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Anyone have any ideas or experiences with the dementia patients who hides their eye glasses? I have this problem with my mom. I have the eyeglasses with a ribbon around her neck all day but at night she hides it in places that it takes me days to find it! I even used a safety pin to secure the ribbon to back of her shirt, but she took it out and hid it again. Then every day she asks for it and of course she blames it on my poor husband! 😄


Also she goes to my closet and takes my clothes claiming that they're hers even though I'm petite and she is not! I know they don't think of sizes, but this is getting too much! Was funny at first but now I have to look for my clothes in her closet! 🙄


Any suggestions?


Thanks in advance🙏

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Do you put her to bed? Maybe take them then?

Not sure what you can do about the clothes short of putting a lock on your door. Which is what I would do.

When Mom was in the AL she used to take clean clothes and put them with the dirty ones. Once I figured out what she was doing I rehung them. Always right on the top of the pile.

Her glasses, one time she left them in an empty room. Another, the hairdresser mixed Moms up with another woman's. I ended up taking pictures of them in case they got lost again.
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I would put a lock on the closet door. As for her glasses, maybe get a second pair. You can find really inexpensive glasses online. You can hold on to the second pair. Dealing with someone with this disease is very trying.
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I used to have this issue with my LO and nothing really worked. I have read about a Bluetooth device that attaches to the glasses and tracks it, if it’s lost. I saw one on Amazon for about $39.99. I have no idea how well it works.

When my LO started taking her glasses off and losing them, I was told by multiple people that she was no longer using them, meaning she was no longer reading or watching tv. I don’t know if that’s true.
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OneBlueMoon May 2020
I don't know about that, but she really needs it when watching tv. or walking.
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Readers from the chemist work well for me, exactly the same prescription as the optician worked to. I have a pair everywhere in the house and car where I need spectacles – 9 pairs around at the moment. Even if readers aren’t quite as good for your mother, they should give her some vision, and having a few pairs around drops down the instant problem when the real ones go missing. If you can, take her to the chemist and try her with the specs on display to find the best option. Start with 2.5s.

And put a top bolt on your closet door so she can’t open it easily to swipe your clothes. That’s easier for you than a padlock.
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OneBlueMoon May 2020
It was in the trash this time! It must have fell from her night stand! But I'm going to take it before the bed every night👌
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I agree with readers instead of replacing her existing rx pair if they should get broken or damaged beyond repair. I took my Mom in for an eye exam since her old prescription wasn't valid any longer; the exam was a fiasco (I doubted the accuracy), but I spent about $600 for a new pair of trifocals and damn me if she didn't run over them with her walker two weeks later. She was in the later-middle stages of dementia at the time, and was able to watch TV and see well with strong readers after the destruction of the second pair. I tried a lanyard, a better case, and workers were as careful/watchful of them as could be expected.
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Dealing with the eye glasses too. However, after stepping on prescription pair, I have gone through 18-20 pairs of glasses I get from Sams. I tried some from the dollar store, but the difference in the frame bothered my honey, I made eye glass cord to attach - still they go in a dark hole - so.....I just keep buying the ones that look as close to what his prescription glasses cost. When one hits the dust...I replace it. I have to tell you something funny. My husband can't drive our vehicles anymore so he goes out and drives the John Deere around the yard or our farm tractor (with supervision), He can't cut the grass straight anymore and it is like looking at grass/weed artwork. I found a 20 year old pair of his safety glasses and he put them on - I told him to slow down because the mower was old, and YEAH we got part of the yard (although small) cut great!

You can put a lock on your closet, however, you could put some of her clothes in your closet and maybe she'll pick out her own. I have an "Oh, Well" attitude, even when my most expensive china cup and saucer got broke, It was a hummingbird. Now, the cup has a story and I look at the cup (repaired) and say "I'll remember this more fondly."

