My mother refuses to move into assisted living? What can I do?

visit some good assisted living and take her with you . She may like AL once she will familiar with the people living over there. Even i have faced the same problem with my mom. Now she is staying in AL and she is so happy over there.

My mother's doctor has just made me feel like a 5 year old - AGAIN - by chastizing me for not getting my parents into assisted living a year old. I have struggled with making my parents happy and maintaining a positive relationship with them vs doing what I believe they need for their own safety and well-being. My mom's doctor reminded me that when I was a child my parents often made decisions that I did not like and I became angry - but here we are years later and I still love and respect them. Once I put it into that context it became an easier decision and we put down the deposit on an assisted living apartment yesterday! I have tried to focus on their needs and not my own in our discussions and had to constantly provided them with concrete examples of the positive benefits of assisted living. I know the worst may still be to come, but I am standing my ground. Because your mom seems so much more physically able than my parents (89 and 93) you might look at other options. For example the bank helped my father set up all automatic payments/deposits, church members volunteered to assist with taking them shopping and to doc appointments, etc. On the other hand the longer you put off what may be the inevitable, the harder it may be for her to make a transition. I visited lots of assisted living facilities before finding one to take my parents to visit. Each has a different "feel" - for instance my dad had an aunt in assisted living some years back and said he would feel out of place with those "fancy tableclothes" in the dining room. Once my parents visited, met people and saw that assisted living really was their own apartment with continued independence and not a prison, they became more receptive. Does she has a friend who has moved to assisted living that she might go visit for lunch? And assisted living is not all-inclusive - there may still be extra fees for transpo, laundry, etc. that you and your mom may prefer that you be involved with. Good luck. Keep us posted on your journey

There are so many options for you to explore in your situation. Count yourself blessed that your mom is so healthy. I begged my mom to go to assisted living. Due to dementia she refused and eventually went to memory care and eventually a nursing home. My mom would have loved AL .I live in OK and have visited many AL facilities in attempts to get my Mom placed for dementia care. They are lovely, homey, welcoming, excellent food, activities, transportation services, religious services, nurses on site. Some AL faciliites allow pets and some AL in my city have independent living units which are for those people who don't need help with meds. My grandmother living in that and eats 3 meals a day in the cafeteria but also has a small kitchenette in her room. If I were you I would ask your mom to just visit a place with you, schedule to have lunch there and talk to the other residents. She may surprise you and decide it would be a great place to live and no longer have the responsibilities of home ownership. I wish you well in your search for your mom.