My Mom is suffering from dementia. What forms on nonthreatening interaction can she anticipate? She can communicate, but her skills have diminished. I would like to make certain that she feels safe.
Gershun. I understand your predicament. My mom is in classes but yet its so difficult to get her there. It takes my father and to make it happen. Once she gets there she is a different person. My mom is also stubborn and comes up with every excuse! Maybe try to find someone that can befriend her and they can join things together. Tell her her doctor insists on some in home care and have them take her... They will get her there. You ate sooo right it is important for her to do such things otherwise her decline will be quick. God bless to you and yours!
My mother has dementia and she actually goes to a class which is great for socializing! They do puzzles, Crafts, bake they have entertainment and i swear by these clases. She got close to being kicked out do to her halucinations and acting out due to her overmedicated and combination of meds. We have them better regulated now and she is doing better and weare trying to add additional classes for her. She acts differently with them than she does with family members. I feel they help her more than any doctor or any pill.
In my Mom's facility they also have music therapy etc. but the resident has to leave their room to participate and my mom refuses to do so. In fact she has been there now for a year and only leaves her room when she needs to bathe and even that she does begrudgingly.
I phone her every day and the last few days she has sounded increasingly depressed. I know that she needs some kind of outside stimulation but she is sooo stubborn. She insists she isn't bored or depressed but I can tell that she is.
I'm worried that she will just fade away, not due to any physical problems (of which she has a few) but just out of ennui. How do I get her interested in ANYTHING!!!!? I just don't know anymore.
Hey Van2015, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this again with your mother-in-law after already going through it with your mom! It's hard enough to go through this once. I can't even imagine having to go through it twice! Yes, my mom was and is a terrific lady. She was always my role model. But now she doesn't remember who I am anymore, which is very hard as she gets upset when I tell her I'm her daughter, so I have to play along that I'm just another caregiver now. Because of that, our relationship has changed. However, I believe my mom deserves to be treated with the utmost dignity and respect during her last years. And as long as I can do it I will. She has a number of chronic conditions now, so we never know how much time we have left with her.
Thank you, Christine73, for telling us where to find the music CD's. I remember seeing them on the alz.org website now but I couldn't remember if that was where I had seen them or not. Must be catchy! ;)
My loves The Lawrence Welk Show so I play it for after supper on You Tube almost every night.. They have a lot of episodes on You Tube.. I have to walk away most nights when she's watching because I've seen them too much!! Gives me an hour break!
I sing with a small group from our church choir that goes out to care facilities with old hymns, country gospel, etc.,we get great reception, and usually get asked back. (We also do one disabled children's facility.) We have seem people be very moved by the music; one lady once thanked us for "giving me an hour of my life back." We've seen people who appear to be totally unresponsive perk up to the music. There is an enormous amount of music on youtube, search for something you know your loved one likes and go from there!
My husband is 83 and in the past was very fond of classical & jazz music. He founded a volunteer recorder flute group at our local center. Once he started into cognitive impairment, he found he could no longer follow the sheet music and remember where to go after a repeat sign so I made "special copies" for him. Eventually, he couldn't concentrate long enough to play and was losing his hand coordination, too. Once he stopped playing with our group, he didn't want to even hear classical music any more. If I turned on the radio at home, he would come over and turn it off. Now it seems the only music he will tolerate are singing old songs like "Goodnight Sweetheart" and "Blue Skies" . Sometimes I put on Youtube which has long playing videos with "calming music". If it's not too loud, he won't turn it off. I think I have to get myself a set of earphones so I can listen to classical music for myself! He keeps rejecting more and more things and is spending more and more time in bed.
I wish my Mom enjoyed music more but she prefers the TV. Mom and Dad were always big TV people and even now when she can't really follow the program she has to have the TV on. She always says "I like the noise". I have XM Radio and have tried all kinds of different music for her. I really thought that she'd enjoy the music from the 40s but even that lost out to TV. So, we watch a lot of old time reruns over and over and over again. Mom has moderate to severe ALZ disease and when she goes so goes the TV. I hate TV and would much rather have the quiet or soft music on. Funny how people can be so different and be in the same family. While music won't soothe my Mom's soul it sure will mine, so play away!
As to art, RLTV has featured programs on the effect of art therapy. It isn't the concept of producing masterpieces - it's the concept of expressing oneself through art.
Before dementia my dad loved to download all his favorite country music from his computer to CDs . He can no longer manage this. I'd like to put his CDs on some kind of MP3 device. Are there MP3 devices out there for elders that he could easily use? The music would be great for him and with some earphones my mom would not have to listen to his old hillbilly music which she always hated.
Poecat, we used to put a favorite CD on before we left the SNF in the evening so that Mom would be lulled into relaxation at the end of her day. I used to bring music and play on the pianos as well. Once I took my mother and one of the other residents down to the room with the baby grand. As I played (and I'm by no means a competent player), I noticed people rolling their wheelchairs down the halls and into the room. It was really, really touching to see how many were affected by music.
I did the same thing when my father was recovering from a long illness. One time I was playing classical music and even the staff came in! When I played a waltz, one of the other visitors got up and began waltzing with an imaginary partner. I always ended with old songs that the residents could really relate to - they loved songs of their generation.
There are individuals and organizations that specifically focus on music therapy. Google "music therapy" for your area - you might find a local group that can help.
Reiiki is another therapy which is very helpful and soothing - there was a Reiiki therapist at the Infusion Center who would visit patients as they were undergoing chemotherapy.
Music is a wonderful form of therapy and will help to calm and relax. As someone suggested, do an internet search for music therapy for Alzheimer & Dementia.