In light of what will happen as the disease progresses - I decided to treasure these moments. Frustrating? Yes at times. I a putting them in perspective and if I get upset I try to do so in private. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. May you blessed
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wiseowl May 2020
I love this attitude! You have adapted so well and with such wonderful compassion and humour. I find if you can see the funny side it teally helps! Good to read, very cheering! xx
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My wife continually looses her eyeglasses and the remote control for the tv. She is usually compliant in the evening and I just take them and put them in my dresser under my t shirts. I mostly just leave them there unless we go outside because she sees pretty well and no longer can read more than a few words and cannot figure out how a remote works. She recently has started messing with my teeth if I leave them soaking in Efferdent, wrapping them in paper towels putting them in a drawer, etc. now I just wear them all the time and only soak them when I am taking a shower.
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Have you tried having a small plastic container (like a cutlery drawer section) with the word GLASSES in big letters taped on it, in any room she's likely to take them off, like the bedroom, bathroom, and living room? Start at bedtime and try to observe and guide for a few days. And definitely have two pairs prescription, but hold on to one.
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Does Mom still read? If she can't or won't, she may not need multi-focal lenses. She also doesn't need to see far away to drive. She needs to be able to walk around safely, perform some self-care activities, watch TV and recognize people.

If she has cataracts developing her glasses don't have to be as accurate, but her poor sight will impact her behavior. People with diabetes can have their prescription change from day to day if their blood glucose isn't stable.

FYI the magnifiers in the store only work if she is farsighted and has the same prescription in both eyes. That means they will only help about 1/4 of people who need glasses to see. Ask her eye doctor what you can order for her online that will let her see adequately and be easily replaced.
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MargaretMcKen May 2020
Doctor, readers work for most people. They work as well as Opticians' specs if you have the same prescription in each eye, but they will still help people whose eyes are slightly different.
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Dementia is hard. But please understand mom is not playing you. She doesn't remember where the glasses are. This is the dementia that mom can't control.
She also can't respect your clothing because she doesn't remember. I'd put a lock on your bedroom door limiting her access to the room. If you don't want her getting into things, limit her access. That way you aren't wasting time and energy looking for things and getting annoyed.
Just remember what she's doing isn't personal to you. It's her dementia.
Being a caregiver to a dementia person is very difficult. Take care of yourself.
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Zenni is our go to for cheap glasses for nearsightedness. For farsightedness (readers), Amazon or eBay. I buy 3 pair for $10 and my husband’s are 5 for $12. Sam’s and Walmart also have big packs for cheap.

i got tired of buying replacement phones and remotes to have “in stock”. I buy Tile finders to stick on all my mother’s remotes and phones. The app on my iPhone has been a blessing when she accused us of taking things. I pull my app up and the Tile beeps and locates the missing item. And the tile device stays adhered! She hasn’t removed any of them yet!

My mother’s room is over our living room and when I hear her being busy back and forth and drawers and cupboards banging, I know tomorrow she won’t be able to find anything. This is normal. My sister went through this with her mother-in-law so I kind of knew what to expect with our mom but it’s still peculiar to me why she moves things all the time. I thought she was hiding them but she seems to be relocating all the time.
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CarolLynn May 2020
It isn't "hiding" them, in the normal sense of the word. It's often a fear (sometimes from the inherent paranoia) of loss or theft, and the dementia patient is simply "putting them in a safe place" - - they just forget WHERE that is and/or that THEY did it, giving them further reason to believe that someone is stealing their things.
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The best answer is everything you have done....go with the flow. The realistic answer since it is getting to be to much for you, for your clothes start locking your bedroom door or put a knob cover on the doorknob, the one that worked best for my dad were the ones that you had to squeeze tight on a certain spot for it to grip the knob. Dad didn’t have much strength left in his hands because of arthritis and I actually bought three different ones to try, I then returned the others that didn’t work for us. You can find these with baby proofing items. His glasses were an entirely different matter, I never really came up with a good solution. I would have to really look for them hard at least twice a week, once it took two days to figure out where he had taken them off. What finally happened was that he just wouldn’t wear them at all. I’d give them to him and five minutes later they would be off. I finally just let him go without, he seemed much happier and was able to navigate around the house and yard fine. You could try to give her a little shoulder bag pouch and tell her she can keep her glasses in there and they will be safe. Good luck to you
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In my experience, you gotta go with the flow of things here. What you have been doing. Maybe try tucking her into bed...that way you can see where she puts her glasses.
As for your personal items. Thats more serious. Get a padlock and lock up your stuff...or at least lock your room whenever you are in another part of the house.
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There are small trackers you can buy that can be attached to the glasses so when she hides them it will give you a good idea of where they are.
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I would suggest taking her glasses in the evening and putting them in a drawer with a child lock on it. You will always know where they are.

