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An elder care lawyer says since my aunt has been caring for her that now she can’t stop because DHR will charge her with abandonment. I find this hard to believe. I thought social services were there to help. But I was told they will charge you with abandonment then place her somewhere. So how do you get your own health and family taken care of if this is true?

If your aunt is not her legal guardian , she is free to leave . If she is , your aunt can find a home for your mom .
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Reply to anonymous1008856
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I seriously doubt this myself. Especially in Georgia or most of the South. If your mother refuses help, then that’s her right. Let her be. Events will happen that will force her to change. Sorry you have to wait for that, but that’s what her refusal will require
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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This doesn't sound right. No one can be made to care for another. Your Aunt needs to get back to her family. She was only there to get Mom up and running. Its not her fault that Mom is not doing for herself. Maybe if Aunt left, Mom would have to do. Have Aunt tell her she needs to do for herself. Because, as soon as this virus thing is over she is going home to her husband.

Maybe call Office of Aging and run things by them. Ask if they can send someone out to explain to Mom what resources are out there for her.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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worriedinCali Apr 6, 2020
Many office of aging are closed and/or not doing assets during the pandemic.
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Unless your aunt doesn’t have guardianship over your mom, it’s not abandonment. Your mom is allowed to refuse help and make bad decisions. Does the lawyer think you can force your
mom to accept help or what?
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Reply to worriedinCali
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I think perhaps this lawyer isn't very busy, especially now, and is looking for a gullible client (no offense intended to you).
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Reply to GardenArtist
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Lord, I hope not. I don’t see how you can force someone to accept help.

With children, it is abandonment. I know someone who was having trouble in her marriage. She told her husband that she was leaving for a few days. She was gone for three days.

She had three young kids under 12. He took her to court and pressed charges of abandonment and he got full custody of the children.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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He's wrong. Find a new attorney.
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Reply to careinhome
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Seriously doubt the veracity of the attorney's answer unless your aunt has guardianship of your mother. which she does she can return to the state, if she is no longer able or willing to fulfill her obligations. You cannot be forced to care for someone who is over the age of 18. I would still call The Office on Aging in spite of the current epidemic. You will be first on their list when they open again if nothing else and many of the offices are responding by telephone to give you additional resources. They are not doing personal in-home assessments at this time.
If there was an emergency and your aunt has to leave immediately. I would then call Adult Protective Services because if your mother is alone she is considered in imminent danger. Be prepared for them to ask where you and any other members of the family are located because even they will have a difficult time with placement during the pandemic.
Praying for the best for you your mom and the family
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Reply to geddyupgo
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It depends on the state. If you don't believe your lawyer, then get another opinion. There are strict laws in some states that govern family responsibilities toward elders.
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Reply to schrederkim
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You just need to get on the phone and call Dept of Social Services and find out or maybe DHEC (DHEC oversees nursing homes, etc. to a degree). One of these agencies will know and point you in the right direction. Your Aunt is not her legal guardian nor does she have POA I am assuming?? She can walk off and tell social services she is leaving. Aunt is not a “prisoner”. She was just stepping in. Aunt can tell them she is not able to care for her sister and has a family of her own. This is not a hard thing to handle.
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Reply to elaineSC
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