To music therapy I give a great big YES! As a former nursing home Activity Director, I can say that musical programs are the most successful and pleasing to the residents, staff & visitors alike! Keep it upbeat for the most part with some soft & sentimental familiar tunes too. Research popular tunes for the era when the client was young & active.. Also you can do sing a-longs of favorite songs. There are professional music therapists that can help !
In my mom's facility, they have people come and entertain. She has always loved music so she really does love it. When she was able to communicate and walk, she would get people to get up and dance with her but now she sits and smiles when they sing. Hymns, country western or the oldies. Christine73, what are the CD's?
What works for my mom is watching the old 'I love Lucy' episodes...some of them are so funny! She also likes 'Cops'. The problem with her liking these shows, is that she needs me to sit with her....or she'll get up and go to bed. Since she doesn't remember the individual shows, each episode is new to her, but I'm soooo sick of the same shows over and over. She was never much into music, and can't hear well enough now anyway. I don't even think she is watching the TV most of the time, but she still won't let me watch MY shows...
Music absolutely has been shown by research to stimulate parts of the brain that receive pleasure. Even those of us without dementia, music can evoke memories of past pleasures and sorrow, so make sure the music you choose is of her past pleasant events.
Music and art are both therapeutic. Many people with dementia find new talents when they are given these opportunities. Others just want to listen to music from their youth or even well known hymns.
MP3 players can be loaded with favorites, so that's a simple way to put them together. I had to keep changing my dad's CDs, which was fine but harder to keep up.
I hope that music and or art will help your mom. I know finding just the right thing isn't easy. Also, some days will be better than others, but I'd give it a try.
Thanks lmcarthy! I will look for those cd's. I am sorry about your mom, she sounds like a wonderful woman. My mom was very musical as well. She died 3 years ago from breast cancer and Alzheimer's. And now my mother in law has Alz. It is a terrible thing to be going through this again.
Hello poecat! In answer to your question both as an Occupational Therapy Assistant and now a caregiver for my own mother with dementia, music therapy has been proven to help people with Alzheimers and dementia. Not only does it calm them down and improve their mood, but it also seems to help them remember certain times of their lives. My own mom is 87 and at the moderately severe level of her dementia. She has always enjoyed music and used to play piano pretty well. A couple of years ago I took her to the library to get her sheet music she discovered she was no longer able to play piano anymore due to arthritis in her hands and probably also not being able to keep her mind on the sheet music long enough before forgetting her place. However, I often play either Big Band or Easy Listening music for her. It seems to bring her some enjoyment in her life since she really has little else that she can do any more other than watch TV. Occasionally we'll take her out to eat or I'll have her fold towels or helping make cookies, a salad, or jello. She used to be an avid reader and also wrote letters a lot, but she really can't do that anymore due to the deterioration in her language as well as cognitive skills such as attention span and memory. So music and TV is really pretty much all she has anymore. But I would say that in my experience most people with Alzheimer's or dementia respond very well to music therapy even in the nursing homes and assisted living centers that I worked at. Back when I worked in a nursing home we often had exercise groups where we would play various forms of music and the patients seemed to enjoy it - even the ones that were pretty out of it cognitively. Also, in the independent living center that I worked at as a manager we often had special live musical events and the residents really seemed to look forward to those. It really does seem to calm them and uplift their spirits. So in that sense, probably makes people with dementia feel safer too. There are even special CD's available nowadays specifically designed for Alzheimer's and dementia patients. So if you want to you might want to try googling it. Best of luck to you both!
Music has helped my mother in law a lot, she remembers music more than anything else. She is 77 and has moderate to sever Alzheimer's. She loves Tony Bennet and Sinatra, sometimes Barbra Streisand.anything like that, nothing too boisterous. I got lightweight headphones so I don't have to listen all the time :) I have also put on musicals for her (TV) She loves to watch Fiddler on the Roof, South Pacific and others. Otherwise I try not to turn on the TV. She will just stare at it, not interactive enough. I have found that she will smile a lot with any TV show that has a lot of children in it. Try kids shows on PBS. Sounds weird but works sometimes. Good Luck, what works this week might not work next week as you know. :(
Crafts, bake they have entertainment and i swear by these clases. She got close to being kicked out do to her halucinations and acting out due to her overmedicated and combination of meds. We have them better regulated now and she is doing better and weare trying to add additional classes for her. She acts differently with them than she does with family members. I feel they help her more than any doctor or any pill.
I phone her every day and the last few days she has sounded increasingly depressed. I know that she needs some kind of outside stimulation but she is sooo stubborn. She insists she isn't bored or depressed but I can tell that she is.
I'm worried that she will just fade away, not due to any physical problems (of which she has a few) but just out of ennui. How do I get her interested in ANYTHING!!!!? I just don't know anymore.
Thank you, Christine73, for telling us where to find the music CD's. I remember seeing them on the alz.org website now but I couldn't remember if that was where I had seen them or not. Must be catchy! ;)
I did the same thing when my father was recovering from a long illness. One time I was playing classical music and even the staff came in! When I played a waltz, one of the other visitors got up and began waltzing with an imaginary partner. I always ended with old songs that the residents could really relate to - they loved songs of their generation.
There are individuals and organizations that specifically focus on music therapy. Google "music therapy" for your area - you might find a local group that can help.
Reiiki is another therapy which is very helpful and soothing - there was a Reiiki therapist at the Infusion Center who would visit patients as they were undergoing chemotherapy.
Good luck on your quest!
MP3 players can be loaded with favorites, so that's a simple way to put them together. I had to keep changing my dad's CDs, which was fine but harder to keep up.
I hope that music and or art will help your mom. I know finding just the right thing isn't easy. Also, some days will be better than others, but I'd give it a try.
Take care,
Carol