I would also suggest putting child locks on your closet(s) so she can not rummage through your closets - maybe also your drawers too - so you won't keep playing hide and seek with everything,

Keep a few drawers available for her use that hold items of nominal value for her to sort and go through.
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Why on earth don't you buy a "string" that attaches to the glasses and put that around her neck. That way they are hanging on her body - not getting lost. Just make sure they cannot be be separated from the cord holding them. And perhaps put a knot or tie in the back so she can't pull them off her head. If she keeps losing them, STOP REPLACING THEM.
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mavisgm May 2020
Sorry to ask, but was wondering if you read the original post. She put the glasses on a ribbon around her neck, and tried attaching the ribbon to the back of her mother's clothes with a safety pin, but it didn't work. So I don't think a "string" would either.
Also her mother needs her glasses when she WALKS or watches TV so she does need the glasses. (Since Mom really doesn't know what she is doing, she doesn't need to be punished by not having them replaced)
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The door-knob cover (child proof cover) is a good, cheap option, requires no tools and you don't have to make any holes or carry around keys! I don't care for them much (but also don't need them myself) as they can be difficult to "operate." But, that is the goal here! I think it was my son's house where I encountered these (he needed them for his son.) Depends on what kind of closet door handles you have - mine are bi-fold, so this wouldn't work on them, but it should work on the door to the room.

Putting it on the door to your room is probably even a better option anyway, because those with dementia can start rummaging through your drawers too! Mom was doing this in her own place, so I had YB take her out for a bit and took every piece of paper, bill, statements, etc I could find! She was digging out old stuff and making my life hell!!! If you do this, consider ensuring ANYTHING important is kept in your room (or install the same covers on the doors to any rooms with important items.)

As for the glasses - having a special place marked for them might work, but probably won't. The "hiding" of items is more like a safe-keeping method for those with dementia. The problem is they won't remember where they put the items! Glasses are difficult to locate, but try a hearing aid!! The RFID tags *might* work, but searching for these so far have only shown some that are rather large for glasses. I only did a cursory search, so there might be options out there. I know these can be attached to various items, to help locating them, but if it is bulky, she likely won't like it on her glasses. If she leaves the chain/string/ribbon attached to the glasses, perhaps the tag could be attahced to that instead. I had thought about trying this for the hearing aids, but it would only help back then if we lived together (she was on her own at that time) and the tags were not very small, not good for a hearing aid.)

We've lost several hearing aids at MC due to laundry (was lost in the sheets, no one checked) and one of the newest pair (last year) went AWOL shortly after we got it, probably wrapped in tissue or napkin at meal time and tossed. She kept taking out the remaining one, so they pretty much don't give it to her.

If she's willing to let you take them at night, before bed, and lock them up, go with that. If not, would you consider a baby monitor, so you can watch where she puts things?
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My father has repeatedly lost and damaged several pairs of his glasses. After a while and much expense, I bought him several strong magnifiers/readers from the Dollar Store. I purchased all at the same time, in the same color and put them in every room. Then he wouldn't get upset if he lost or misplaced them because he simply "found them" (a new pair without him knowing) in another room. He no longer drives and he can't read much anymore, so it's really just for him looking at a sale ad and his mental comfort.
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Imho, you would do yourself a favor by buying some reasonably priced "readers."
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you will need several pairs of glassed from the dollar store, start with that.
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I've been buying reading glasses from Dollar Tree for $1.00 for several years; have them everywhere I sit and read or use the computer. Had to update to a stronger lens a couple times, (am at 3.25 currently) but it has worked great for me!
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