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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My grandmother had to go to a rehab for a few months after she broke her hip. It was a nice place, even she admitted that. Food was okay, but not slop either.
She was mad at the whole situation and didn't think she needed the rehab. She refused to eat and of course lost weight. Refused Ensure and the like. Just dug in her heels. I'd watch her nibble on a piece of lettuce for 5 whole minutes, then she'd insist she'd eaten. She was basically on a hunger strike.
Finally her doctor sat next to her bed and asked if she'd like a feeding tube. She got mad and said “No!”. The doctor calmly told her that he couldn't force her to get a tube. Then he told her that if she kept on this hunger strike, she would die much sooner than later. That scared her. Guess who ate half her dinner that night?
My mom with dementia and aunt,without dementia, both in their late 90s had this slow decline lasting about a year. Both expressed that they knew they were declining in their own ways. Your mom should not be forced to eat but you might ask if the staff would provide a few snacks between meals. It might also be time to try supplements but again they should not be forced. It might be time to wait it out. My mom had a fall with a small spinal fracture which is when her hospital doctor suggested hospice. If you choose you can notify her doctor for advice.
Oh that comment resonates! - "She won't drink 'cos she'll have to pee". I'm always in the restroom; she thinks 4x a day is too much. Then every time she needs a blood test, it takes the senior nurse to get a vein. I switched her to mostly decaf to help at least a little. "You can take a horse to water, but..."
Not enough info. 1. What does mother say when you discuss this with her? 2. What is mother's weight and age? 3. Has there been appreciable weight loss? 4. Has this been discussed with doctor? 5. What is mother's overall health, any diagnosis, any prognosis we should know to advise you?
You've not given us much to go on here, so not sure you'll get the answers you need or want, but is someone with her at meal times to make sure she eats something, and if not why not? Are her teeth bothering her or is she having trouble swallowing thus why she doesn't want to eat? Is she at least drinking a few high protein Boosts during the day to at least get some protein? And of course as folks get older their food intake often drops a good bit, so are you perhaps worrying about a non-issue at this point? Hopefully you will fill in the blanks here so we can better help you.
She is 91 and recently moved to assisted living after a bad fall. She gets mad and says she is! She has Macular Degeneration and that might play into it. But she is really stubborn about it even if you are sitting there with her.
My MIL did this when she was in her early 80s, after her husband went into a facility due to Parkinsons. We knew she had some short-term memory loss but then once we were on an outing with her and she almost passed out. Went we checked in her home we discovered food rotting in her fridge and no signs of any eating activity (no dirty dishes, no food waste in trash, no dirty pots). She thought she was eating, but wasn't. Even when we'd ask her what she at that day she'd give us a roster of items but there was no evidence she actually ate anything. She forgot how to use all her appliances. She forgot there was food in the fridge for her. We transitioned her to AL.
That she is eating. She�s 91, down about 24 lbs. since Oct My MIL (89) was in LTC for 7 yrs. This past Oct the facility saw she was consistently dropping weight (10 lbs), didn't have much of an appetite. They suggested hospice. Hardly long after the hospice began (in her same room, same facility, same people) she passed away in December. It shocked us how fast it happened. Has she been checked for a UTI? 24 lbs is an alarming amount of weight loss. She could be having other health problems: diabetes, thyroid, cancer, etc. When was her last thorough physical exam by her primary doctor?
I can't help much because I never did get Mum to eat. The meal replacement drinks (lots of people mention Ensure in these forums) kept Mum going for a while. We provided Mum with snacks to encourage her to eat. She sometimes ate one or two sweets, or pieces of dried fruit and cheese, but then refuse any more. She really believed, at times, that she did eat. However, she pretty much stopped and we couldn't persuade her. It's something you have to accept.
I'd like to add that Mum had some problems using the toilet because of the lack of food. Laxatives were too harsh, even senna, so shd was given one DulcoEase every day to help soften stools. This made Mum more comfortable. It's not usually advised to take such medication long-term, but I think it's fine for an elderly person, without worrying about them becoming reliant on such tablets for the rest of their lives.
My mom's nursing home weighed residents regularly and would have supplemented the intake of anyone losing weight that rapidly with very high calorie drinks and puddings, these products are also available for the public to purchase.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She was mad at the whole situation and didn't think she needed the rehab. She refused to eat and of course lost weight. Refused Ensure and the like. Just dug in her heels. I'd watch her nibble on a piece of lettuce for 5 whole minutes, then she'd insist she'd eaten. She was basically on a hunger strike.
Finally her doctor sat next to her bed and asked if she'd like a feeding tube. She got mad and said “No!”. The doctor calmly told her that he couldn't force her to get a tube. Then he told her that if she kept on this
hunger strike, she would die much sooner than later. That scared her. Guess who ate half her dinner that night?
If you choose you can notify her doctor for advice.
1. What does mother say when you discuss this with her?
2. What is mother's weight and age?
3. Has there been appreciable weight loss?
4. Has this been discussed with doctor?
5. What is mother's overall health, any diagnosis, any prognosis we should know to advise you?
Are her teeth bothering her or is she having trouble swallowing thus why she doesn't want to eat?
Is she at least drinking a few high protein Boosts during the day to at least get some protein?
And of course as folks get older their food intake often drops a good bit, so are you perhaps worrying about a non-issue at this point?
Hopefully you will fill in the blanks here so we can better help you.
We provided Mum with snacks to encourage her to eat. She sometimes ate one or two sweets, or pieces of dried fruit and cheese, but then refuse any more.
She really believed, at times, that she did eat. However, she pretty much stopped and we couldn't persuade her.
It's something you have to accept.
It's not usually advised to take such medication long-term, but I think it's fine for an elderly person, without worrying about them becoming reliant on such tablets for the rest of their lives.
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