My 83-year-old mother was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. It is definitely at the moderate part of the neurological disorder. Her short-term memory is nonexistent. Through the last year, she has been obsessed with Barry Gibb. She seeks him out on Facebook, and of course, the scammers latched onto her immediately. She keeps clicking on the links they send her after I delete them and block them. She keeps reopening messenger apps. In September, she sent a $500 check to one of them. And then on Halloween she sent $550 in Apple gift cards to a different Barry Gibb. She will not listen to reason. She is very defensive about her phone. And she can become verbally aggressive when anything about Barry Gibb is mentioned. I literally feel like I perform covert options at every chance I get to block and delete all the scammers. I have become emotionally overwhelmed. At one point they changed her bank account password. Thank God I called that before they drained her account. But it’s just a matter of time before somebody else claiming to be Barry Gibb takes her for everything. I even had her go to his authentic page on Facebook and have her send him a message. And of course, the message came back and stated that he does not interact personally with his fans. He especially stated that if somebody asked them to go to a different messaging platform to speak to him to report them immediately. I’ve went through this exercise with her multiple times. She is also asked me multiple times to delete all the messenger apps on her phone, which I’ve done. But she’ll get back on Facebook and search for Barry Gibb and of course there’s millions of them. Has anybody else gone through this and have any tips. I am so stressed every day. I wake up in the middle of the night. It’s the first thing I think of the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and it’s on my mind all day. I do get to talk to my sister about it, but there’s nothing she can do either.
If so is this person acting as POA?
If there is a POA then it is their responsibility (legally and morally) to stop your mothers access to credit card, checking accounts, savings accounts. and if necessary apply parental controls or prohibit internet.
If mom does not have a POA and has not been "officially" diagnosed then there is not much you can do. other than try to get Guardianship but that is an involved court procedure that you should avoid if at all possible.
"Amy Nofziger, who directs the victim support hotline at the AARP Fraud Watch Network, says celebrity scams are on the rise; she recently heard from five victims in a single day. Financial losses from these scams can be devastating, but Nofziger says the emotional damage is also painful. She recently talked to a woman whose husband filed divorce papers because he believed he was going to marry Jennifer Aniston."
"Tech companies are having some success battling impostors. Luke Arrigoni is a co-founder of Loti AI, a technology company specializing in deepfake detection that flags and removes fake celebrity profiles. The country music artist Lainey Wilson is a client, and Arrigoni says Loti has taken down nearly 8,000 fake Wilson accounts."
And just as with you, it has a daughter saying, "We've been telling her from the get-go that it's a scam, and she just doesn't believe us."
Also, with dementia, it’s not just the memory loss. It affects reasoning very much too. So what seems so obvious to us, they can’t reason on. So no amount of explaining he’s rich & doesn’t need it will help. Between both the inability to reason & then forgetting right away too, it only upsets them & makes them confused. In their mind, it was legitimate. When we try to correct them, it’s like saying they are stupid or confusing them more because it seems right to them. The workarounds, fibs, etc are the best way forward. There is much less (less, not none😊) aggravation & tension between you that way.
So blocking the internet, changing phones to one that just has calling & text with numbers of approved friends & family, etc. works better.
It’s so frustrating that there are people knowingly defrauding vulnerable people. Most of it not out of their excess, most of the time it is all they have.😕
So sorry you are dealing with this & sorry for your mom too. And kudos for you trying to protect her.
Also, see if you can get POA for mom before it's too late. Then you can get on her bank accounts and prevent her from spending money.
We had to do this with my dad and I struggled with it. His iphone was his life--it was the first thing he wanted in the morning, and before bed he made sure it was charging.
I was the one who couldn't imagine taking that away from him. I thought, "maybe today he won't sign up for an extended warranty on a car he does not have." But something like that always happened. And it was only going to get worse.
So...his phone was suddenly broken. No one could explain what happened. It just broke (that's the therapeutic fib that was told.) And he adjusted. He fussed for a while, but he got used to his new routine, without his phone.
This kind of makes me think of a toy saxophone that someone gave my son when he was a toddler. My son loved it. It was extremely loud and played the same tune over and over and over no matter what button he pressed. He looked forward to playing with it every day. I couldn't imagine his life without it. But, one day, the batteries died. (We actually removed the batteries.) My son fussed, but then he got used to life without it. He adjusted.
She must still be driving, right? Maybe disable her car?
These are temporary solutions to slow her down until you can things under control...
I mean, maybe try that? Your Barry can message her.
If she is accessing the Internet through her phone, it’s time for said phone to be dropped in the toilet to be replaced with a flip device. If it’s through a laptop, time for y’all to change the router password.
Your mother was without Facebook or social media almost all of her life. She will adjust.
www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-is-texting-a-fraud-496463.htm
you might want to look at what was posted there.
Please go to her bank and alert them to her history of scam susceptibility.
Are you her PoA? If you are you may be able to activate the authority so that you can have the control you need to now manage things. If not... you will need to continue to do end-runs around her.
From ChatGPT5:
"1. Practical (Immediate) Steps to Limit or Disable Internet Access:
If she lives with you or you can access her home network:
Change or lock the Wi-Fi password. You can temporarily disable the router’s Wi-Fi or use its settings (often at 192.168.0.1 or via the provider’s app) to restrict access by device.
Contact the internet provider (Comcast, CenturyLink, etc.) and ask about “parental controls,” “device pause,” or “senior protection” settings — most ISPs can block access to social media or messaging sites.
Simplify or replace her device.
Consider a “senior-safe” phone such as a Jitterbug or basic flip phone (no apps).
For computers or tablets, you can install Screen Time controls (Mac/iPad) or Microsoft Family Safety (Windows) to restrict internet use or whitelist only safe sites.
On Android: Settings → Digital Wellbeing → Parental Controls → Family Link.
2. Protect Her Finances
Even without POA, you can:
Contact her bank or credit-card issuer. Explain that she is a vulnerable adult being targeted by scammers.
They can flag the account for “elder financial exploitation risk,” monitor unusual transactions, and sometimes set up transaction alerts to you.
If you have joint access or her consent, enable daily spending limits or ATM withdrawal caps.
File a fraud alert or credit freeze at the three major bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion). This prevents scammers from opening new accounts in her name.
3. Report the Scam
FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: ic3.gov
FTC Consumer Report: reportfraud.ftc.gov
If scammers are impersonating Barry Gibb or the Bee Gees, you can also report the fake profiles directly to Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube as impersonation/fraud."
I would see an attorney (Elder Law) to come up with solution tips. You may consider a call to APS first.