Mom is not eating much these days. Any suggestions how to handle?

Call the doctor, explain that she refuses to go see him and ask him to have Hospice do an in home evaluation. Refusing food is a sign that everything is shutting down, she could probably use a visiting nurse.

Part 2 I would like to give all of us caregivers a great big hug for all the work that we do everyday for our loved ones it is not easy. I will try to get my mom to the doctor asap and as always be watching for any changes . thanks again and god bless you all Purplerain.....:-)

Can you get a specimen jar from her doctor and get them a urine sample without her actually going to the office? Does she say why she doesn't want to eat, i.e. is she experiencing pain or feels full or feels nauseated? Will she drink something, like Ensure? It is very hard when our parents don't want to eat. My mom has up and down periods and has lost quite a bit of weight, but will still eat. It's hard to tell what is just "normal" for their age and what signals a problem that could be addressed. And there's always the idea, "Is this the beginning of the end" in the back of my mind (and probably yours too).

At 95, she probably doesn't want to eat much. You do realize she will die, as all of us do? Stop trying to force her into your world. Let her be who she is right now. She will eat when she gets hungry and if she doesn't after 3 days, call in a doctor. Encourage her to drink water or some liquids. They still make house calls. We are all wearing all the hats when caregiving a dementia patient. The trick is, to take some time for yourself and allow yourself to just be with your thoughts without thinking about all you HAVE to do. Merry Christmas!

Hi Purplerain,
It's so difficult when we want to see our parents eat and they choose not to. My mother has good days and bad days for eating. I started tracking what she does like to eat and what she doesn't and I realized that food consistency had a lot to do with it. She likes food that doesn't take a lot of chewing (yogurt, mac and cheese, ground beef mixed with pasta, fish, etc.) My mother also loves the green drinks that I make for myself. Her doctor okayed it, and she gets the veggies that she doesn't necessarily like to eat (e.g. spinach, kale, carrots) and fruit, protein, etc. I also add some coconut water for electrolytes and also add a scoop of protein & fiber. It's not unusual to want our parents to hang around as long as they can. I applaud you for looking for ways to make your mom comfortable and ensure proper nutritional needs are met.

Before my mom entered the final stages of Alzheimer's the doctor said to let her eat anything and at any time she wants, just so long as she eats. But those days of your mother eating like she used to are over even if she's okay. Older people eat less and less generally.

My doctor prescribed a medicine called megestrol which increases the appetite and it worked for my dad.

This is a frustrating situation for me and my mom, as well. Not only does she need the nutritional value of the food for obvious reasons, but she is diabetic, so what and when (and if) she eats affects her meds which affects everything else. AND she is newly undergoing chemo for stage 4 lymphoma and now has another whole list of ToDos food and water wise. Previous posts are right, tho'. Whatever you can observe that works - write it down and keep trying it. It may change from day to day, but often, she'll "remember" that she likes it.

There are so many reasons that our beloved seniors stop eating that there could, almost, be a book written about it. Some of these reasons are:
Age; body just doesn't want food, is beginning to shut down as part of the end of life process.
Mouth problems i.e. sores, tooth or gum problems that make eating uncomfortable.
Loss of smell, (most important sense for appetite). Sometimes spicing up food, if she doesn't have stomach problems, helps them better 'taste' the food.
Discomfort with foods of certain textures; hard to chew i.e. steak or pork chops, hard crusted breads, etc.
Illness i.e. bladder infection, sinus infestions, etc.
Stomach/gastrointestinal problems.
Arthritis in hands, wrists, elbows and or shoulder, (makes using a knife/fork/spoon to get food into mouth very painful and difficult)
So, as you can see, it's not easy to diagnose whe root cause of ones not eating.
The bottom line, however, is how much discomfort you are willing to put your mother through in order to asuage your own feelings of guilt. It's important to weigh your actions against her own comfort level. At 95, is it really worth it to put her through the aggrivation of seeing a doctor or a dentist and have them put her through a barage of uncomfortable, and often invasive procedures?
I agree with ferris 1, offer her nutricious food supplements i.e. Ensure, but be aware that, if given full strength, they can cause diarrhea; mix them with milk at a 50-50 ratio. Vegetable juice, (V-8 like but get the other brands without added sugar or sodium), or the vegetable/fruit combinations, and water them down using a sparkling water, i.e. Arrowhead or Calistoga, (lime, lemon or orange flavors work well). Also putting a small plate of 'finger' foods near her that she can nibble on at her leisure.
All of these are things that I had to deal with while caring for my own mother at her end of life and none of it is easy. I now work with seniors with Alzheimer's/dementia and have learned that there is no 'one size fits all' answer. I wish you all the best as you take on the honorable task of sharing in her end of life journey. She is, indeed, very fortunate, as are you.

Both my parents got fussy about eating. Think about nutrition as a whole day goal rather than in meals. With my Dad, who lives with me, I keep strawberry ice cream, strawberry slimfast, and strawberry Activia yogurt all he loves. He loves cookies/candy and there is a protein bar that is like wafer cookies that he likes and high fiber toast with coconut spread and maple sugar (good for his pooper). He also loves fresh fruit which is very good for him. He likes different veggies than I do ,tomatoes, beets, sweet potato, corn, peas. He has trouble swallowing, so there is lots of lite Veganase mayo on his dinner plate. And suddenly, he loves terriaki sauce!?! He is reluctant to drink enough fluids, but will drink water with crystal light, I don't want to give him sugar that might dull he appetite. He takes about 90 min to eat his dinner (in a bowl), his back hurts so he eats in his recliner/riser. Over the course of his day, he gets what he needs, usually not so much at a "meal".