puts themselves in a vulnerable position of looking like a money grubbing parasite at times but to be convicted of a crime against an elder you have to do something as messed up as forge documents to sell their home out from under them or something of that magnitude.
judges are trained to spot dementia and incompetence and i think things will work out ok for you. somewhere in the back of your mind there is probably a true friend, even if its only one, who will help you out right now and give you the benefit of doubt , maybe not because they care so much about you as they are in a position of needing someones help in their own circumstances right now.
my reply may be worthless to you but its from the heart and laden with personal experiences.
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